(Closed) Humourous readings

posted 10 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2008

We’ve asked our dog-loving friend to read this poem during our ceremony.

Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog by Taylor Mali

First of all, it’s a big responsibility,

especially in a city like New York

So think long and hard before deciding on love.

On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:

when you’re walking down the street late at night

and you have a leash on love

ain’t no one going to mess with you.

Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.

Who knows what love could do in its own defense?

On cold winter nights, love is warm.

It lies between you and lives and breaths

and makes funny noises.

Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.

It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn’t like being left alone for long.

But come home and love is always happy to see you.

It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,

but you can never be mad at love for long.

Is love good all the time? No! No!

Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.

Love makes messes.

Love leaves you little surprises here and there.

Love needs lots of cleaning up after.

Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.

Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper

and swat love on the nose,

not so much to cause pain,

just to let love know Don’t you ever do that again!

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.

Because love loves exercise.

It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.

It pulls you in several different directions at once,

or winds around and around you

until you’re all wound up and can’t move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.

People who have nothing in common but love

stop and talk to each other on the street.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,

again, and again, and again.

But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.

And in return, love loves you and never stops.

Post # 4
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2007 - Radisson Hotel

Hug of war?

<span class=”MsgBodyText”> I will not play at tug o’ war
I’d rather play at hug o’ war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses
And everyone grins
And everyone cuddles
And everyone wins.

 

<span class=”MsgBodyText”>This Bridge’ by Shel Silverstein:

This bridge will only take you halfway there
To those mysterious lands you long to see:
Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fairs
And moonlit woods where unicorns run free.
So come and stay awhile with me and share
The twisting trails and wondrous worlds I’ve known.
But this bridge will only take you halfway there –
The last few steps you’ll have to take alone.

 

Eh..

<span class=”MsgBodyText”>’Permanently’ by Kenneth Koch

One day the Nouns were clustered in the street.
An Adjective walked by, with her dark beauty.
The Nouns were struck, moved, changed.
The next day a Verb drove up, and created the Sentence.

Each Sentence says one thing—for example, "Although it was a dark rainy
day when the Adjective walked by, I shall remember the pure and sweet
expression on her face until the day I perish from the green, effective earth."
Or, "Will you please close the window, Andrew?"
Or, for example, "Thank you, the pink pot of flowers on the window sill
has changed color recently to a light yellow, due to the heat from the
boiler factory which exists nearby."

In the springtime the Sentences and the Nouns lay silently on the grass.
A lonely Conjunction here and there would call, "And! But!"
But the Adjective did not emerge.

As the Adjective is lost in the sentence,
So I am lost in your eyes, ears, nose, and throat—
You have enchanted me with a single kiss
Which can never be undone
Until the destruction of language.
 

Post # 5
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2018

i’ve heard of people reading from The Velveteen Rabbit.

 "Real isn’t how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn’t happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand."

Sorry, thats a big chunk!

Post # 6
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2007 - Wynbrick Center - a historic mansion in my hometown.

SBH–that poem is fantastic!!! I think I need to print it and give it to Mr Blueberry…one of our nicknames for each other is "Love" (as in, "What do you want for dinner tonight, Love?") so it adds another layer of meaning to the poem for us 🙂

Post # 7
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2007

Hey there!  I was looking for the same types of readings, and I came across this poem which I’m pretty sure we’re going to use.  It’s a children’s book that is supposed to speak of parental love for a child, but I think it works just as well for a newlywed couple.  what do you think?

<div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”>how do i love you
<div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”>how do i love you?
let me count the ways
i love you on your very best 
and very worst of days<div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”><div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”>i love to see you laughing
and dancing in the rain
and even if you make a mess <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”>i love you just the same <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”><div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”>i love to hear you sing
i love to see you smile
i love the way you take each day 
in your own unhurried style<div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”><div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”>i’m happy when you’re happy
i’m sorry when you’re sad
and even though it may not show
i love you when you’re bad<div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”><div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”>i love to watch you sleeping
tucked away in dreams
i love to hear you whisper
all your future hopes and dreams<div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”><div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”>i love to watch you play<div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”>and all your silly ways
i’m sure you’ll never know
how much i love you more each day<div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”><div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”>how do i love you?
it’s impossible to say
for if i had a million days
and time enough for all the praise
i couldn’t tell you all the ways….
i love you 
<div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin: 0in 0in 0pt”><span style=”font-size: 8pt; color: black; font-family: Georgia”>(by <span class=”yshortcuts” style=”cursor: hand; border-bottom: #0066cc 1px dashed”><span class=”yshortcuts” style=”cursor: hand; border-bottom: #0066cc 1px dashed”>P.K. Hallinan)

Post # 8
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2007

gah, my sincere apologies for the above post.. i’ll post the poem again.

how do i love you?
let me count the ways
i love you on your very best
and very worst of days

i love to see you laughing
and dancing in the rain
and even if you make a mess
i love you just the same

i love to hear you sing
i love to see you smile
i love the way you take each day
in your own unhurried style

i’m happy when you’re happy
i’m sorry when you’re sad
and even though it may not show
i love you when you’re bad

i love to watch you sleeping
tucked away in dreams
i love to hear you whisper
all your future hopes and dreams

i love to watch you play
and all your silly ways
i’m sure you’ll never know
how much i love you more each day

how do i love you?
it’s impossible to say
for if i had a million days
and time enough for all the praise
i couldn’t tell you all the ways….
i love you

(by P.K. Hallinan)

Post # 9
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

bump!  Love these!

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