(Closed) How's the relationship between your kid(s) and long distance Grandparents?

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Commenting because I’m curious as well.

We currently live half an hour from my parents and 10 minutes from DH’s but we are considering moving to another state in the future. I suspect my parents will follow me to the ends of the earth, since I’m their only child and they don’t have much holding them down. But we’d probably only see DH’s family a few times a year and I think he’s concerned about that.

Post # 4
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Well…She is still a newborn but my dad lives in Colorado. He has not seem her yet and probably won’t for awhile. I am indifferent when it comes to him, so I suspect it will be the same with her.

Post # 5
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@loveknows:  Im curious as well because I live in the midwest and my (and DH’s) parents/families are on the East Coast. We are pregnant with our first.

However, my sister lives in NY and we were afraid her daughter wouldn’t love us/know who we are. We only see them once in a while throughout the year. What she did was talked a lot about us and has pictures of us on her walls. She said that every morning when her daughter was little and she was walking around the house with her she would stop at the pictures and point out who we are “That’s grampy, and nana, and auntie.” She also had a book made with our pictures and our names underneath it. Finally, we all sent her a book where we could record our voices while we read it to her (Hallmark has them) so she could know our voice. She is now almost 3 years old and everytime we see her, she definitely knows who we are and loves us very much. Hope this helps!

Post # 7
Member
441 posts
Helper bee

I don’t have kids yet, but I have four nephews who live about 3 hours away. I see them maybe every few months. Now, the thing I noticed the most is that it takes a long time for the baby/child to remember you if you don’t see them very often. So your child might have to get to know your family every time he/she sees them for a couple of years. Luckily now we have technology like Skype where you can have face-to-face conversations, which might help a lot.

Post # 8
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

In this day and age where we’ve got Skype, FaceTime etc, it’s not as bad (at least in our experience!). My nieces are halfway around the world from an uncle, auntie and their maternal grandparents and their relationships are great! My 17-month old niece took to them really quickly the very first time she met them in person and there wasn’t even much of an “adjustment” period… and this is a kid who’s normally very clingy/always looking for mommy. She recognized them from Skype and knew their names and everything 🙂

PG with our first baby and DH’s family’s all a long plane ride away! They’re not the type to talk a lot even over the phone, but I’m hoping they’ll at least want to Skype with baby because I do want them to have a healthy relationship, and i don’t want baby to see them as strangers when they meet! 

Post # 9
Member
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yep what anteater said there are ways of communicating with family far away.  Munchkin sees my parents more often than his other grandparents. Due to the other grandparents live in another state.  We try to skype, have him hear them on the phone and generally try to make an effort to keep lines of communication open for family not close

Post # 10
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My parents and sister are about 6 hours away in another state, so I’m worried about this as well. I don’t want them to feel like the “2nd place” grandparents since my DH’s parents live 5 minutes away from us. There is a really cheap 40 minute flight between our area and theirs, and there’s a city in the middle that might be an option too. I’d really love for our son to see them about every other month, but we’ll see.

Post # 11
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Although DH’s parents live in the same city as us (probably only a 5 minute drive away), they are very busy (work-wise, and social), and I’d say we see them maybe 3-4 times a month. My Dad lives about 3 hours from us, and we see him 1-2 times a month, depending on his schedule. He calls almost daily, though (he’s obsessed with DD, lol… I think since I’ve grown up, and gotten married, he now see her as his chance to do everything again… he raised me as a single father, and I think he misses our closeness).

Post # 12
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m a long distance Aunt (and a short-distance Aunt).  

Here’s what makes a difference:  lots of calls and acknowledgment of activities.  In today’s day and age that is much easier to do via FB, FaceTime, email, etc.  But, this means, as a parent, you have to communicate what’s going on to the family that’s far away.

Holiday’s together – not every year, but once every several years, the family will visit us for the holidays and spend a couple weeks together.  This really helped solidify the relationship, especially as the kids aged (around 6/7 they kinda forget who they are).

Pictures!  Make sure you have pictures of your family so the kids remember who they are too!

re: grandparents, your kids will likely be closer to DH’s grandparents but it doesn’t mean they won’t have a special bond with your parents.  Kids will always need their grandparents, no matter how far away they are!

 

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