Post # 1
Hi Bees. So, I feel as though my FIL (who i love dearly) is ruining my first Christmas with my hubster.
He bought some truck halfway across the country and he wants my husband (his son) to go with him to pick it up. And he wants to do this over Christmas.
#1. I’m annoyed because he has a habit of buying random crap he doesn’t need
#2. I don’t think its safe to travel cross country in the snow, during Christmas when all the stores and auto shops will be closed incase something happens!
#3. I really want my husband home with my on Christmas and I feel like my FIL isn’t considering me/my and my husband’s seperate family life.
What’s your oppion? What would you do?
Post # 3
okay, normally, I get angry irate when people complain about their SOs being gone for Christmas (hubby is a fireman, he’s gone for these sorts of things frequently!) but in this case, that’s annoying.. I understand being excited about a truck, but that is just weird, why can’t he wait three days?!
Post # 4
@ChuckNorris: Thank you! I want to tell my husband that it’s ridiculuouly stupid and scream NOOOOOOOOO! but I don’t want to act like a psycho either. ugh, dilemas.
Post # 5
@mrsbiddyf: My FIL has a similar attitude. I think it has to do with the fact that he was divorced before (15+ years ago) and has an issue with women…and it doesn’t help that he considers DH his best friend. I’d be pissed too and your DH should put his foot down NOW.
My exH let his family control our holidays b/c we never were able to have kids. Everything done had to be “approved” by his sister b/c she had a kid. It was one of the biggest reasons we got divorced…him not “seeing” us as a family and being separate from his family.
Post # 6
That is freaking ridiculous. I’m amazed that your DH did not immediately tell his dad he was crazy and that no, he would not spend his Christmas driving across the country for something that was not a huge emergency. It doesn’t even matter if he’s always buying crap he doesn’t need or not, it’s Christmas and your DH should be with you, his wife!
I am really hoping you update later today to tell us that your DH told him no, if I were you I’d be beyond pissed off if he actually says yes to this stupid request.
Post # 7
@mrsbiddyf: I don’t think you asking your husband to be home for your first Christmas together is an unreasonable request. I would actually flip my shit if that was suggested, personally.
Post # 8
@mrsbiddyf: I would feel that’s completely unacceptable! If your FIL wants a new truck he’s an adult and he can go get it on his own. How selfish and rude of him to even ask. That would totally piss me off beyond belief. I hope you can talk your DH out of going! Let us know.
Post # 9
I would definitely die down with your husband and tell him how important spending Christmas together is to you. I know holidays (especially religious ones) aren’t nearly as important to FI as they are to me. we had some problems our first Christmas together bout now that he knows how important those days and events are to me he’s been much better about it.
Post # 10
So he won’t be home to celebrate Christmas or this is happening before or after Christmas? If he won’t be there to celebrate Christmas I think you need to talk to him. Besides, doesn’t your FIL know there are blizzard conditions in the middle of the country right now?? There might be some areas where it will be illegal to be on the roads. I think the FIL needs to re-think things.
Post # 11
@mrsbiddyf: I’m with you, it’s not an emergecny, so your FIL can find someone else to do it or hey, here’s an idea: do it himself. Fly to where the trcuk is and get it, drive it home.
I say this as someone whose DH is often away at Christmas visting his family, but I’m fine with it and we’ve had decades of Christmases to be togheter by choice.
Post # 12
@mrsbiddyf: my opinion is it’s your husbands choice to go or not. So it would be him ruining your xmas, not your father in law. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be annoyed too but not at FIL.
Post # 13
If DH chooses to go across country for a freaking truck with his dad instead of spending it with you that is fucked up. You need to tell him that you want him with you on Christmas and his dad is super rude for even asking and not thinking of you.
Post # 14
I think you should talk to your DH – tell him you want to spend your first Christmas together! I would leave out your two other reasons as it’s easy for him or his dad to make excuses defend those. And I think it’s PERFECTLY acceptable to expect/want your HUsband home and he should understand that.
Post # 15
looking forward to your husband in time for Christmas and I spent with you.
Post # 16
I’d be super annoyed! I can see my FIL doing something like this….he doesn’t have a lot of male friends that he could ask to do something like this, so I can totally see him asking DH.
I was annoyed about a week ago because he told my DH they were going to be working on this old house every other Saturday for 3 months…DH told him no way, he could give him a day here and there, but he wasn’t promising more than that. I was irritated because my FIL knows that DH and I both work 40+ hours a week and Saturday and Sunday are pretty much all we’ve got.
LOL, sorry for my saga, I think we just have similar FILs!