Post # 1
So, I know the wedding planning can take alot our of people and part of me is ready for it to be over with and part of me wonders what I am going to do with my time (other than school) once it is over…..
My fiance has been more involved than it seems most grooms are (trust me, he isnt as involved as that may sound) and he is probably pretty over seeing me stress about money and details etc. but lately people have been asking him how the wedding plans are coming and he replies with something to the effect of “great, i cant wait for it to be over”
How am I suppose to interpret that? Should I be offended? Should I assume he means the stress of the planning? I feel like I have the right to say that since I am up to my head in details but not him. Maybe thats a double standard.
He does say he cant wait for the day and he is so excited but it feels like a slight stab when he makes that type of remark.
How would/does that make you feel?
if nothing else, thanks for listening to me vent.
Post # 3
Try not to take it too seriously, but maybe tell him it hurts your feelings. Wedding planning is kind of stressful for guys too. Even if he isn’t doing much of the work, he probably misses his girlfriend. Before, you were just his girlfriend who was fun and happy to be around and it was butterflies and rainbows. Now you’re (probably) stressed, a little manic, and a lot busier. I’m sure he’s just missing “life as usual”
Post # 4
@3M – i agree with Corgi.
Lately, i’ve been sayin the same thing. Only b/c I can’t wait for this planning to be over so i can be married! Most brides feel the same way, right?
If you hear him say that again, ask him. Maybe in a joking manner, say “hey…whatcha mean by that?”.
Post # 4
I would talk to him about it. I don’t think that’s a cool remark to be saying when asked that question. Just bring it up and let him know how it makes you feel.
Post # 5
Honestly I wouldn’t be offended at all–because that’s exactly how I feel, and I think I know where he’s coming from. I can NOT wait for this to be over. I just want to be married. I just want to stop worrying about whether or not it’s going to rain on the dar of my wedding, I want to stop wondering if I’m going to be able to get all the chairs moved from the ceremony site to the reception area, I want to stop freaking out about every little thing that occurs to me. I’m done with the whole thing. And I know I have not been a peach to be around while I’ve been melting down about various things, so I have no doubt that FI can’t wait for it to be over either. So, I say give your FI a break. I think a lot of us are excited about the wedding and the marriage but think that planning sucks. And when we’re stressing, our FIs aren’t happy, so our stress is their stress. I wouldn’t take it personally. Just take it to mean that his happiness is very much wrapped up in yours!
Post # 6
I agree with what was said before, you should just talk to him and say what you’ve been feeling. I know that when it gets closer to the wedding I’ve been pretty emotional and almost anything will set me into a slight tear fest, when on normal circumstances it wouldn’t. But I would just talk tohim and let him know what’s up.
Post # 7
Maybe he’s heard you say it and thinks it’s okay?
I know what you mean about getting offended about the little comments they make, but try not to get so offended. My FI jokingly says we could have just JOP’d it months ago, but I know he only says it just to rile me up (which it does).
Just try not to stress about it!
Post # 8
Thanks, bees, I actually agree with all of you! Haha, I may say something the next time i hear him say it and i ABSOLUTELY think he has heard me say it a lot lately so he probably does think its ok.
I will mention it and tell him how i feel.
Thanks again ladies!
Post # 9
That was exactly what I said when people were asking me about planning. I think he is tired of seeing you stressed and upset and just wants ot be married to you. Remember that it is all about the marriage, not the one day of the wedding.
Post # 10
Def don’t take it seriously & its def not a stab towards you at all. Like others said, most brides & grooms all talk like that before the wedding with regards to the “planning” not the wedding itself.
In fact, hubs and I got so fustrated with planning that we almost booked a ticket to Vegas one night, lol!
Post # 11
I wouldn’t get offended or upset. My FI has said the same thing before, to friends of ours. I did the sideways eye look of death and he corrected himself by stuttering something like, “I mean Jen’s been doing most of it and I wish I was about to help her out more, she’s so stressed sometimes, and rightfully so, I can’t wait for her to be able to relax and for her to be my wife”. Blah blah blah lol. I believe I just said “nice save” and that was that. They mean no harm, considering your FI is more involved than most men, even if he’s not as involved, he might be feeding off of your stress- and feeling bad about it- thus stress on him.
Post # 12
I would personally not like it, but it’s because I didn’t have a bad time planning. I know that a lot of people’s stress has to do with money. But if you have a budget and stick with it, and have a good idea of your vision and how you and your hubby want to feel that day, I don’t know why things have to be so stressful! If you are really hating a segment of planning… why do it? (Example – can’t decide between peonies or lilies or roses? You’re already paying the florist- have them come up with it. DONE) Also, step back from the blogs for a little while. It’s fun to comb through ideas, but if you’re only feeling more stressed or indecisive, why keep looking?
While I’m glad to not have to plan the wedding any more, I certainly enjoyed those times! I don’t understand when brides beat themselves up planning. If your FI can’t wait for things to be done, maybe take a step back and regroup and find a way to plan that doesn’t make you wish time away. It’s a really sweet time to be in the moment – you’re engaged!! My husband looks back on our last year very fondly. I hope you both do, too.
Post # 13
Me and the FI have both been saying this to each other and the wedding is 4 wks away, I think its pretty normal, it depends on how much family drama, financial issues etc that will take a big toll on our lives. The first time my FI said he ‘cant wait for all of this to be over with’ I took it personal but we talked and I realized he really meant all the stress, we both cant wait for our wedding day especially our honeymoon, when its all over who knows we might even miss it!
Post # 14
I wouldn’t take it to heart, I think he just means he’s looking forward to your wedding day and being a married couple. Planning a wedding does take it’s toll sometimes, think of it like this, when your planning your holiday (packing your case and travelling to your destination), what’s going through your head? For me it’s not ohh I love packing or I wish this flight would take longer, it’s I can’t wait to get there and enjoy myself, similar thing I think :0)