Post # 1
Okay heres a little back ground info on “our” car. I’ve had it since I graduated high school. I am SOO very lucky that my parents still have me on their insurance policy and my dad kept the car in his name so everything would stay as cheap as possible. They pay for the insurance and we pay for the car payments. I take VERY good care of this car because I KNOW they cannot affored to have their rates go up. Right now my husband is obviously not on the policy so any accidents that this car might get into goes straight back onto my dad.
So far my husband has put a huge dent in the front passenger side by somehow crashing the side of the car into the basketball hoop in the DRIVEWAY, has had multipal “close” calls, and as of today rear ended someone in what I took as the McDonalds drive through with our toddler in the back seat. (although when my husband explained it to me he said something about hitting the front end of a car….I’m VERY confused about this!) Luckily no one was hurt but all I could think about was how irresponsible he has been with driving! You might think hes just a reckless driver but he actually the complete opposite. He’s a SUPER timid driver. Not confident what so ever in his driving skills. Hes the type the drives 25 in a 35 and compared to the typical male driver, he is very “old lady” like. I even had to convince him not too long ago that there IS a such thing as a blind spot! He didnt believe me!!! I hate putting him down so much with this but I’m sick and tired of his driving skills!
I usually do the driving everywhere. I definetly drive more “male” and defensive. It has kept be accident free for a long, long time. The man in the other car said that he might not do anything depending on what the severity of the damages are. This has made me worried sick!
My husband just got a promotion at work and we wanted to buy a new SUV, pay off the car we have now and switch the insurance to our names. I’m having second thoughts now….we are expecting another baby and all I can picture is him out with both of our kids, the new car and something happening to them. I cannot bare the thought of that.
Am I being to mean? My car isnt the first hes done something like this too. He ran one of his friends’ truck into a big round, tall cement block at a gas station which crushed the front end. This is just getting ridiculous. Oh what to do!?!?
Post # 3
AAA does driving lessons. Maybe you could look into that for him.
Post # 4
Send him to driving school? In all seriousness, you shouldn’t have your car on your parents’ insurance. It should be in your names and on your own insurance. It may be cheaper, but should your parents insurance company find out what you’re doing, it’s considered insurance fraud and they could lose their insurance completely. So, first order of business is to get your own insurance stat.
Post # 5
Ugh that would drive me CRAZY! I can relate a little bit because FI is slightly like that. Not with all driving luckily but with a few specific things he is sooo timid and it drives me nuts. I always try to explain to him: the safest way to drive is the NORMAL way because then your actions are predictable to those around you. When you’re sooooo overly cautious it is unexpected and is actually way more dangerous! Is there a reason that your DH is so overly cautious? Has he been in a lot of accidents or something?
Post # 6
I got annoyed just reading this so I don’t think you’re in the wrong to be frustrated. I personally believe it’s the timid drivers that are far more dangerous than the more aggressive drivers.
I’m not sure how you could help him be a better driver…it’s just supposed to happen naturally with time & experience on the road. How old is he? Has he had his license since he was sixteen?
Post # 7
@2PeasinaPod:I completely agree, thats why we want to have everything switched to our name. Which we will end up doing either way. I know we were suppose to do that once we got married and yes we are going to do that. This is all a HUGE mess! I’m on the cars policy. The car is just in my dads name. If that makes any difference…? I’m not sure what to do!
Post # 8
Being a timid driver is just as bad as being a reckless driver because you piss other people off who then try and get around you etc. etc. You definitely HAVE to get your stuff out of your parents name esp since this will fall back to him. You are a grown married women and its time to take on your own responsibilities… huband and his faults… send him to driving school… Id be angry as well… luckily this wasnt a bad accident but you have achild in the car…. youre justified
Post # 9
@MissFlipFlops: the insurance follows the car rather than the driver, so it’s ok when some other member of your family drives the car every once in a while, even when they aren’t covered under the policy. But, if he’s a main driver, that’s when things get messy.
Head out and get some quotes now. And if you went through some type of driving school, that could help to get you a discount on your insurance. Do you own your own house? If not, do you have tenants’ insurance? Again, if not, you should get some – having mulitple policies will also get you a discount on the insurances you hold. Plus, it will protect you should anything ever happen to your house/apartment. My younger brother moved into a brand new apartment complex and a pipe burst in his ceiling. All of his stuff was ruined, but he had tenants’ insurance, so he at least got compensated for it.
As for your husband, definitely see if you can get him some driving lessons. Being too timid is just as dangerous as being too aggressive.
Post # 10
I would just make some calls and ask about your situations. It’s free to ask!
Post # 11
@2PeasinaPod: I’m actually comparing insurance companies right now. Yes, I have went through driving school back in high school. I got my license when I was 16 and he didn’t get his until he was 18. So I have 2 years more experience on him plus I do most of the driving. Here in Michigan once you turn 18 all you have to do to get a license is go down to the Secretary of state (Michigans DMV) apply for a license and then take a road test. To me it seems wayyy too laid back.
We don’t own our own home but we do have tenants insurance. I have had my license for 6 years and have no accidents or tickets on my record. I REALLY hope that we don’t have to say that I was driving the car in order to keep the insurance company from really going after us. Since the insurance follows the car and not the driver I’m thinking it really shouldn’t matter.
I’m also looking up some driving schools too. I seriously cannot have my child in the car anymore. It doesn’t matter to me whether its with his father or not. This is just unacceptable.
Post # 12
This is a suggestion out of the norm, but has your husband been to an optometrist in the past few years? My FI has problems with depth perception that makes him extremely cautious with driving, even with proper corrective lenses. He won’t get onto the freeway because of it. He just sticks to in-city roads, even if it takes him twice the time to get where he’s going.
Yeah, sometimes I get frustrated with driving everywhere, but the few occasions I have been I passenger reminds me why I do the driving when we go out .
Post # 13
@MissFlipFlops: umm, you definitely can not say that you were driving. I’m an insurance agent and that is a huge no no. The person that your hubby hit obv knows you weren’t there, so if you call your insurance co and say you were, then that is insurance fraud, They could not pay the claim, which would then come out of your pocket, drop your policy, and get you arrested for insurance fraud, I can guarantee that no co will want you if you have defrauded an insurance co
Post # 14
The insurance follows the car, but the accident follows the driver. That’s how people get “points” assigned to their name and how insurance companies determine insurance rates.
I agree with what others have said about this being very very bad. If something else were to happen to your car, like it being stolen, and it wasn’t parked at the address listed on the insurance, the company could refuse to pay. You really need to get your own insurance, as soon as possible.
As for your husband’s driving, cut him some slack. I don’t see any issues with what you have said with how he drives. I think you’re being too hard on him. Accidents happen, sometimes we’re at fault, but other times we’re not. I guarantee (from personal experience) that you being critical is NOT helping him. And seriously, if you never “let” him drive anywhere, he’s never going to get any practice.
Post # 15
It’s very generous of your parnets to continue paying your insurance, but it seems like once you’re married with children it’s probably time to start taking care of that yourself, especially with the added risk your husband poses. Either that, or he should be buying his own car/insurance. I don’t think it would hurt for him to take driving lessons.
Post # 16
If he is already a timid driver, I don’t see how putting him down is going to help. I can only see it as making it worse and adding more pressure on him to drive the way you see fit. It also sounds like you put even more pressue on him by indicating that YOUR parents are paying for his mistakes. If he is getting a promotion, why don’t you suggest he buy a cheaper used car, and then get his own insurance?
I’ve been in far more accidents that FH. I don’t consider myself a bad driver, just unlucky. I’ve been hit at a stop light twice, rear-ended in a BURGER KING drive through, hit while going through an intersection when I had green, and hit by a driver who pulled out into my lane. It’s made me a much more cautious driver and luckily FH (who pays for our insurance) has never given me slack for it. If I had him on me all the time about how I was increasing our insurance rates, and how horrible a driver I was, I don’t see how that would help anything.