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HUGE fight

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
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    missjyc    September 18, 2010   macomb, michigan

    and were 10 days out from the wedding!

    i don't even know how it all started... a lil argument over nothing, that got escalated, and then culminated into an outburst on both my and fi's parts. there were tears, mean words, and i think just an explosion from all of this wedding planning stress since we spent all wknd hashing out all of the final details.

    we cooled off and made amends and i'm looking forward to going home after my class to enjoy a home-cooked meal by my sweet FI.

    i guess this is more of a "weddings aren't always rainbows and butterflies" type of post. but definitely a true testament to why we belong together; when we come out of each fight a better individual and couple.

    agree with me bees? :)

     
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    stephanie63087    May 14, 2011   Fort Wayne, Indiana

    i feel like when i fight with fi and we work through it... it is just confirmation that we can make it through anything together!

     
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    sessaj    October 23, 2010   NL, Canada

    Totally agree with you.  I always thought a big fight like that meant the end... after our first fight FI looked at me like I was crazy when I said "I guess that's it then."  He compared me to Chandler from that Friends episode...lol.

    I really think that being able to disagree and argue and (unfortunately, but I think most of us are guilty of it) reacting to stress like that make a relationship stronger.  Sometimes you just end up arguing until you get to the *point* of what's bothering both of you, and when you can do that and at the end understand each other better and are able to help each other out, that's a great sign of an amazing relationship and it only helps make your connection stronger!

     
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    ccranetobe    August 14, 2010  

    totally agree!!

     
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    pinkbutton512    June 2, 2012  

    It's almost sad how planning a wedding ... a day that it suppose to be one of the most imporant days of your and your fi's life can cause so much stress! It can be bitter sweet. We are only 5 months into the planning and have had our share of arguments about the wedding but always work it out. I will be happy once the planning is almost done and we can enjoy being engaged before the wedding!

     
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    KLP2010    October 30, 2010  

    Agree'd. I agree with @pinkbutton512: we're trying REALLY hard to just ENJOY this process but it still get's stressful and I know we have rocky roads ahead... especially during those "fun times of the month" :-) The most important thing, is that you grow and learn and move on. 

     
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    Treasure43    September 18, 2010  

    @missjyc: I feel you date twin! This is such and exciting but extremely stressful time!  You'll come out stronger for it in the end :)

     
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    daydreamwanderer       DC

    Has your planning been stressful? I find when we're stressed, we get set off a lot easier.

    I'm glad you guys talked through it and came out stronger ! Good job :)

     
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    His Barista    September 4, 2010   Spokane, WA

    We had a couple of those right before. It definitley was stressful! I am glad you guys were able to work it out!

     
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    Ella1978    June 19, 2010   Cleveland, Ohio

    Ugh, pre-wedding stress.

    The point is you worked thru it, probably realized you are both stressed and a little irrational.  That's the important part.. you aren't letting it go and fester and build into something bigger.

    Glad things are okay!  You will be in SUCH a better place when the wedding is DONE!

     
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    Jenniferk6    October 1, 2011   Ottawa, Ontario

    This sounds totally normal to me! We've only had one wedding-related stress fight (over the venue, ugh), but 99% of it was about stress. We're over a year away! I can't even imagine the stress of being 10 days out. As long as you guys realize that what happened was more about stress relief than any actual major problems, it sounds like you'll get over it just fine.

     
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    missjyc    September 18, 2010   macomb, michigan

    thanks for your assurances bees...

    last night was definitely full of cuddle time and lovey dovey time. we'd talked it out the night before and said our make-up words in the morning; but nothing beats coming home to a big hug and kiss and more words of understanding (on both our parts; because we were equally at fault).

    it was definitely the build up of trying to get the last of our checklist completed. neither of us could even remember how it got so escalated... and we promised each other that we would try our hardest never to let the little things bubble up into a huge fight in our marriage.

    seriously, waiting bees - note for future reference; i truly believe that the 'engagement' period is THE true test of a relationship. it's when you're hit with real life topics of money, 2 families coming together, etc. that a couple is truly tested on how well they work together

     
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    picturemeurs    February 2012  

    I agree esp with the "waiting" test.

     
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    stephinPA    October 29, 2010   Reading, PA

    Oh man...I hate when stuff like that happens.  I'm glad you both sorted it out.  We also had a very similar experience not too long ago.  We haven't had an argument in MONTHS...and really nothing ever wedding related. 

    Jump back about 3 weeks.  A friend of mine has been helping us choreograph our first dance.  Mind you...very basic steps, nothing crazy.  I just don't want to be on the dance floor swaying from side to side.

     We had two practices with her and he did great!  But he wasn't convinced.  Then we were home on a Sunday and I started our song and thought we were going to practice in our kitchen.  This led to FI basically throwing a tantrum about the entire dance which escalated to levels that were not even on the map.  His voice was rising, mine was rising and then things other than the dance were thrown in...so not necessary.  So I looked at him and told him to no longer worry about the dance we'll not worry about it because one less thing to stress about it better for me.

    Then we didn't speak for 2 hours.  We've since made up and I've not touched on our dance for the past 3 weeks...until he did.  Since then, he's apologized profusely and actually told me he was an a$$h_l_ and really wants to do it...or something close to what we were doing.

    While I'm happy about it, did we really have to go through all of that?!

     
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    camrie    September 5, 2010   Louisville

    Don't feel bad. We got in an argument (over something really stupid) on the WAY to our rehearsal. It's just a stressful and crazy busy time.

    I think the most important part is the way you handle it. Letting it go and making up.

    Planning was a stressful, time-consuming thing for me. Of course it paid off as everything went smoothly and I loved every minute of it, but since the wedding it's been nice to have time to just be with my husband without worrying or stressing or making lists in my head.

     

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