Post # 1
Finishing my hundred and something thank you cards and I realize that my Parents in law definetly did not get us a wedding gift. I definetly don’t think it’s necessary to give gifts especially if you’re on a tight budget-your presence is most important, but my MIL& FIL? They drop money on having family gatherings, a hundred or so on family poker night once a month, but not for this occasion. I could care less about a gift, just wondering if it’s a sign they didn’t love the fact we were getting married. They had/offered zero contribution to the wedding, and for my shower gift Mother-In-Law gave me a bathset with a shower curtain. She’s been to our house many times and could see our home is already deorated and we could never use a shower curtain-we have sliding shower doors. What is this? I am completely aware that I’m reading too much into this but that’s why I’m sharing it with the Bees. What would you think? To make it worse she talks aboout how my stepdaughter is going to have such a “lavish” quince/sweet sixteen party. mhmm.
Post # 3
Even if they didn’t contribute to the wedding, they’re sometimes quite expensive for family members. New outfits, and extra meals out, and having to host out of town family members. So that could be playing a role.
Also, how do they react to other weddings/giftsin occasions in the family? Some people are just not that into weddings or good at choosing gifts. Or maybe if this is a second marriage (I’m inferring this from the mention of a step daughter) they may feel like they already gifted him enough the first time around?
Did they least get you a card and act supportive throughout the process? I wouldn’t read too much into it on its own, but if it’s just another example… maybe it’s something?
Post # 4
My Mother-In-Law did not give me a shower gift and my Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law did not get us a wedding gift. Oh well. It’s their business what they spend their money on and I certainly don’t need anything from them.
Post # 5
I think this depends on your relationship with them. If things are tense, or you sense that they may not be happy about the marriage, then that’s probably the reason for no gift.
Otherwise, there could be other explanations like PP mentioned. I do agree that it seems very odd for his parents not to give any gift at all though.
Post # 6
nope first marriage for both of us.
Post # 7
I’d ask your husband about it. Seems strange to me, but that’s something he will need to take up with them, not you.
Keep in mind, they do have a year, so it may be forthcoming.
Post # 8
My in laws didn’t even give us a card and I was sad. At least they could have picked up one for my husband that said son on his wedding day or something like that.
Post # 9
^^ I agree. It is a little strange.. Not the wedding gift but the lack of thought unusual shower gift. I would speak to your Darling Husband about it.. come across as concerned and not “attacking”.
Post # 10
I’d be miffed, too. But I’d also find it a little hard to be upset.
Post # 11
I’m definetly not upset, it’s not like we need it or need their feelings to be a certain way, heck we’re already married. Just can’t help but wonder if this was a sign. They are lovely to us, just seems odd as she’s a very inolved mother always thinking about her children. My Darling Husband is an only son of 5 children. I thought she would be a little more…festive.
Post # 12
Personally, no matter what the etiquette goddesses say, I find it weird for anyone to attend a wedding and not send a gift of some sort according to their financial situation.
If the in-laws helped finance the wedding, it would be a different story. But they didn’t.
Post # 13
@Pupperoni: Same here, no card. They helped out a little with finances so I didn’t expect a gift/cash. But my husband was pretty hurt they didn’t get a card. I think the card to him was a chance to express their happiness. No card makes him (and me) wonder if they were even happy? It’s kind of weird.
Post # 14
I could understand them not giving you a gift if they contributed to the wedding, as they didn’t contribute i think it is SO RUDE! It would be rude for anyone to attend a wedding and not bring a gift. I would be massivly pissed off and ask your Darling Husband what he makes of it?
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
My first thought was that she is being passive agressive… but you said she is lovely so maybe they are hard up on money? That is very odd and pretty rude too.
Post # 16
If they’re paying for the rehearsal dinner or other things for the wedding, that would be one thing. If not, it does seem strange. Everyone’s finances are different, but even a card would have been lovely.