Hurtful RSVP-Advice on How to Handle?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

BagsnBooks:  I wouldn’t be approaching him. In fact, I would bet that he’s waiting for just that to happen. I wouldn’t be kissing someone’s ass who could be so nasty towards me. If that’s how he feels, let him sit out and regret it later. Because he will. How mean of him. It’s one thing to not attend, but to say the things he did isn’t just a decline, it’s a decline and a big fuck you. Terrible! so sorry OP.

Post # 3
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Honestly? It’s nice he was there for you in the past, but perhaps the friendship has run it’s course. If Bob responded that way to my wedding invite .. It’d be bye bye Bob for me. 

Post # 4
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Bob doesn’t sound like a very good friend or father figure. I would let it be.

Post # 5
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Can you talk to his wife to see what’s bothering him?  Is there something that upset him, or he’s just “Being Bob,” like you said?  

I’m not sue how much he’s been there for you but seems like he dosn’t really give a crap about you anymore.  Sorry.  I’d just write bob off from my life.  Sucks, but that’s what happens a lot with relationships of anykind.

Post # 6
Member
8518 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I agree with stardust. He’s probably waiting for you to reach out and beg him to tell you what’s wrong. I’d cut contact until he did some major (and I do mean major) apologizing. His loss if he loses you.

Post # 7
Member
4805 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

BagsnBooks:  I’ve known people like that before and been burned myself. You see them acting “weird” or mean or whatever to others, but not necessarily to you. And then, it’s your turn. I’d move on from him. He’s a pretty loose cannon and who knows if he’d show up or how he’d behave.

Post # 8
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Whaat!!?! Forget Bob. His loss, what a jerk.  Ignore him unless he apologizes (and means it), have a glass of wine, and go back to planning and enjoying your engagement and wedding.  

Post # 9
Member
6604 posts
Bee Keeper

Mental illness can really affect someone :(. I wouldn’t get too bothered by his poor response. If he wants to come, that’s great. If he doesn’t, I would just let it go. He does have a history of some non-cooperative behavior.

Post # 10
Member
6888 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Are you sure the attitude wasn’t meant for your mother, and not you?  What was the nature of their relationship? 

Post # 11
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

BagsnBooks:  Bob is a baby. Sounds like your relationship is one sided. If Bob cared he’d be there or at least would’ve sent back the RSVP. Dont waste your time on Bob since he doesn’t deserve a minute of it. 

Post # 12
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

His mental illness may be poorly controlled right now. Don’t take his behavior personally and have a lovely wedding.

Post # 13
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m very sorry. It sounds like he is not mentally right, and I would not pursue the issue further.

Post # 14
Member
437 posts
Helper bee

weird. maybe as a pp said, the attitude was meant for your mother.  were you there when she made the phone call?   bob sounds like hes not really in the picture these days – maybe his wife is over him being a father figure too? 

Post # 15
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

What are the chances his mental illness is out of control and he is getting worse?

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