Husband doesn't buy me flowers .. First world problem

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

No, I agree!!!  And he doesn’t have to enjoy doing it, he just has to do it because you enjoy it. Little things matter, and are appreciated, but often missed. I would talk to him- and say, look honey, just know that it makes me really happy to get flowers, and it’s a small thing to ask. 

Post # 4
2878 posts
Sugar bee

Be patient, FI bought me my first flowers after nearly 2 years together, LOL ! I always hinted at him that I liked flowers, that this girl in the movie was lucky to get flowers, whenever I saw a florist : ”oh look, there’s a florist here”. We joked around, but he got it. He waited for the right moment and offered me a beautiful bouquet. 🙂 When he saw how happy that made me, he told me he definitely planned on buying more, and now he’s the one pointing me flowers whenever he sees some (to notice where to buy them, to know which one I prefer, etc.). 

Could be that, but also, just leaving a small message to you. That’s the kind of tiny detail I always appreciate and that makes my heart melt – it doesn’t involve any spending, just a thought and a few nice words written on a piece of paper for me to read when I get home. 

Post # 6
2878 posts
Sugar bee

@aquastar:  Do you, on your side, still seduce your husband with little details like that (love letters, small surprises) ? Just an idea, if he doesn’t get it, maybe take the initiative from time to time. When he sees how nice it is to receive affectuous attentions like these, it might convince him to do the same for you. 🙂

Post # 7
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I didn’t get my first bouqet of flowers until I was in  hospital getting major surgery and that was seven years into our relationship. 

Post # 8
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I love getting flowers and I know what you mean.  DH had flowers sent to me at work, in a lovely red vase for V-day just before we got engaged.  Not one flower since.  So this year I took out the red vase and sat it on the dining room table, on a white table cloth, with red heart cookie cutters around the base.  I thought maybe the hints were too subtle and hopefully this won’t be. He mentioned how the vase looks weird with no flowers in it and then went on his merry way.  I’ll have to let you know if it works or not lol. 

Post # 11
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Haha, some guys are bad with stuff like that (my DH is one of them!). I’d probably start picking up your own flowers, then moon (in front of him) about how much you LOVE them, and how HAPPY they make you!

If direct “I would like flowers” doesn’t work, maybe that will!

Post # 13
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@aquastar:  So many men are like this. I know how you feel. FI does so much for me and buys me other things a lot so I would never complain. He did buy me “just because” flowers twice, a long time ago and I remember how amazing it felt. There’s something about knowing that he’s thought of you and did something nice just because he loves you. I also get that we don’t want to have to ask them or remind them that we like these kinds of things… we want them to just know.

I feel your pain, as I am sure alot of other women do.

Post # 14
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@aquastar:  lol – FH and I have been together 9.5 years and he has brought me flowers ONCE.  I complain about it all the time – half joking, don’t really care, but it would be nice.  He brought me home flowers 2 weeks ago because THEY WERE FREE.  There was a convention at his work, they were going to throw them out, so he brought them home for me so I can’t say he’s never brought me flowers (I can say never BOUGHT though).

He does other sweet things sometimes – not as much as he used to, but that goes both ways I guess.

I feel your pain girl!

Post # 15
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@aquastar:  you gotta train em lol.  But seriously.  I expressed to my FI how much of a difference just a single rose would be on a random day.  He has since done it twice.  The first time was just because and the second time was last week when I was feeling down and he noticed when we were talking via texting.  Prior to that, no flowers, ever.  

Post # 16
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@aquastar:  You aren’t wrong for wanting him to put some thought into being romantic and showing you some attention. Some people see flowers as a waste because they inevitably die, I wonder if he feels the same way. Like he was going to get you flowers to show off at work but now that they’ll just be sitting at home he doesn’t see the point. Either way, he should want to get you flowers because they make you happy. Maybe buying yourself some flowers will show how special they are to you.

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