Post # 1
My Fi has been friends with a guy we will name Dale ever since they were sophmores in high school. Dale and i have always talked and gotten along, however after his words weeks later i am still quite upset.
My fi was texting him and dale was going off about how his gf is always picking fights. Some texts later he texts “would you ever cheat on (insert my name here)” fi replied (and i saw it) “no, i am happy where i am and who im with” then dale replies “yea me neither” meaning he wouldnt cheat on his gf
I feel furious because fi and i have been together for 4 years, lost our angel baby (his/her due date would have been today), and of course we are getting MARRIED in ten months, all of which Dale knows, SOO why would he ask such a thing >:( How would you feel?
Post # 3
I would not let this bother me, it was a question, not a suggestion and more likely than not, a small confession of Dale’s current state of mind and nothing else.
Post # 4
The happy news is that your FI said NO! He was probably just ranting and venting and didn’t mean anything by it
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
OOF. Well, I would have to say me personally, I wouldn’t be livid… I’d be terribly confused and probably a little bit insulted, that he would think there would be any other answer than NO from my FI. I mean, I would start to wonder why in the world he would think there WOULD be a reason for my FI to cheat on me.
But I feel like he was just venting/ranting and was probably upset, and he said a stupid dumb guy thing. Sometimes, I think guys can say things and not see the potential emotional harm to what they said, whereas we can (and DO.)
Post # 7
Yeah, I’m not sure why you’re upset about this. It was just a question. Now, if he had been all “Ugh, I would if I were in your shoes!”, or something after your FI replied, then that would be another story. But think this had less to do with what Dale thinks of you and your FI and more to do with what he’s thinking about his own relationship.
Post # 8
I’d call him out on it but I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it
Post # 9
I don’t see a problem for two reasons. First, it was guy talk, for your FI’s eyes only. Second, he didn’t suggest FI cheats, he merely asked if he would.
Post # 10
Sounded like it was just a question in the midst of an emotional moment and that he was actually looking for confirmation that your FI wouldn’t cheat. I wouldn’t take it in a “furious” way, he definitely wasn’t suggesting that your FI cheat or trying to lead him astray, and your FI had such a great answer 🙂
Post # 11
Yeah this has nothing to do with you or your relationship really. “Dale” was just upset and either trying to seek validation for either possible thoughts/actions of cheating (or something similar) or just simply venting. He would have asked any guy friend he was talking to that was/had been in a relationship.
Post # 12
I wouldnt really lose any sleep over it. to most guys its a harmess question. now if your FI answered differently or the friend kept pushing it and was being an asshat well that would be a different story but they probably already forgot about it and it would do you some good to try to move past it too
Post # 13
I would think it was weird and a little irritating, but I’d probably just be glad the answer was no…and that the question was “Would you ever” instead of “Remember that time…”
Post # 14
Don’t sweat the small stuff, men can be really dumb at times!
Post # 15
@paula1248: fi showed me, i wasnt snooping, not saying thats what you meant but js 🙂
Post # 16
Thanks for the replies, i guess i can be happy fi had the right answer at least