(Closed) Hurt 10.10.10 Bride

posted 7 years ago in October 2010
Post # 3
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

damn girl.  i feel for you and hope you have a beautiful and happy day.  my father also passed away a few years ago, and i was extremely close to not inviting my mother, who has gone on the record to say awful things to me just like what you typed above.  in the end i let her come out of just giving up, and to keep the family ‘happy’ (i think they just didn’t want questions from hubby’s fam about where she was, etc.).  lucky for me she behaved herself, but in the end i found that i did not need her there.  then again i had many other caring family members there from my side, and it sounds like you don’t have that luxury.  do you get along well with your fiance’s family?

if you want some advice: don’t feel pressured to surround yourself with people who don’t care about you or treat you like crap just for the sake of decorum or to save face or whatever.  if you really want a big wedding and you feel like you would look back disappointed if you elope, then have your wedding and enjoy it with people that make you happy.  if not, then go elope!

people have this tendancy to think that events like weddings (and oddly, funerals) have requirements that every person you know and are related to need to attend, even if you haven’t spoken to them in years, hate them, fear them, whatever.  this is crazy and it’s not worth driving yourself nuts over.  don’t give your ownership of your wedding over to people who treat you worse than strangers.

Post # 4
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m sorry this had to happen, especially so close to the date Frown My advice is to sleep on it, then let things marinate some more. Don’t decide to change anything while you are upset. Cry it out, hug your Fi, and just sleep.When you wake-up, you need to focus on the important things: how you are about to marry the love of your life, and no one and I mean no one can change or ruin that. A wedding is only secondary to what’s truly important – your love for one another.

You’ll figure out what to do after you’ve processed it all. *HUGS*

Post # 6
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Im so sorry you are dealing with this.As a personwho spends the vast majority of their life “being the bigger person”I have this advice for you! THIS IS YOUR WEDDING AND IF THERE IS ANY TIME IN YOUR LIFE YOU SHOULD NOT COMPROMISE THIS IS IT!!! Sorry for the caps but thats my advice! DOnt make any decisions while you are upset and DONT cancel the wedding because your mother is a crazy. You are not doing anything wrong and if you dont speak to your sisters there is NO reason for them to attend…especially if there is any active dislike amongst you guys. I hope this all works out for you and Im so sorry you had to hear such terrible things from someone who is supposed to care about you

As another PP said, people have misconceptions when it comes to certain events. they think more about how things appear and could care less about how they are(insisting you invite siblings with whom you dont speak) but dont let them get to you. this is the one time in your life where its ok to say…I hear what you are saying but we are doing it MY WAY. the ONLY person with say so on the giest list is FI…and thats it(Unless your parents are financing things which makes things more difficult….but i still wouldnt bend to pressure)

*HUGS* and Good Luck!

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