Post # 1
I really need some advice about what to do. I recently got married afew months ago and the morning after our wedding my maid of honour began telling me all the negative things that had gone wrong at my wedding. All she did was emphasize what went wrong throughout the day. She even made these comments in front of her boyfriend.
I was so hurt. I mean who wants to hear what went wrong on your wedding day on your first day married to your soulmate. She even went on to compare my wedding to other weddings she had been to saying that the bridal party should not have been seen and that she couldn’t find water to drink after the pictures. She did not once ask me how my first night was as a newlywed or that she was happy for me.
I don’t know what to do because she has been my bestfrined for the last 16 years and tjphe fact that her negative comments had me in tears onour first day as newlyweds has my husband very upset with her.He says he doesn’t respect her and is angry because she took our happiness away from us. We were even discussing how hurt we were on our honeymoon.
What do I do? Is she a real friend?
I know she’s frustrated because she really wants to get married and have kids but why take this out on me and become a critic.
What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
That’s pretty strange. Is it just this one instance of her being negative? If so, I would try to let it go. Maybe she was jealous or upset about something, but I woudn’t let it ruin the whole relationship.
Post # 4
Its tough to say. Why dont you ask her? Say “I feel liek lately you have been really negative about me and my recent wedding. Is everything OK?
People take their own emotions out on other people, and sometimes they dont realize it.
Maybe its jealousy and she doesnt know you are noticing it. Maybe she is sad she is nto getting married (its not the same as jealousy). Maybe she feels you have been distant and left her behind with your new marriage. Maybe she feels you have been birdezilla and is, in her own way, bringing you down a notch. Maybe she … the point is there are 100s of reasons. Ask her in a nice way before it ruins your relationship.
Being kind and straight forward surprises most people and gets you the most honesy response and allows you two to work it out.
Post # 5
I would just ask her, in a nice way, why she feels the need to put your wedding down. Yeah, maybe your wedding had a few hiccups, what wedding doesn’t? It is in the past and harping on about it doesn’t change anything except how you feel towards her. I would just let her know that you are hurt that she feels the need to criticize your special day in that manner (completely unnecessary) and see what she has to say about it. I think there is an underlying issue (maybe not even having to do with you) and if you guys are really good friends you should be able to talk it through.
Post # 6
i honestly don’t know why anyone would say things like that to anyone let alone their bf. is she normally that negative about things? it sounds like she’s a bit jealous and she’s just trying to cope with what she wants and doesn’t have yet.
just enjoy your marital bliss and disregard her negativity. i’m sure your wedding was wonderful.
Post # 7
Thanks so much for all of your comments.
I asked her why she was so negative and she said she was sorry and was dealing with personal issues related to her father. I am not sue I believe this.
I dont know what to do now because now my husband says he doesn’t want her around and doesnt respect her anymore. I am worried that this will put a strain on the relationship. I feel that she was jealous that she wasnt getting married and not even engaged yet.
Post # 8
I would just forget about it. You have spoken to her, and she has apologised.
Post # 9
I don’t think she is a good friend. To make u feel better, my moh cancelled on me a week before the wedding. I haven’t talkedton her since.
Post # 10
@faithdriven: Yep she is jelous. And her making you feel sh1t about your wedding is a way of making her feel better about her own life as she is obviously unhappy with her own life to treat you so poorly.
I had people do the same thing to me around my wedding and I turned it on its head and was happy as I was marrying a man who would never behave like this. Just be happy you have the man of your dream and that you have an amazing life!