Post # 1
I’m not sure if this is the right place to put this, but I was wondering if anyone has any experience with a husband who doesn’t like/won’t wear his ring?? He liked it when we picked it out, but they had it made and when it came back it seemed more narrow than he remembered (he couldn’t actually try the store on one because it was too small)… Now he doesn’t wear his ring unless I badger him… When we were engaged he said he didn’t want a ring and didn’t plan on wearing it, so I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised, but when he found this one and liked it so much in the store, I thought he might actually wear it so I’m kinda bummed… I also didn’t realize I’d like seeing him wear it as much as I do…
Post # 3
When it came to picking out my ring DH did it all himself. I didn’t evek know he was proposing. He’s always said that “it’s up to the guy”.
When it came time to pick him ring, we did it together online, but he wasn’t sold with the one I liked – although that is the one we got. When it came in, he didn’t like it. I pretty much told him “suck it up buttercup, I didn’t get to pick my ring”. He wears it, but he doesn’t think it’s that comfortable. Funny enough, it’s a little too big and so we figure he’ll just wear it until he loses it and then we’ll get another one. I’m not too worried about him not wearing one. My dad never wore one, many of my friend’s dads never wore one. My BFF’s husband doesn’t wear one.
In your case, I’m not sure what exactly you can do. You can flat out tell him that it makes you angry/upset when he doesn’t wear it. Is it a dealbreaker?
Post # 4
@starfish0116: “Is it a dealbreaker? “
A dealbreaker? As in would she divorce her husband because he won’t wear his ring? I’m sure that’s not what you mean, but I’m not sure what you mean….
And I would just ask take him shopping for a different one.
Post # 5
Just go shopping for a different ring. They make comfort fit bands that might be a bit better, also it does take some time to get used to wearing a ring daily. I never wear jewelry except my e-ring and it took a few months before it didn’t feel weird. I still don’t wear it unless I am leaving the house. Maybe you can have a compromise like that?
Post # 6
I also say go shopping for a new ring.
I’m letting FH pick his ring but I also know that he’s probably never going to wear it. He never wore any jewelry of any kind until he got his class ring his senior year. He wore that for a few months and never again so I don’t expect him to wear his wedding band much either.
Post # 7
Yeah I’ve offered to take it and have them make it wider (they can make anything custom) but he said “no I don’t care that much” so that failed… It’s not a dealbreaker but I’m surprised by how much I like when he wears it and I wish I could explain that to him so he’d wear it haha
Post # 8
@Zemerald: I mean like, is it something that you are willing to let ruin your mood and be a constant sore spot in your marriage?
I guess I don’t know what kind of advice the OP is looking for? I”m not trying to be rude in any way, honest. It seems like he just doesn’t want to wear the ring, and probably really never had any intention of wearing the ring, and is usuing the excuse that he doesn’t like it to not have to wear it. Obviously if she badgers him all the time and it isn’t doing any good, I’m not sure what else can be done?
OP, have you specifically told him “honey, I’m really upset that you won’t wear your ring. I love seeing you wear it, it means a lot to me, and I’m extreamly bothered by you refusing to wear it.”?
Personally I don’t see the issue, because I’m someone who is very active and I often don’t wear my rings. Plus like I said before, it’s something I’m used to seeing as most of the men I know didn’t wear their rings.
Post # 9
@starfish0116: I didn’t take it as anything bad… I guess I don’t even know what advice I want, maybe just to complain about it or hearing from people who’ve actually gotten their husband to wear theirs haha… I have said something very similar to that and he said “do you really want me to wear it? I can I just don’t like wearing it…” and then he looked all sad and I backed down…
Post # 10
@lazybee123: So from there I guess you just need to decide how important it is for you to have him wear it. If it’s super important, you should bring it up again and don’t back down. Tell him if it’s really that uncomfortable you need to go shopping until you find a ring that he likes and will wear.
Post # 11
I understand how you feel. It would really bother me if after we’re married, my FI didn’t wear his ring. He’s not a jewelry fan either. We actually haven’t gotten his ring yet, so I know it’s going to be an extensive process when we finally do.
Maybe, like the other ladies have suggested, you could try getting him a different ring. He might be more comfortable with one he could try on before buying it.
I have a friend whose husband hates wearing any sort of jewelry. She was so upset that he wouldn’t wear his ring. So, without telling her, he went and got a tattoo on his ring finger to look like a wedding band! She was actually really happy he did it! Definitely unconventional, but it worked for them.
Not saying your hubby should do that though! lol. 🙂
Post # 12
I’d be offended if my husband didn’t wear his wedding ring. I pluck my eyebrows, wear high heels and comfort wise I despise high heels. It’s only fair that he learn to cope with something like that.
Post # 13
What does he dislike about wearing a ring so much?
eta: oops. Just saw someone else mention tattoo ring.
But yeah, it’d bug me if he didn’t wear/have something that shows he’s married. How would he feel if you wouldn’t wear a ring?
Post # 14
Weird. I’ve never known any man to NOT wear his wedding ring. My boyfriend said he will wear one now and continue after we get engaged AND married. BUT he does like jewelry so I guess that’s why. I wish i had something comforting to say or advice other than to just talk to him and not back down this time! Good luck!
Post # 15
@lazybee123: Maybe he just doesn’t like wearing rings. It happens. A lot of cultures don’t wear rings. Are you worried that it conveys less commitment or something?
DH now loves his ring and I was really surprised. If he didn’t want to wear it I don’t think I would be that concerned because I know it doesn’t doesnt diminish our commitment. That’s just me though.
Post # 16
@lazybee123: Yeah, some guys just don’t like wearing rings. I wouldn’t get too upset over this. Yes, in your ideal world he would wear the ring but does him not wearing the ring make your marriage any less valid? Of course not! So maybe look into some alternatives if it bothers you too much and try and find something that he will enjoy wearing.