(Closed) How would you feel if……

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Hmm, I don’t know. I know the first thing I would thnk with a near 2 hour gap would be "Wow, what are we going to do in that time"

Maybe if you have a wedding web site you could explain it a bit, and list some great resturaunts for them to try while waiting for the reception to start. 

Post # 4
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

as long as you make it clear, and allow time in between for guests to get dinner, then it is fine!  And tell you FMIL that if she would like to pay the $10k, then go right ahead.  I have seen the same thing happen….my FI’s bro and SIL were paying themselves, so they had an 11 am wedding and a light lunch.  The MIL was horrible about it…she complained and insulted the whole thing for a year.  but she never offered to help, mainly because she couldn’t, so they just ignored it and did what they wanted!

Post # 5
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

yet again, I agree with miss sweeney.. Its a bummer to let your guests fend for themselves for 2 hours, espiecally the out of towners…

can you move the time around? I know its really hard to do at some places but if it possible, maybe do it earlier.. say 1 or 2 and do a "light lunch" or cocktail recpetion. or later.. maybe 6 or 7 and do a desert reception???

Where is your reception being held? eeryone’s budget is different.. if you shop around you may be able to find a great deal. 

we are paying 5,500 for hor dourves (sp?), buffet dinner, soft drinks, linens, dance floor and service… (80 guests)  basically, i told caterer what i wanted and my budget and they worked with me (3 hor dourves instead 5, no beef dish etc) 

anything’s possible! Just negotiate! 

 

Post # 6
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Yeah for me the problem isn’t the Hors D’oeuvres it’s the timing. For many people 6 p.m. is the beginning of "dinner time." Especially for families and older people.  If you want people to eat dinner inbetween that means you want them to eat dinner at 4 or 5 p.m. which is an early and odd dining time…Personally I’d feel kind of like you were trying to push the cost of entertaining off on me (the guest). I’d feel that way even more if you had all the typical things you had at a wedding (like a 4 hour reception with dancing, boquet toss, etc). 

My understanding is that when having an Hors D’oeuvres reception or a dessert reception you should always have it at time that could not be considered as a main meal time.   So if you had HD reception at 3 or 4 then people already ate lunch and aren’t hungry yet for dinner. Or if doing a dessert reception if you had it at like 9 pm then people already ate dinner, etc.  One way also to give people the hint is to include the time on the reception card.  Like "Champagne Reception from 4-6."  People will get the hint that it’s 2 hours of nicety and not a full blow deal with meal.

Post # 8
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

I wouldn’t be upset at all. It’s understandable. But the timing is a little different. Could you have your h’ordeurve reception at 4pm instead of 6pm? Then people would not expect dinner anyway because it’s early enough.

Post # 9
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

What about a later event….7:30 Desserts only?  That way its totally clear that there is no dinner, and you can have lots of yummy after dinner offerings, maybe even an espresso bar?  I’m afraid if it was a 6PM hors de ourveurs thing, people would be tempted to leave early to eat dinner.  And if you expected them to eat dinner before, they probably wouldnt be hungry, and your yummy offerings might go to waste.  With dessert, people will have assumed that they needed to go eat dinner on their own, AND you can still dance the night away!

Post # 10
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

i’ll echo the others and say its the timing that throws it off for me…not the menu and dance. 6pm is the start of dinner time…..so….if you could tweak the time….that might help.

i like the idea of doing desserts instead of finger foods.

Post # 10
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

i’ll echo the others and say its the timing that throws it off for me…not the menu and dance. 6pm is the start of dinner time…..so….if you could tweak the time….that might help.

i like the idea of doing desserts instead of finger foods.

Post # 12
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would be annoyed as a guest still. I would want all wedding stuff together, not a break in between. I want to be able to celebrate it with the bride and groom right after, not wait and have a meal and entertain myself. It kills the whole mood for me, that day is about celebrating someones marriage, not what fun things can we find to do in town while waiting for the part-ay later. I’m not saying spend the money for the meal, just perhaps re-evaluate the whole layout of the day.

Post # 13
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

if you can do it, i would cut down on your guestlist and serve dinner. my rule, honestly, is though it is your special day and your choice on what to do (hors d’oeuvres are totally fun though and a lot of times filling), stay considerate to your guests who have taken time out of their day to spend with you, celebrating with you, perhaps traveling far to be present, spending funds for accommodations, general trip expenses, and perhaps your wedding gift.  giving them a small dinner along with select hors d’oeuvres is just a small gesture in return. you can definitely make an hors d’oeuvres event special and fun, though. good luck!

Post # 14
Member
32 posts
Newbee

I’m with the others who suggest switching the time up a bit, maybe to a bit earlier in the day instead of later so you can keep all of the wedding activities together. To give another perspective try taking the word "wedding" out of the picture and think of this as hosting another event with the people you care most about.  Would you have your friends and family over to your house for "light Hors D’oeuvres" from 6pm-9pm after they have spent the afternoon in the mountains for any other event?  If yes, continue on the current path, if no, consider some of the suggestions from the other posters.

Post # 15
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I agree with Bride 100%. I assume it’s a geographical thing because I am from NJ and I know that myself included people would be offended. And I also think it’s an Itailan thing (which I am) that if there is alot of time between ceremony and reception usually either the parent of the groom or bride hosts a little get together at their house and then ou head off to the reception.

But I have to say if I had to wait hours between ceremony and reception and then got to the reception and there was no dinner. I wouldn’t be a happy camper. Again not sure where you live but here most of the guests give money as a gift and usually enough to cover their plate per person so that really helps out with the cost of the reception and the meal.

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