(Closed) How would you perceive you M&FIL not giving a wedding gift?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Even if they didn’t contribute to the wedding, they’re sometimes quite expensive for family members.  New outfits, and extra meals out, and having to host out of town family members.  So that could be playing a role.

Also, how do they react to other weddings/giftsin occasions in the family?  Some people are just not that into weddings or good at choosing gifts.  Or maybe if this is a second marriage (I’m inferring this from the mention of a step daughter) they may feel like they already gifted him enough the first time around?

Did they least get you a card and act supportive throughout the process?  I wouldn’t read too much into it on its own, but if it’s just another example… maybe it’s something?

Post # 4
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My Mother-In-Law did not give me a shower gift and my Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law did not get us a wedding gift. Oh well. It’s their business what they spend their money on and I certainly don’t need anything from them. 

Post # 5
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think this depends on your relationship with them. If things are tense, or you sense that they may not be happy about the marriage, then that’s probably the reason for no gift.

Otherwise, there could be other explanations like PP mentioned. I do agree that it seems very odd for his parents not to give any gift at all though.

Post # 7
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’d ask your husband about it. Seems strange to me, but that’s something he will need to take up with them, not you.

Keep in mind, they do have a year, so it may be forthcoming.

Post # 8
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My in laws didn’t even give us a card and I was sad. At least they could have picked up one for my husband that said son on his wedding day or something like that.

Post # 9
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

^^ I agree. It is a little strange.. Not the wedding gift but the lack of thought unusual shower gift. I would speak to your Darling Husband about it.. come across as concerned and not “attacking”.

Post # 10
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d be miffed, too. But I’d also find it a little hard to be upset. 

Post # 12
46236 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Personally, no matter what the etiquette goddesses say, I find it weird for anyone to attend a wedding and not send a gift  of some sort according to their financial situation.

If the in-laws helped finance the wedding, it would be a different story. But they didn’t.

Post # 13
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Pupperoni:  Same here, no card.  They helped out a little with finances so I didn’t expect a gift/cash.  But my husband was pretty hurt they didn’t get a card.  I think the card to him was a chance to express their happiness.  No card makes him (and me) wonder if they were even happy?  It’s kind of weird.

Post # 14
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I could understand them not giving you a gift if they contributed to the wedding, as they didn’t contribute i think it is SO RUDE! It would be rude for anyone to attend a wedding and not bring a gift. I would be massivly pissed off and ask your Darling Husband what he makes of it?

Post # 15
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

My first thought was that she is being passive agressive… but you said she is lovely so maybe they are hard up on money? That is very odd and pretty rude too.


Post # 16
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If they’re paying for the rehearsal dinner or other things for the wedding, that would be one thing.  If not, it does seem strange.  Everyone’s finances are different, but even a card would have been lovely.

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