Hurt by some RSVP "No's"

posted 3 years ago in August 2013
Post # 3
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel you, girl. We had some surprising nos: FI’s aunt’s husband and son aren’t coming (but the aunt and her daughter are), and FMIL is like, “Well they probably have to work.” They can’t get a day off for a family wedding? With like 10 weeks notice (and 11 months notice from the STDs)? And then my mom’s cousin RSVP’d alone; her husband and stepson aren’t coming. I’m not close to them or anything, but…really? I see these people at every holiday. Whatever! Wish I’d known they had no intention of coming, since we could have invited some of FI’s close friends instead. >:(

Post # 4
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My best friend moved across the country 2 years back and I haven’t seen her in person since (We are both tight on money). She was going to fly back for my wedding, and we were soooo excited. But then life happened and she couldn’t make it. Super bummed 🙁

Gonna make it up soon though!

Post # 5
Member
1631 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@RheannaRaye:  I have almost an entire side of my family (Step-dad’s family) not even bothering to respond. 🙁 I feel ya.

Post # 6
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m pretty sure most of my family will come, but FI is already assuming most of his mom’s family won’t come. They aren’t local and he doesn’t see them often (although his family just went out to visit). It makes me feel bad that they might not come. I’m trying to be positive for him, saying that people make exceptions for weddings. But that’s not always the case!

Post # 7
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@RheannaRaye:  I know how you feel, girl! It’s like what the hell, we gave you AMPLE amount of time to find a sitter, get work covered, etc. Don’t let them ruin your day; because either way its gonna be perfect 🙂

Post # 8
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee

Just think of them as less heads to pay for, less money for you to spend, and more down payment/honeymoon/play money for you! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m hoping that some family RSVP’s no! We feel obligated to invite every aunt, uncle and cousin, even though we aren’t very close to some of them. If they say no then we can invite some more people who we are closer with.

Post # 10
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I expected most people to be away on holiday, so when people say they can’t make it I was kind of expecting it. Didn’t completely get rid of the sad feeling, but definitely helped.

Post # 12
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@RheannaRaye:  So here’s a feel-better story for you: I saw my grandma last night, and was talking to her about RSVPs. I mentioned that my mom’s cousin RSVP’d without her husband and stepson, only to find out that they’ve been separated since last year BEFORE we sent out our STDs! So I sent out an STD AND an invitation to that family, not knowing that he moved out last year! Nice of people to let me know, eh? No wonder my grandma asked me if said cousin’s older stepson and his wife were invited.

Post # 13
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

If you aren’t close enough to them to know that they’ve been separated over a year, I’m surprised you bothered inviting them in the first place.

Post # 14
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@AmyJCardiff:  Uh, it’s family that I see at every holiday? Since they apparently separated last June, I’ve seen them at four family gatherings–together–and have seen the older stepson and his wife a couple of times in addition to that. Pray tell, how was I supposed to know that they were separated when they’ve come to family gatherings since then? 

Post # 15
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@RheannaRaye:  It’s bumming me out, too, especially to those who like you said you gave ample notice to (as in a year over here)! I’m mainly bummed out, not because it’s my day and I want them to be there for me, but because we’ve budgetted to allow for a really nice meal, open bar all night, our favorite cake, etc.  I actually want to give my guests a nice night out!  But as my Mom would say, less money we have to spend! Haha  

Post # 16
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Definitely has been bothering me as well. I figured we would get more declines since our wedding is on a holiday weekend, but some of the “no”s definitely hurt.

 

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