- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
I am a regular Weddingbee user but I am undercover for annonymity’s sake. Be forewarned that this is me venting and I am probably being silly, but I have to get it out somewhere.
I have a “friend”, let’s call her “T.” I have known T for a very long time, and she tends to be a negative person. I actually stopped being friends with her for awhile because of the hurtful things she would say to me on a consistent basis. However, she is part of a larger group of friends so I inevitably see her every few months at get togethers that everyone is invited to. I no longer normally invite her to anything I plan, although I did invite her to our wedding as it seemed wrong not to when everyone else in the group was.
Let me preface the rest of this by saying that many of the people in our group have recently gotten married or engaged or had children, etc. including T. I have always made a huge deal over their life events. I have looked at countless photo books, videos, listened to stories, replayed the event with them, after the fact, etc. and I am happy to do it. I love events like this and decor and all sorts of stuff like that. I love looking at pictures. The other people in our group of friends are like this, too. Even T.
T has always had a problem with me. I don’t know why. I don’t think I ever did anything to cause it, but I swear she goes out of her way to upset me because she thinks I am an easy target or she can get a rise out of me or something.
The recent get together we had as a group is one of the first times we’ve all seen each other since my wedding. I was excited to go and talk about my wedding as it just passed and I thought I would at least get one get together where we could talk about something in my life. No one even asked me about it. The only reason it came up was because we were discussing something about another wedding we had been to and about families in context with weddings. I mentioned that one of the only things that bothered me about my wedding was that some of our family was not as enthusiastic as I wished they were.
Well, I suppose that I shouldn’t have said that as it opened up into T going on about how bad some of the speeches at our wedding were, complaints about everything from food to temperature to god knows what else, as I tuned it out after a bit. I was so upset. The other friends that were there were trying to combat what she was saying by not agreeing with her, but she has always been like that and it’s hard to drown her out so she mostly gets away with saying things
T spent the rest of the night (at least 3 hours) talking about how awesome the wedding of our other friend in the group was, let’s call her G. Keep in mind this friend got married a few years ago and we have spent numerous get togethers talking about how fabulous G’s event was. This never bothered me before at all and obviously has nothing to do with G as she doesn’t start the conversations. So T goes on about G’s wedding: how great the food was, how beautiful she was in her dress, etc. and nothing negative at all. She even told flat out lies and complimented things I KNOW she didn’t like because I was around her for G’s wedding and she complained about them constantly.
G knows that T upset me but barely acknowledged that I was hurt that no one discussed my wedding other than to say negative things about it. Which also upset me.
I know when you get married, you only get one day. I’m not expecting people to discuss it for the next 50 years and constantly praise me for it. I just thought I could have one get together, ONE, right after my wedding where we could spend five minutes talking about how fun my wedding was or how pretty I looked. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because my wedding was non-traditional in some senses (style, what I wore, some activities we did, etc.) But you know what, I had a great freaking time – the best of my life. And I am thrilled to be married to my hubby. I know that’s all that should matter, so why am I letting this bother me?
I feel like it’s my fault she said negative stuff because I mentioned being disappointed by the lack of enthusiasm from some family members.
Ugh, sorry for such a long post. Just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.