(Closed) How would you handle this?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@stardustintheeyes:  You just keep repeating what you want: short dresses and no strippers. Repeat ad nasueam until it sinks in. Let them know they either respect your wishes or you get another BM to plan your Bachelorette party. In regards to the dress, remind your sister you love her but when her time comes she can have her BP wear what she wants. This is your time and you prefer short dresses.

Post # 4
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

That or sit down your MOH whomever that is and explicity say what you do not want (be somewhat reasonable) Like OK no strippers is reasonable, no club hopping- OK cool but allow them some leeway with some aspects so they’re not completely restricted. Be kind, and firm saying you’re glad they’ll be planning but you need her to know if the rules such as strippers is violated you’ll have no choice but to leave. Reiterate that its your stagette and your version if fun is a little more laid back and when its her turn you’ll be sure to throw her the party *she* wants.

Post # 5
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Do you and FI even want a wedding party?  We nixed having one and it was AWESOME.

But, if you do want one – use it as a way to refine your communication skills.  When they express their opinion that’s clearly contrary to what you want – stop.listen.and respond.  Something like:  I hear you are saying you want “X” type of dress/ to throw me “Y” type of party, but what I actually want is this:……

Something I’ve learned is that it’s only communication when the other person hears what you are trying to communicate!  You may think you have been telling them what you want – but they are not hearing it!

Post # 6
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i have a sort of similar situation my sis in law is very party, party! lol and she loves getting strippers for any occasion birthday parties, etc. She also wants to throw me a party and get strippers which i really dont want. BUT i did tell her as soon as i was engaged no strippers! so far so good i dont even think their planning anything which is good in a way because my family can party lol

Post # 7
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

It sounds like she is just young and doesn’t really know how to be a great bridesmaid. At that age, I am not sure I would have either. I think when the time comes if you are calm and rational, it will all be ok. Go dress shopping and try on a ton of dresses, show her what you want. When it comes time to plan the bachelorette party just tell hwer how that is not something you want at all and would be upset. Atleast she is excited for your big day ad wants to be a part of the planning.

Maybe you could give her a How to be A Bridesmaid type book and a cute card to formally ask her:)

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