(Closed) Huge Dilemma and Can’t decide what to do :(

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You could just have a good sized break between the ceremony and reception. I personally wouldn’t have any problem driving an hour or so to a reception, especially if there was adaquate time between so I didn’t feel rushed. I wouldn’t give up my dream ceremony location just because of a reception drive.

Post # 4
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with kala way!!  I would go for it.  The people who truly want to be there for your day will make the trip.  I wouldn’t give that up!!  A little over an hour is really not that serious to guest who want to celebrate with you.  🙂

Post # 5
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Do you have a wedding website? You might explain your reasoning there.But the downside of that is you might get very few people at the ceremony.. which is probably not what you want.

IDK, I might grumble a little bit for a long drive to the party, but it would only be to myself and I would totally do it for a friend who wanted me at her wedding. Definitely agree with the PP about leaving enough time (also for yourself, if there’s going to be picture time between).

Post # 6
23 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree, I wouldn’t mind driving a hour or so as long as there was a long break, like 2 or 3 hours, that was it would give you enough time for photos and I wasn’t waiting for you and the wedding party once I get to the reception. If I had to drive an hour and then wait for the wedding party for another 30 or 40 minutes, I might start to lose my patience a bit.

Post # 8
132 posts
Blushing bee

Personally, I probably wouldn’t drive an hour for the reception.  Well, I guess it would depend on the specific circumstances:  where I lived in relation to both sites, how close I was to the person, how long both events were, etc.  I wouldn’t complain about it, I would just pick whichever was most convenient for me to attend. 

I have no idea how many people feel the way I do.  I guess I’m in the minority in the thread so far.  So you should do whatever is best for you, explain it to people as best you can if they ask, and try not to be too disappointed if people don’t make it to both events. 

Post # 9
1696 posts
Bumble bee


What do you actually mean by “cathedral”? The cathedral is the administrative centre of a diocese, which is a group of parishes of some particular Christian denomination — normally Roman Catholic, Episcopal, or Orthodox. There are modern small “cathedrals” as well as architecturally significant ones. Does it matter which denomination you use? Because really, if you feel the “main event” is the reception rather than the ceremony, it’s hard to imagine that you are committed to the cathedral of a particular denomination. And if that is the case, then what about …



Post # 10
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

im going to be honest. i have been to a wedding (cousin) that  was 90-120mins away and it was a pain in the butt and 3yrs later its what i remember most about the wedding – how we were driving roads we werent use to very late at night to ge thome and saying things about the choice of reception that inconvienced most of the guests – sorry but thats the truth

Post # 11
5668 posts
Bee Keeper

@loreleileigh: I agree. Unless you were immediate family, I probably wouldn’t drive an hour and a half to a reception. It seems a little ridiculous to me to ask guests to do that.

Post # 13
3264 posts
Sugar bee

From an etiquette point of view you can host an event where ever you want.  Guests can then accept or decline as they see fit. 

But personally, I would try to have them closer together. If they are so far apart then it means that people will have to drive there, and eliminates the possibility of taxis and limits the # of car pools.  This can lead to more drinking and driving.

Not to mention if it is too far, or there is too great of a gap, people may attend only one or the other. 

I personally, would probably decline to attend an event that was too far apart or had too great of a break.  Unless it was my mother or best friend.  A cousin or just a friend probably not.

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