Hubby's Friend's Brother KEEPS HUGGING ME >:(

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
4223 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Just put up your hands and say “I don’t like hugs thanks”. I despise hugs. There’s no time to mince words. As for not hurting feelings, he should be concerned about your feelings here. I feel like we are expected to be accepting that some people are just huggy. Well some aren’t. It’s not rude to like personal space. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  .
Post # 3
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

I’m a toucher. I put my hand on friends’ shoulders when I’m making a point, I hug men/women/people who reject gender binary on a daily basis, all of it. But we are all more than allowed to set our own personal boundaries and control our bodies in any way we choose. Next time he goes to hug you just put your hands up and say “Hey Mark, I’m just not a hugger. Not my thing, so please don’t. But I’ll high-five you goodbye!” It WILL be awkward the first time or two, but eventually he will get the message.

NEVER be afraid to express your right to physical boundaries, dear! If he’s genuinely a nice guy, he’ll be willing to respect them.

Post # 4
Member
2253 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You have 3 options:

1- sit by the door and run out as soon as class ends, before he gets a chance to come hug you

2- tell him the truth

3-accept the hugs, realizing that there is probably no sexual or malicious intent behind them 

Post # 6
Member
314 posts
Helper bee

I didn’t used to like hugs from anyone but over time I’ve had friends die and now it just feels like life is too short- if one small hug makes someone happy then so be it. I’d rather be forced into a hug then feel bad later if something happens and I never see that person again.

Post # 7
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Can you offer a fist bump instead? Maybe put some barriers between the two of you– like, a purse, or some books?

Post # 8
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

LittlePumpkin:  PPs already gave excellent advice. I just wanted to let you know that it’s spelt “boundary” not “boundry”. Not trying to be rude at all, thought you might like to know.

Post # 10
Member
1208 posts
Bumble bee

Just explain that you aren’t much of a hugger and then just be goofy and offer a fist bump instead. No need to be super serious about it because then it could be ackward. Just be goofy and friendly and offer an alternative. Don’t make it into a “thing”.

I work at a hotel and some how our entire front desk staff is huggers. All the guys and girls alike. We hug hello, goodbye, when people aren’t feeling well it’s CRAZY! It’s like our whole staff drank the coolaid. Its AWESOME! But I am also a hugger, lol.

Post # 11
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Yeah I would cut that out immediately.  I am sure he’s a nice guy, but it’s not cool if you are uncomfortable. 🙂

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