- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
I have been on here before about a similar situation with the same person. My FI lives in a transitional housing building, in another state than mine (NYC). He makes friends easily, even with women, which I have no problem with, generally. He also is the type to tell people about events that he enjoys in case they may enjoy it as well. He also suffers from Bipolar. Most people in his building have some sort of emotional or mental issues. One night he was in the lounge with about three others, saying how he has been going through the depressive state of his disorder. He blurted out that he was afraid to tell me for fear of losing me. The one woman who was there told him not to worry about it and that he was crazy for saying it. Flash forward to March, (this was in January). He took his teen kids to a robotics competition, and he asked some people from his building to come. This said woman did, as did another woman. Well apparently this woman hit it off with his daughter, and they exchanged cell numbers. A few weeks later this woman shows up at an exhibition for a TV show that I enjoy that he went to so he could get pics and a souvenir. He didn’t tell her about it, but his daughter apparently did. Then, she starts showing up places that he is at. She even texts him ALOT when he is with me. Finally, he told her to stop. She did for a while, then started again.
Well, two days ago he asked me to check on his FB page to see if a relative had sent him a response to a message since he doesn’t have comp access where he lives. Well, there was a “like” from his daughter on a video this woman had made, starring my FI! I was furious, hurt, humiliated. She had all these pics of him, taken in their building with her phone! She even had pics of his daughter! The title of the video was “Love Is In D Air!” I called him and told him about it. He was shocked, then told me that his daughter had been texting him for a few days saying this woman had fallen for him. His daughter even said that she wished that her dad could give this woman a chance because “she seems nice”. He told her no, I am in love with brendaray2009 and we are getting married. She said she fears her dad will leave her and her brother behind and he should be with this other woman since she lives in NY. Mind you, his “kids” are 20 and 18, she being the 20 year old. He informed her that I am moving to NYC and I have no plans to take him away.
He goes to confront this woman, saying we can’t be friends, the video was inappropriate, no more calls, etc. Well, this woman goes on FB saying she lost the best friend she ever had, she is depressed, and that she was only doing something “nice for him, and that his FI (me) was insecure, and that she doesn’t know how someone could live with, let alone marry, someone like that. She made a mistake, but it was no big deal, etc.” I also found she made ANOTHER video prior to it, so this was no mistake.
Did I overreact to all of this? I told FI months ago I thought she was trying to work her way into his life and have me shut out, but he said that this woman just wants friends. Now he says I was right, and he was terribly wrong. But am I being insecure? Friendship is one thing, but making a “love video” about my future husband is another. Do you think FI did the right thing? Also, his daughter posted on his FB that “people shouldn’t give up a friendship for something so stupid”.
I should say that FI is Puerto Rican, and so is this woman. I am white. His daughter and son are mixed race, since his ex is African American. The woman is African American Puerto Rican. I feel I am being judged because of my race, and I have never been anything but nice to his daughter.
Sorry so long, but I had to get this out!