Post # 1
I have one uncle, we’ll call him Uncle X who is quite obnoxious. I love him, he’s my uncle, and I think his heart is in the right place. But his favorite topic of conversation is himself or his “recent” divorce (5+ years) and his “cheating whore” of an Ex-wife. It gets old and really, not many people can stand to be around him for more than a few minutes.
I have had another uncle, Uncle A, who has emailed me no less than 3 times asking that I don’t seat him with Uncle X. I have said I can’t make any promises but I will do my best.
But honestly, I was planning on seating them together. They are brothers (I have 10 aunts/uncles who are all siblings), and it just works out with my seating arrangements that I have in my head. I could totally change things and seat my cousins interspersed with aunts and uncles, but that isn’t what I wanted to do.
I am also kind of annoyed that an UNCLE is making a request, that to me, is pretty trivial. I mean, dinner at the wedding is an hour. Can’t he just deal with it?
What would you do? Change the seating arrangements or just let Uncle A deal with it?
Post # 3
If possible, I would change the seating arrangements and put Uncle Obnoxious with some strangers – maybe he’ll have the dignity to keep his trap shut if he doesn’t know the people well enough to start griping about his ex.
Sorry you’re having to deal with grown men behaving like immature kids. But for your own sake it’s probably best to keep these guys separate to avoid any drama on your big day.
I wish you all the best!
Post # 4
I think do your best not to seat them together – they may be brothers, but you don’t know the extent of their relationship and their ups and downs. It may be that they really struggle to talk for an hour without arguing.
Post # 5
I would do my absolute best to not seat them together. I would do anything I could to make my guests comfortable, and obviously Uncle A would be uncomfortable seated with Uncle X.
Post # 6
@Sunfire: Haha, that’s the thing. Uncle Obnoxious (love this, haha) is clueless and has no filter around anyone. Which reminds me to let the bartenders know to feel free to give him watered down drinks as he’s more obnoxious the more he drinks!
I think I will do my best to seat them seperately. I do want all of my guests to feel comfortable!
Post # 7
@MissNachoLover: I would not seat them together. He has asked you and although you may think it is rude that he even asked you, I am pretty sure its ruder if you just ignore his request (sent three times!)…
Best of luck!!
Post # 8
I’m sorry but I would make the arrangements. It doesn’t matter if he is an uncle or a co-worker. If someone at your wedding requests NOT to be seated by someone, it is for a reason. You should take it into consideration so that whomever it is requesting something like this, doesn’t get sat by someone they can’t stand and is allowed to enjoy themselves. You will be sat by those you want to be sat by, you should give your guests the same curtesy. Besides, what trouble is it to you that the seating isnt “what you have in your head”? Your not sitting with these guests, it won’t actually affect you any. You understand what I’m saying?
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Clearly it is an issue for him– there could be a lot more drama/backstory that you’re not aware of; if it was a trivial request he would have asked once… the fact that he’s asked 3 times says this is a serious matter to him. Is it really that much to ask to make a quick adjustment? In the long run it’ll likely make the whole evening better if the 2 of them don’t have a chance to get into an argument.
Post # 10
From what I can gather, you haven’t yet drawn up or printed a seating plan. With that in mind, plus the fact that he has emailed 3 times, so obviously feels quite strongly about it, I really don’t see why it’s so hard to seat them separately.
Our guests comfort is important to us, and that for us includes consdiering who people would and wouldn’t like to be seated with. If anyone doesn’t get on great, we’ll be seating them at separate tables.
Post # 11
seat them at different tables. If Uncle A feels this strongly I think it would be a nice thing to do.
Post # 12
Ha…well with the day I’m having today if someone asked that request of me I’d tell them they can sit where I place them or not come at all. If I was in my right mind I’d probably figure a way to not sit them together. That being said, I haven’t started my seating chart so my opinion might very well change!
Post # 13
I would switch their seats I wouldn’t want him to not enjoy his dinner. With Ten aunts and unlces plus cousins in mix you have plenty of options.
Post # 14
If it’s too much of a hassle to not seat them together then don’t. They’re brothers (and adults) they can suck it up.