Hubby opposition to TTC?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

How long will it be before your Dh graduates? If it’s close, maybe he just has a case of the nerves going on. How old are you & Dh? I only ask because you said you feel too immature for kids, which could be an issue.

Post # 4
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Yeah, I think both people need to be on board when you are trying to have a baby. It’s one thing if it just happens, and maybe one side wasn’t ready, but if you are expressly trying, you kind of need his buy-in. Did you talk about timetables before you got married? I thinking waiting for graduation is a reasonable timetable…

Post # 5
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@ShabbyChicBee:  Was this discussed much before marriage? How old are you both? Only ask because you mention maturity and graduating. Depending on how old he is, he may not feel ready for the sacrifices and challenges that come with raising a child. 

Also there is a difference between wanting a child and being ready for a child. I understand you may get warm fuzzy feelings when looking at a child or the thought of being a mom, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the two of you are ready to have and raise a child. There is emotional, phsyical and finacial stability to consider when deciding to have a baby. Your husband may not feel you both are stable enough.

Regardless, it is worth having a mature, long conversation about your future regarding children and getting on the same page.

Post # 6
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It could be because he might be so focused on school that the thought of one more HUGE responsibility is overwhelming him. I think you should maybe lay off the baby/TTC talk and let him focus on school, then when he graduates let him (and you) enjoy the fact that he is no longer in school. I think after some time has passed then you could start with the TTC talk.

Post # 8
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I would chill with the TTC/starting a family talk. He’s obviously not keen on it right now, so there’s no use bringing up something he isn’t ready to deal with yet. Many ladies are ready looooong before their partners are. It’s all about being patient until both partners are ready.

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