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How'd you know it was worth the distance?

posted 2 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
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    1.
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    daydreamwanderer       DC

    Every long distance relationship comes with a choice. A choice to commit, despite the distance, or to stay committed in face of it.

    So what was it for you, how did you know that this person was worth trying for, worth all the hardship that being in a LDR brings?

     

    For me, it was realizing that, regardless of how happy I was single, I would probably never find anyone who I could care more about than I did J, since we'd been friends for so long and were already so close, and who would care more for me - I mean, the guy came halfway around the world to pursue me! The real clincher though was when he expressed a willingness (which has since grown into a desire) to share my time here in China; to move back here with me after we get married. It blew my mind that such an amazing guy not only loved me, but was willing to follow me and be with me, and without a thought of asking me to give up this life and call that I love.

     
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    jesstagirl    February 20, 2010   Italy

    Oh, I like this question!

    My fiance is in the Air Force and I had a ridiculously cushy and oh, so fantastic, job across the country. For obvious reasons, he couldn't move, and I selfishly didn't want to give up my job and move across the country. We both knew it would ultimately be my decision about when we would finally be together. One day I realized that I was tired of just talking to him on the phone and seeing him once every two months. Luckily, he felt the same way and proposed around the same time. I quit my job and moved to Georgia to be with him. I should mention that the timing was perfect, because my oh, so fantastic job mentioned above is letting me continue to work for them from a distance!

     
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    daydreamwanderer       DC

    @jestagirl - that's AWESOME! I'm so excited for you that you're going to soon become an SDR girl! Yay!

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    I realized my life was a million times better with him in it, and I'd rather go years without him physically by my side, just knowing that someday, we could have that. I wasn't willing to quit school and move to be with him, and he was OK with that, too. It seemed like he could have given me an ultimatum about that and promised he'd take care of me, but instead he let me do my own thing and allowed himself to unselfishly be second fiddle while i finished my degree. Granted, he got deployed, so it would have been the same, regardless, haha.

    Every time we got to see each other it just cemented that we were good together. And every time we were apart, it just made me realize that we wanted to be together, even if it was someday in the future.

    Life is better when you get milk AND cookies, not one or the other, lol.

     
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    LatteLove    June 19, 2009   Chicago/San Diego

    I met my husband when I was dating someone else and almost immediately after I met him, I began comparing him to the guy I was dating...no one else would compare!

    It's not that I never had doubts...being far away makes it a lot easier to think that there is something else out there, but everytime time I would meet anyone else, they just didn't compare to what I was waiting for thousands of miles away!

    We talked about marriage very early in our relationship, and I certainly wouldn't have waited if I hadn't known there was a long-term plan and that it wasn't going to be very long term (a little over a year). When you get sad, frustrated, upset, I just remembered that we had a lifetime ahead of us, and I should enjoy my last few months of being single while I had them, and while I had my family and friends close.

    It was so worth it!

     
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    OttawaBride2011    May 21, 2011   Ottawa, Ontario

    I knew it was worth it when the alternative of not being together was completely unimagineable!!

     
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    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    Honestly at first, I didnt know it was worth it. We had only been dating 2.5 months before he left to go back to school. When he left, we left it at "lets see what happens". Once he was gone we talked multiple times every day and I found myself always thinking about him when I would go to a party and having no interest in any of the other guys there.

    He told me much later in our relationship that he knew once he came back in October for a school break (2.5 montsh after he left for school), he knew he wanted to see only me and no one else and that I was worth it to him.

     
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    gingerlex    June 25, 2011   UK

    I knew it would be worth it because he is the guy I've always said I'd be with. Remembering back to being 15 and chatting with my best friend about ideal guys, he completely fits the bill. I'm so lucky and I couldn't possibly be this happy with anyone else. He is only human and he does things that can irritate me, but they're what make him HIM and I love him all the same :). I also knew it would work because he said he just knew we were meant to be, if he's feeling the same I was definitely onto a winner!

     
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    His Barista    September 4, 2010   Spokane, WA

    The way he acted when we were just friends and I was having a hard time. He was willing to drop everything to help/take care of me. How could I not do the same thing in return?

     
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    daydreamwanderer       DC

    Aww! Yay :) I love hearing love stories :)

     
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    Ireland    August 7, 2010   Faulkton, SD

    I knew after he was the one after I left for 5 months abroad and he found a way to wish me good night every night.  That and after we were engaged I found out he conference called my parents to ask for my hand. 

    We have a bit of an unconventional LDR.  We are 9 hours away during the school year but I live with him during the summer.  We have done almost ever stage of LDR-ness there is from 9 hours away to across seas with no cell phones or internet and at each change of pace our strength and determination have been tested but we continue to try because we know that happiness is waking up to the other. 

    Less than a month left until I move!!!!!

     
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    JamaicaBride    May 14, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    I knew he was the one after our first conversation...no lie. BUT I figured I could actually live with him forever and build a relationship with him during our first major argument. It sealed it for me. The fact that we could both be hot steaming mad at each other and still fight FAIR, still give each other the time to express our individual views, to calm it down and talk the "sting" out of it...and then laugh about it afterwards let me know that I could live with this man for the rest of my life, that no matter how angry or upset he gets he will go out of his way to protect my feelings and OUR relationship. It was an interesting way to find out he was worth it...=)

     
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    mrsbee    March 5, 2005   New York, NY

    He didn't have a cell phone or a home phone!  He got a cell just to talk to me. The rest is history. 

     
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    daydreamwanderer       DC

    MrsBee! Hi! :) That's so awesome that MrBee got a phone ... but I have to ask, how did he ever survive without one before you!?

     
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    tea       norcal

    you know, i have no idea what possessed me to even consider an ldr with my guy. did you guys seriously think about it beforehand?

    but for your question, i realized that he was worth having in my life in some capacity when he told me one day that he was going to stop writing on his blog and get off of AIM. for some reason, i freaked and what he thought would have been a quick few minutes turned into over an hour of me convincing him not to disappear and admitting how sad that would make me and led to our very first phone conversation. did i think it would lead to our relationship? no, but i'm very glad it did.

     
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    RedTartan    December 2010   The beach

    I knew the first day I met him face-to-face...we watched Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and he didn't freak out at the botched-surgery scene. Most guys do (IF you can get them to watch the movie with you in the first place).

     
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    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    He just made me laugh everytime we talked and it was so easy to be with him that I couldn't imagine not trying.

    My life was WAY better with him as a part of it, and I couldn't imagine letting that go!

     
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    TexasGalah    January 24, 2011   Houston, TX/Queensland, Australia

    I can't put my finger on an exact moment, but there just came a time early on after we'd decided we were a couple that I realized I was on the edge of a very scary precipice, with wonderful possibilities on the other side, and it was time to take the leap.

    I leapt. I booked my tickets to go over and meet him. Then there he was at the airport grabbing me into this huge hug, crying and trembling, and he just couldn't let go. I think I was pretty sure then that I'd landed on my feet.

     
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    ONash      

    We started off communicating through an instant messenger. The first time we chatted we typed to one another for almost three hours. But I really knew it was different when he sort of disappeared for a few days and I panicked thinking it was my fault and realized how much I had come to look forward to our conversations. When he next sent me a message I was so relieved that I outright admitted what I'd been thinking. Turns out he'd been sick. Our playful fun message sessions started to happen every night at the same time without fail.

     

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