Post # 1
My SO and I have been looking at rings since April. I have tried on rings and he has a billion pictures of what I like and was on the verge of ordering it. However his dad offered to let him look through some of thier “family” jewelry to see if there was anything that he thought I would love. He ended up picking out a lovely solitaire that worked great with the setting he was going to use and was everthing I dreamed of, the man did great. Well as it turns out it was a cz not a diamond after all so he decided not to use it. So instead of just going back to buy the original ring he tells me that he is going to use this cluster that I have told him on multiple occasions just wasn’t me and was way too big for my litter fingers. Yet although we have been looking at rings for 4 months now and he knows exactly what I love and he originially loved too he is giving me something that he already knows is nothing like what we have been looking at. I am absolutely honored that my ring is coming from his family but I can’t help feeling really disappointed. He even said “I know its not what you want but you will probably upgrade in a few years anyway.” I mean that just isn’t the response I want to hear from my future husband about the gift he is giving me. I ultimately told him that I would love anything he gave me because I do love him and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him, but I have a feeling I am not going to have a good poker face when he proposes and upset him. I mean I really want to love it but I am afraid I will just burst out crying in the moment (not out of happiness). Has anyone been in this situation?
Post # 3
I think you should have a serious discussion with him first. By choosing something for you he KNOWS you do not like, he is letting you know just how little your happiness means to him.
Post # 4
@loveislife: I agree with PP. Sounds like he doesn’t care how you feel. Or is he possibly saying this so he can surprise you with your dream ring? You should get a ring you like and love!
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Madison Surf Club
My first thought was that he’s trying to throw you off so he can surprise you. But I could be way off base!
Post # 6
I don’t know why a guy would give a girl a ring that he KNOWS she doesn’t like. Now, if she had never said anything about it, that’s different. But if the OP explicitly said the ring really isn’t her, then he should probably get back to shopping.
Though, perhaps finances are really tight, or maybe he really is trying to throw her off!
Post # 7
@Miss Rucksack: +1 Me too!
OP, for you’re sake I hope thats what’s he doing!
Post # 8
I think he’s trying to throw you off so he can surprise you!
Post # 9
@Miss Rucksack: That was my first thought, too!
I hope we’re right!
Post # 10
Yikes. He’s already admitted he knows you don’t like it but he’;s going to give it anyways? Yikes. That’s a terrible way to start off a marriage. I’d be worried that will set tyhe tone for the whole marriage? I also have an aweful poker face and wouldn’t be able to hide that dissapointment. And he’s setting himself up here, because he’s going to get upset when you’re not over tyhe moon, but why should you have to lie about how you feel when he’s the one totally ignoring your wishes?
Sorry if my reply is rambly, i have a terrible head cold and i’m all fuzzy ><
Post # 11
It sounds to me like he’s just saying that and will actually get you either the other ring, or a different one. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
If it was me I would make a joke about the cluster one when he mentions it and see how he reacts. You should be able to gauge from his reaction if he’s serious or not, and if he is then tell him how you feel about it.
Post # 12
@loveislife: is budget an issue?
Maybe he can’t afford the ring you love, hence why he is open to upgrading in a bit.
Post # 13
I hope he’s trying to throw you off! I would be disappointed too 🙁
Post # 14
@letigre: See budget shouldn’t be an issue. He has been saving for awhile and was left quite a bit of money by a family member. When we were originally looking I kept saying things were too much and he said not to worry about it he had the money. He recently just bought a rather expensive “toy” which I thought wasn’t good timing knowing a ring wasn’t going to be cheap. I really just don’t know what he is thinking. When I ask him he is just always speechless.
Post # 15
I hope it’s that he’s trying to throw you off so the ring can be a surpsie! ♥
Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
This is exactly why women should not be involved in picking out their own ring.