Post # 1
…and I feel completely ridiculous dwelling on it, but can’t seem to get over it. I guess I just put so much thought into his gift and couldn’t wait for him to find it in his suite when he arrived at the venue on our wedding day. It’s not so much about the gift as the thought behind it…I wanted him to WANT to get me something, or just to write me a special note, something…
I’m not going to say anything to him about it, but it just makes me feel sad for some reason. And I know that it must sound so silly. Maybe I’m just hitting some post-wedding blues.
Anyone else’s husband do this? Please tell me I’m not alone.
Post # 3
@MDLH: Does he know about the whole bride and groom exchanging gifts thing? Sometimes men are clueless about things like that. I hope you feel better though.
Post # 4
Did you guys talk about giving each other gifts before the wedding? My fiance had no idea people do this. Guys don’t read wedding blogs like we do, maybe he just didn’t know that was a “thing.”
Post # 5
we didnt do gifts ? wedding was enough money to spend for my taste.
Post # 6
DH had NO idea that gifts were to be given between the husband and wife.
Post # 7
That’s a silly thing to worry about!!! Also…I didn’t even know we were “supposed” to give each other gifts until coming on this site. He probably didn’t even know he was “supposed” to…
Post # 8
& many guys dont know to do so.
Post # 9
Mr. 99 and I didn’t but I get why yor sad….hug!
Post # 10
We agreed to not give gifts, but when I brought it up, DH had never heard of such a thing as the bride and groom giving each other gifts. He said, “ok I will give you half a wedding, and you can give me half a wedding!”
Like others, I’d never heard of the bride and groom giving a gift till I found this site!
Seriously lots of men have never even heard of giving their bride a gift, and personally I find it a bit overkill. DH (everyone’s DH) has already put a ton of thought, energy and emotion into the day. It seems a bit awkward to add another gesture of love on top of it.
I’d try to let this go.
Post # 11
i’m not expecting one. first, we don’t spend money without the other person knowing because we share finances. second, he doesn’t even know that’s a thing people do.
i’m pretty sure that your fiance probably just didn’t know this was a gift giving time.
Post # 12
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Many couples don’t exchange gifts. Did you discuss with him that you wanted to give each other gifts? If not, it seems unfair to hold him to an expectation you never told him about.
Post # 13
I know, he probably didn’t know about the whole bride/groom gift thing. Maybe I’ve spent too much time on wedding sites and watched too many romantic comedies. I seriously feel so stupid being sad over it, but it just made me feel bad. I’m trying to let it go, but just in a funk.
Post # 14
My husband didn’t get me anything but it didn’t really bother me. As a general rule, i try to make my expectations for things clear. It would be wonderful if guys were just super romantic and thoughtful on their own all the time, but in my experience that is just not realistic. So if something is important to me (like I really like getting cards, whereas his family never gave cards so he never thought of it), I just tell him.
Post # 15
Seems like a simple miscommunication. Try not feel bad. You guys must not have discussed this in advance, how probably had NO idea you were supposed to be exchanging gifts.
We talked about it before our wedding and agreed to save our money toward the honeymoon rather than buy each other gifts.
Post # 16
As others have said, a lot of folks don’t know about this “custom”… and the number of men who would know is probably pretty low unless a woman (Bride) tells them.
I think this is one thing that a lot of couples discuss prior to the Wedding, so both of them are on the same page (Gifts vs Cards vs Romantic Letters)
If you didn’t talk to him about it, he probably didn’t know… and so didn’t realize “it was a thing”
He probably has no idea he disappointed you…
You could talk about it now… but probably pointless, as it will only make him feel bad, and nothing he could do / get you now would make up for “that moment in time”
My best advice for the future… let him know your expectations when it comes to BIG Events / Holidays. He cannot read your mind. Guys are kind of clueless when it comes to Gift Giving for the most part… so any hints, help, info (wish list) you can provide with the more details the better has been my experience for the most success… so as not to disappointed / have feeling hurt.
Hope this helps,
EDIT TO ADD – First Wedding (1980s) we didn’t exchange anything… I don’t think either of us knew about this custom. This time round… I’m considering it, strictly BECAUSE I want to do something special for Mr TTR (seriously considering a pair of engraved cufflinks or a money clip with the historical family crest). Would kind of show him that I am PROUD to take his Surname and us become a “family unit” (kind of significant I think when you are Encores)