- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
Welp, I suppose I’ll dive right in…
My entire family lives on the east coast (FI and I currently do not) and they were pretty badly effected by Hurricane Sandy. My father’s office was smack dab in the middle of the hurricane and he wasn’t even able to see if it was still standing for just over three weeks. Thankfully, it is/was salvageable, and about five weeks later, he will be able to start working again.
It is for this reason that I have not brought up his ability to help with my wedding. I was going to wait until after the holidays (who needs that stress on top of all the other stress during this time of year)?!
Buuut…. my sister (who is quite a bit younger and still lives at home) has told me how awful things are at home. And it’s not the hurricane.
My father is also currently going through a divorce with my step-mother. And it is uuuuugly. My sister confided in me yesterday that she keeps demanding more money, he refuses to give it to her, and they both have started drinking heavily due to the stress. Thank HEAVENS my sister is a mature, self-sufficient young lady and is able to look past the pretty bad influence they are giving off; however, she has said she wants to come out to visit me just to get away from it all. Of course, dad turned this down, even when he okay’ed the idea just months ago.
So, you might say, “Well, of course he changed his mind; he’s probably in a financial crisis right now.” Perhaps, but it was decided long ago that she would use her Sweet 16 money to pay for the flight and I would (obviously) pay for her other expenses while she stayed with me.
Aaah, and that brings me to the Sweet 16 party. It was less than a year ago and thousands and thousands of dollars were spent on it.
So, I guess my questions are: How should I approach this topic with my father? Should I not say anything at all and wait for his offer (that will probably never come)? Am I crazy for feeling a little hurt that he would spend more on a Sweet 16 party than on my wedding? Am I being incredibly selfish for thinking about all this in the midst of a divorce/hurricane? Because I certainly feel this way.
Any advice is welcomed! Thanks for bearing with my long-winded story, Bees.