Post # 1
Some background to begin: My husband and I live in Ottawa, ON. We moved here 2 years ago because he got a good job (not great), in his field… and I found a service job that is not at all what I went to school for. Right now I am working 5 days a week (about 45-48 hours a week) at my service job, and one day a week at the only job I could find in my field (8 hours a week). I am miserable all the time from working my full time job, which I hate, but there aren’t a lot of opportunities here for me because I am not bilingual (a lot of jobs in my field require biligualism).
My husband has been trying to find a better job in a different city so that I could have better luck finding a job in my field, with no luck. This past week he got a call from a good friend, saying that he will be sitting in on the hiring committee of a great job coming open in Edmonton, Alberta. At first I thought that this is great! A new city, and a new beginning. The more I think about it the more depressed I get. I am extremely close to my mother, and as silly as it sounds, it breaks my heart that if we move, I will hardly get to see her. I have lived in Ontario all my life, and the thought of moving across the country, and hardly seeing my family scares the crap out of me.
This new job would be an excellent opportunity for my husband. It would be a 50% pay increase, as well as managerial experience, and lots of room for growth. THis leaves me torn. It is awesome for my husband, could be better for me to find a job, but I would be leaving my family and friends, and starting a completely new life.
My husband has applied to the job, and his friend has told him that he will most likely get the position. Now, we are trying to decide if this is the best move for us, and I am completely torn.
Has anyone here experienced anything like this? What did you do? How did you feel about your decision?
Post # 3
Go for it and move. You can always move back if you don’t like your new life in Edmonton, but another good opportunity might not pop up if you stay where you are.
Post # 4
I say go. Like fishbone said another opportunity may not come up. Get your parents/family a webcam and teach them how to use Skype.
Post # 5
I say do it. I’m SOOOOO close to my parents…especially my mom. Like, I’m so close to my mom that if I don’t see her once a week, I’m in a serious funk. She’s my best friend.
That being said, I think you are in the perfect life position to move. No move is ever permanent. Just be sure to set up a visit before you move, and get Skype.
Post # 6
It does sound like a good opportunity, but with every opportunity at the end of the day it is what you make of it. If you move and don’t put yourself out there in your new life to make friends and make a life there for yourself, than yes, you find yourself incredibly homesick. My advice is that if you do decide to make this move, go into it with trying to maintain a positive attitude. Change is hard, but it makes us grow and much of the time we are better off for it. You may finally get the break you need in your career, make wonderful friends, learn something you never would have back home, and your husband may be in a better position to find the job he wants back in Ottawa if and when you do decide to return (after all, the move can always be undone if it really doesn’t work out). Maybe with your new job you’ll be able to work less, leaving more time for learning a second language in case you need it for the future….
With that in mind, I would also budget a trip back home within the first six months of the move, and make sure you have a “going home fund” you two save for so you can go home at least a couple of times a year.
Post # 7
Yep I did it and it turned out fine. I’m super close to my parents too and never lived more than 5 miles from them. I moved 12 hours away with DH for his law school scholarship. We’re still really close and I talk to them all the time. It hard for a month or two before you find good friends but it gets better. It was nice for me to find out I don’t need to be within 5 feet of my parents and friends to be fine. I learned a lot about myself. Like I said, I’m still just as close to my parents as I was, but I don’t feel as dependent on them.
Post # 8
I moved from Brampton to Thunder Bay, which isn’t out of province, but might as well have been! I missed my family like crazy, but seeing them made it that much more special (I saw them 2-3 times a year). On top of that, I learned so many more skills and made a ton of new friends and had opportunities I couldn’t have had in the GTA (ice climbing, ice fishing, saunas! It was awesome!).
Worse comes to worse, you can always come back.
Post # 9
One of the tasks of growing up is separating ourselves from our parents. I would encourage you to priorize your relationship with your husband. As you are mainly working in a service job, not the career for which you were educated, and you have said that the move to Edmonton would be a good thing for his career , I don’t think the move would be of any harm to yours.
If you choose to look positively on the move, it could be good for you too.
One thing I quickly learned when my ex used to get transferred every year, was that there are nice people everywhere. You will make good friends if you choose to. Or, you can sit at home and feel sorry for yourself.
You can always keep in touch with your Mom by phone, text and Skype.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Go for it!! Change is always scary, but your circumstances will never get better unless you go out and try something new. It sounds like this is such a great opportunity for your husband, and it could be a great chance for you to look for a job more applicable to your experience!
Post # 11
I know it looks impossible now, but do it!
I did a similar route and I’m still as close as ever with my mom and it makes the time we do see each other all the more fun and special!
Post # 12
Definitely go for it! I have to say, moving far away from everyone I knew (family and friends) was the best thing I ever did.
Post # 13
Definitely do it! Like PPs said, moves don’t have to be permanent BUT opportunities like this don’t come around every day. Use Skype, call often, schedule visits – you can still see and love them without living close by! 🙂
Post # 14
I say go for it !! I am VERY close with my mom too. But if you don’t like it you could always change it. You don’t know if you don’t try and I mean hell who doesn’t want more money. Good luck with the position and your decision.
Post # 15
I say stay. I don’t think any job is worth moving if you have to leave your family and friends behind. How are your finances? Could you go to school and learn the other language?
We made the same choice years ago, and it is really hard. We do have better job opportunites here but it is not worth missing all the little moments with my family and friends. Not at all.
Post # 16
Thanks for the insight everyone. To be honest, I have been trying to think of every possible reason not to go, and needed a push to see the positive in the situation. The thought of moving away is very overwhelming, and it is too easy to take the easy road and say no. I still don’t know what we are going to do, but I appreciate the support and advice 🙂