Post # 1
I just read the post about “getting out of your chest” and thought about what recently happened to me… Although I am not TTC yet , gosh I am not even married yet I had to hear some hurtful comments from this family member.
She is a cousin, married for almost 20 years, with a daughter. When i was in a family reunion all proud showing off my ring she made 2 comments that really hurt me:
– One out of the blue; ” OLD people should not get married”. Plain and blank. I was in shock because the only person there getting married is me! And I am almost 40! I could not react. I didn’t say anything, just grabbed my plate and went for seconds…
– Then later, when we were all together around another cousin’s baby: “Oh, I can’t stand people that look they are the grandma of the baby and not the mother! people should have babies early in life also to avoid all the problems that can come with a late pregnancy”.
That was it for me… After that i left. I was so hurt. I talked to Fiance about ti and he said I should have followed up on her comments but I just couldn’t.
It hurt really bad, specially because I was not married before or had kids when younger because I DID NOT FIND THE RIGHT GUY!
I don’t know why she would do that to me… She has called me a couple of times since then but I just can’t talk to her…
Why would she do that? I thought she liked me…
Post # 3
My best guess? You were getting attention and she was jealous. Or she’s just a bad person.
Post # 4
I always remember Dear Abby’s suggestion re hwo to respond to comments like that.
” Why would you say something like that to me?”
Throw the ball back in her court.
If the comment came from someone you cared about, it would be understandable, but she is not the type of person who should be able to cause you pain.
Post # 5
She sounds revolting. What terrible things to say. I”m sorry you had to deal with that 🙁 I second PP’s suggested that she couldn’t stand the attention you were getting.
Post # 6
Some ppl just don’t know how to keep things to themselves. I’m 42 and just got married last year. That’s just the way it goes sometimes.
When you do decide to talk to her, I would let her know that her comments were hurtful. Love knows nothing about age nor does motherhood. Now most ppl think when your in your 40s your too old ,but honestly women were having babies in their 40’s w/out fertility treatments. Yes, it may have been a smaller % but Nature has Her way.
There’s a group of ladies 40+ on the TTC boards. Reach out to a wonderful group of ladies when you do begin the process.
Post # 7
She’s jealous of you maybe? I really don’t know why. Don’t be stress over it though. You’re getting married and you should be happy :-).