Hi Bees. I apologize in advance for this post. It’s going to be a little bit gross. So last night, I went to bed feeling sick. My fiance and I are visiting my family and sleeping in the guest room. Anyway, I woke up at about 4 am with terrible stomach pains and the horrible realization that I didn’t, um, make it to the bathroom. (In case it isn’t clear, we aren’t talking about barf, which would have been a little less awful.) So I had to wake up my future husband to tell him that we needed to change the sheets. His first reaction was “Ew!” but when he realized how mortified and upset and sick I was, he was much more sensitive. He helped me take off the sheets and put new ones on while I was in the shower cleaning up. But by that point, I was so embarrassed and feeling so awful that I knew I couldn’t go back to sleep. I’ve been crying for about 3 hours straight. I can tell he feels terrible but doesn’t know what to do or say. All I can think of is how disgusting this whole situation is and it feels like he’ll never look at me the same way again. All this after we had had a great night out, dressed up for dinner and drinks. Why does it feel like the universe was trying to knock me down a peg? Anyway, any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I’m too embarrassed to talk about this with anyone!
Sweetie, you need to breathe and realize – I know this will be tough – that in a year, you are both going to laugh at ‘the worst thing that ever happened to us’ and realize its just another one of those moritifying things that will make you bond even more. Hard to believe right now, I know, but trust me 🙂
Yes, something in this realm happened to us 6 years ago and we call it ‘the thing that shall not be named’ and nervously and embarrasingly laugh about it during one of the rare times it is brought up.
You know what? That IS embarrasing – but it’s not your fault, it wasn’t your choice, and your guy knows that. When you’re feeling better, you can apologize again, and make a joke about how he probably didn’t expect to have to help you clean up your poo for another sixty years at least, or about how you always expected to be changing babies’ diapers, not each others’, and everything will be okay.
First of all, ((hugs)). Second of all, I’ve been there, it sucks, but I promise he will still look at you the same way. My SO and I had been dating about 1.5 years when I was stupid and got really drunk and really sick. I can’t think of a less disgusting way to say this, but I was spewing from both ends…. He was there taking care of me the whole night. He saw me at my absolute worst, and he still loves me. Hell, he still thinks I’m the sexiest woman alive.
I really hope you feel better. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react. You apologized to your FI and cleaned the sheets. There is nothing more you can do. Your FI knows it was a mistake; feel better sweety.
awww it sounds like your fi is fine! dont be mortified! it happens to the best of us! last year i was so sick ot was coming out of both ends! literally! fi took care of me and never mentioned it again! although im sure he was grossed out a bit… like i said… weve all been there! 🙂 i hope you feel better!!!
@ddw:Thanks for posting that! I was just getting ready to go find that for her!
Oh hon. This is just the beginning! lol I don’t mean to make you feel any worse. I really dont!! The first time you do something gross infront of your guy is always the worst. I’ve been sick like that too. I had a baby infront of him, farted, burped, you name it in the past 5 years one of us has done it infront of eachother.
Okay a little story that might make you feel better! This just happened to me yesterday: My husband and I are expecting our second baby. Yesterday we had an ultrasound. I had to be what my husband calls “probed”. Its where they take a long stick like looking thing and stick it up your hoo-ha. Well the lady gets out her KY jelly, rubs it allll over the probe then proceeds to stick it up, well you know where and then tells me to push like I’m having a bowl movement! I saw the sheer look of horror and laughter on my husbands face. I wanted to die! Then when I didn’t push well enough the lady starts cheering me on. I wish I was dead by that point. THEN last night I thought he might of forgotten all about it and we started to get a little frisky. lol Well just as things were starting to heat up he starts cracking up and says “Now push like your having a bowl movement!” I could of killed him! Instead I just laughed it off and stopped our session. (well I obviously wasn’t going to reward him for that little comment!)
Point is, guys won’t and don’t care about those things. They DO forget, and they DO move on. You just had your first “moment”. Congrats!! Its now out of the way. 😉
hehe, dont be embarassed! If you plan to grow old together, there will BE ALOT more of that to come 😉
Don’t sweat it gf!! Accidents happen, and this obv beyond your control!! and he seems like he was a sport through it all, and if you reverse the situation as sympathetic you would feel for him feeling ill etc, you would have “ew” feelings too 😉
@MrsScottie: aww honey it’s TOTALLY ok. You guys love eachother and things happen. It wasnt your fault and this is a situation you guys can laugh at.
I think this is one of those things where its only a big deal if you make it one.
I love daydreamwander’s idea to make a joke along the lines of changing eachothers diapers when you are MUCH older or changing babies’ diapers.
Laughter and taking yourself and situations like this lightly is the key. I promise its going to be ok. Your FI still thinks you are amazing and sexy. You wouldnt stop thinking he was sexy and amazing if he had done the same thing. Poo doesnt stop love.
Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
I wrote about this in my “Secret Life of Bees” post but one time in college, I took such a big poop that I passed out cold in the bathroom and my hallmates called the EMTs, who arrived with sirens blaring, thus attracting the attention of the entire dorm. After being examined, the the Emergency guys announced to the entire dorm that I passed out “due to the size of the bowel movement.” WORST. MOMENT. OF. MY. LIFE.
So hopefully now you feel better, shit happens (literally) to the best and all of us!!!!
Youll be fine! Shit happens (lol) and sometimes it is disgusting, embarrasing, and makes you want to curl up in a hole and never come out! But guess what – we are human and it was something that you were not able to help. Your fiance loves you and it is not going to change how he feels about you or views you! I bet you could put on some sexy lingerie tonight and he would think youre as hot as ever! Everyone has something that has happened in front of their SO/FI/DH that they wish didnt – but its just a part of life. Youll be laughing about this months from now!
@MrsScottie: Sweetie don’t worry! I’m sure the combination of being sick, embarassed, and lacking sleep are all getting to you. The situation could be a lot worse. You just have to think, if this happened to your FI what would you think about him? Chances are you’d just want to help him out and not let him be embarrassed. He’s marrying you and loves you, so I don’t think he’ll think too badly of you because of this. I know it seems embarrassing now, but later on it’ll be a funny story. With years of marriage ahead of you I’m sure you two have plenty more embarrassing moments ahead of you. Just remember that your FI loves you for who you are and because of that he couldn’t possibly judge you for something that was out of your control.
breath……ok……whoooosa….calm…….. it’s not as bad as you think it is……..
That happened to me before – with my parents instead …… and a few years down the line, I promise you…he will hardly remenber……….
What I think you should do now though, it’s talk to him – tell him how embarassed you feel and ask for his feeling…and also make him swear secrecy ……. otherwise it will be soooo awkward for the next few days/weeks/months……
anyway….. good luck…. bad things happen…. but hakuna matata…… 🙂
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