(Closed) How would you feel in this situation? (Bachelorette Party Issues)

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What do you think about the situation?
    I'm being too cheap and should just suck it up, spend the money and go. : (9 votes)
    6 %
    $800 - $1000 is too much to ask a person to spend for a bachelorette party. : (141 votes)
    94 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    For my best friends, I’ll do and spend anything if that’s what they really want. Do you know that this trip is really what the bride wants? If she’s in love with this trip for her party, I think you should suck it up and pay for it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8431 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @sparklerunner:  I am sure your friend will understand…..don’t feel bad! Maybe you should just call her up and explain and tell her you’d like to still have a lil girl time again before the wedding! 800.00 is a lot of money so I totally understand and I am sure your friend will too…..the most important thing is that you are at her side that day no the bachelorette party so no worries!

    Post # 5
    Member
    9172 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    This whole trend of flying across the country and staying/eating/partying at expensive places for a bachelor or bachelorette party is waaaay over the top to me.  

    Also, there were times in my life where an extra $1000 would have practically knocked out my entire savings.  If anyone is in this position, it’s really crazy to ask them to “just suck it up”.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    That is way too much for a bachelorette party! I would just explain to the bride that you wish you could be there but you don’t have the money to swing it. I’m sure she’ll understand, I know I would!

    Post # 8
    Member
    2188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    Oh I see the bride doesn’t know, then you shouldn’t say anything until after so the other BM & MOH don’t get mad for ruining it if it’s a surprise!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1574 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I don’t think you should feel bad for not being able to attend. Perhaps you can skip the expensive weekend away, but organize something yourself that is local and will still be a great time! I doubt any bride would complain about have TWO bachelorette parties thrown for her.

    I would love to go to Vegas for my bachelorette, but that’s just not in the cards. I don’t expect my bridesmaids to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on my bachelorette party. I don’t even expect them to pay for the bachelorette. Buy me a drink or two and I will be happy!

    If your friend is a good person, she will understand. Screw the other bridesmaids if they give you flack for it. Are they planning a wedding for themselves less than a year after this wedding? If so, they must not be paying for much themselves if they can afford to do all this!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1228 posts
    Bumble bee

    You are not the one being unreasonable. If my MOH did this I’d be livid. A good friend will understand why you are not there and not hold it against you. Being in a wedding party shouldn’t bankrupt you. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I had a long weekend getaway cruise for my bachelorette party. I understood that not all of my friends and bms could afford that kind of weekend so it wasn’t a big deal if people couldn’t make it. I pretty much knew from the get go who wouldn’t be able to make it. So while I don’t think $800-1,000 isn’t too much. It is average among my girlfriends to spend that much.  I think you shouldn’t go if you can’t afford it. (hopefully) No feelings will be hurt.

    Post # 15
    Member
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I can understand how you feel. While I’m not in the same circumstances, I’m planning for a wedding while being a student. I thought I was cash strapped when I was just a student! Boy, was I wrong. So, yeah, I understand being cash strapped.

    I’m sure that if you explain to the bride your circumstances, she will understand. She is probably decently cash strapped herself! Most people on here have started looking at numbers, even if they haven’t committed to any costs yet, so I’m sure she is no different in terms of understanding cash constraints. Thus, I don’t think she will mind at all as long as you are honest and tell her.

    I also agree that the other bridesmaids and the bride can run off on their costly bachelorette weekend, and you can plan something local a few weeks or months later. In fact, I think the bride would love it! Who would dislike having TWO bachelorette paries?!

    Post # 16
    Member
    8706 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I see nothing wrong with saying no. However, have you talked to the other girls about alternative options?

    The topic ‘How would you feel in this situation? (Bachelorette Party Issues)’ is closed to new replies.

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