Hungover for the wedding

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Trippy1 has the right to be angry or is over reacting
    anger is justified : (660 votes)
    97 %
    Waaaaay over reacting : (19 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I would be very upset about this situation. He made a promise and broke it. He disregarded your feelings and that’s not ok.

    If the date on your profile is correct, it’s been a month since this happened. I think you need to turn this disagreement into something productive. It stinks that this will never be made right again (since the wedding passed). What do you want at the end of the day? Do you want an apology? If so, tell him that’s what you need. Is this symptomatic of a bigger problem in your relationship that needs to be solved (a lack of respect?) If so, you should go to counseling. I think you need to decide what you want from this so you can move on. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1646 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @trippy1:  I would have an issue with knowing my FI has a habit of breaking promises. My FI straight out tells me sometimes “I can’t promise that. I don’t make promises unless I know I can keep them.” Sometimes THAT hurts, but it’s good to have outright honesty as well.

     

    If I were you, I’d be angry. My FI has no desire to have strippers at his bach party so that’s not a concern for me. But where you made your feelings very clear and he agreed, I would feel very disrespected. This sounds like a deeper issue than just this incident, though.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2687 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

    @trippy1:  normally I’m on the bandwagon of the woman over reacting, but this is just fucking ridiculous. I would be furious at him. Not because he broke a promise, but the fact that he was a complete asshole about it. It sounds like he doesn’t care about your feelings at all, and his friends are even worse. he’s going out and there’s nothing you can do about it? Seriously? It’s too bad you already had your wedding, because I would have suggested you postpone it until you can figure out whether he’s going to keep being such a Dickface McGee or not. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    There is so much to be angry about in this story I don’t know where to begin.

    The fact that he sees himself as having done nothing wrong is simply mind-boggling. He missed the whole reception!!!! It’s one thing to have different opinions about things, but for him not to care that you’re upset… ack.

    I don’t know the ins and outs of your relationship, but this isn’t a red flag; this is a whole army of giant red banners. 

    I’m very much afraid there is nothing to save here. I’m happy to be wrong, but if your brother is saying this is an ongoing pattern of behavior… I’m so so sorry. 🙁

    Post # 8
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee

    You are completely justified in how you feel. 

    You considered this cheating and he knew how you felt about it from the get go. You even had a talk with him about it so there was no open interpretation about what would be crossing the line and what wouldn’t be.

    I’m concerned for you. Not only did he lie to you, break his promise, cheated in your eyes, and even after all of that he acknowledges he hurt you, but refuses to apologize or take any action to rectify what he did. 

    The worst thing is him throwing it in your face that this was your idea to get married. No one held a gun to his head a forced him to proposed, nor did they force him to say “I do.” I’m sensing some resentment from him that his freedom is now taken away, or that he feels like he has to report to someone now that he’s married.

    From his actions and words, and what your brother has said I’m guessing he hasn’t been a stand up guy throughout your relationship. I’m going to assume he’s always been this disrespectful. 

    Is this something you’re willing to put up with for the rest of your life? Because it’s only been a month of marriage and he sounds like he’s already being unwilling to work on it. 

    You can always get an annulment. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2687 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

    @trippy1:  You may overreact sometimes, but I don’t think that this is a situation of over reaction. I think there’s some serious issues that you guys need to address, probably in counseling. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2687 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

    I want to hear from the person who says you’re way over reacting. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    @petalpetal:  Yes! Look into an annulment!

     

    @mrspinesol:  And yes, I can’t really believe anyone thinks this jackass husband didn’t do anything wrong!!!

    Post # 16
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    Not to me, it doesn’t. 

    It sounds like you know this marriage is not right. Investigate the Catholic annulment (I know nothing about that). Investigate the legal/other kind. If those don’t work, get a divorce. No disrespect to your faith, but you simply can’t stay in a marriage with a man who has no interest in how you feel.

    Trust me: when you are out of this and with a man who really loves you, you’ll be… well, shocked at how good it can be. You deserve much better!

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