- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
@renwoman: Aw, my heart breaks to hear about the loss of your mom. It’s really great to see your dad wanting to get more involved with the wedding planning. Bear hugs!
I completely agree on keeping extra work to a minimum! I am getting the calligraphy down this Sunday — the artwork was completed weeks ago; if it’s not perfect, there’s always text wrap in MS Word, using handwritten fonts, as a back-up plan. The template’s actually quite easy — I just haven’t had the strength to continue planning with the invites to make the wedding “official”, so to speak.
It’s actually been nice to take a bit of a break, here and there, from wedding planning and remember as much cherished moments as I can, together with my FI — since we never had the chance to say goodbye to my dad. I was beating myself up because I was too busy to call home often — then, FI pointed out to me that something about my attitude wasn’t healthy and wasn’t a great way to honour my dad. And yes, you are right. I’ve been making an ongoing effort to connect more with my mom and brother — it helps. My brother suggested that I go see a grief counsellor, which I am seriously considering.
My FI is also taking the loss of my dad pretty bad. He was sort of blaming himself for waiting so long; he asked for my dad’s blessings four years ago. HOWEVER, I told him that it’s not his fault. Nobody saw this coming.
@dsurdam123: Hugs, losing a parent is never easy. I have been coping by imagining conversations with my dad. At first I thought I was going crazy, but after talking to family members who went through tough losses, it is a great way to honour their memories.
Likewise, KatB442, if you ever need to talk about planning a celebration after a loss, we’re all here for each other. 🙂 (Hence, I created this thread) I always find that sharing our own experiences help — grief is a complex process; there isn’t any timeline at all. After reading various recommended stories and articles on grief, I’m hoping to turn this into a positive experience: write about it, have a good cry; make time for activities which both my dad and I enjoyed together as a way to honour him, such as playing music and drawing/art. For me, whenever I play the piano, it becomes a great emotional release.
I promise to check back often on this thread. It takes a lot of courage, love and support from everyone close to you — to come to the unanimous decision of keeping any original wedding plans. My mother’s and her best friend’s words, “Looking forward to a happier occasion in June.” Of course, the support of people who understand the grieving process really, really helps too.