Husband doesn't want to start TTC this month…

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Charlies_Angel:  Maybe his reaction comes as a result of him being told that he needs to stop doing something that he enjoys (drinking). What’s your reasoning behind asking him to lay off the drinking? I daresay plenty of couples are able to conceive without purposefully altering alcohol intake.

Post # 5
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Charlies_Angel:  Eh, I think you’re overdoing it here. Drinking does not equal being unhealthy. It seems to me like you don’t really like him drinking and you’re using TTC to try and get him to stop. Realistically, you don’t know that alcohol will affect his sperm count and I think it’s unfair for you to use that as a reason until you see that actually happening. Why don’t you wait until you start TTC and see how it goes before you start trying to eliminate things that could have no bearing on it anyway. 

Post # 8
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Charlies_Angel:  Lol, alrighty then. You made this post because you’re upset that your husband is not yet ready to start TTC. I’m just offering his perspective on why that might be the case. The way you went about it was a bit controlling and probably off-putting to him. I wouldn’t want to TTC either if that’s the way the topic was broached. But good luck with that.

 

Post # 9
Member
752 posts
Busy bee

@Charlies_Angel:  While what you said may be true, the reality is that you freaked your husband out by basically curtailing his behavior.  Also in that he probably heard you when you said you’d get off BC now, but to really hear you and emotionally be ready to start TTC, well, I think for men it’s a whole different ball game than for us women who have baby fever.    

I think you have to use moderation with everything, and if that means he wants a glass of cognac now and then, so be it.  

Also, TTC is stressful enough…most couples don’t get pregnant during the first cycle.  So don’t think it’s going to happen right away, and don’t stress him out either.  Hopefully it will happen for you sooner rather than later, but in the meantime, try to go easy on him.  He needs to alter his behavior in his own time, when he’s ready.  (unless he’s out shooting heroin or something extreme like that!)

Post # 10
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Charlies_Angel:  I know its disappointing to have your TTC plans delayed, but just take a breath and enjoy the moment.  And enjoy having sex off BC – it felt different for me!

Post # 12
Member
752 posts
Busy bee

@Charlies_Angel:  Aw, good luck!  It’s so hard waiting when you’re so ready, isn’t it?  

I hope the best for you guys when you start trying…either now or next month!     🙂

Post # 13
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That blows… But I didn’t get my period for almost a month after I went off BC, so there’s a pretty big chance it wouldn’t have happened this month anyway!

So I wouldn’t worry–unless he does the same thing next month.

Post # 14
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Don’t put too much pressure on your husband. By making him change behaviors (especially things that are fun or relaxing for him without being dangerous or unhealthy) this soon in the TTC game, you may be shooting yourself in the foot.

Hubs has to orgasm for this whole thing to work. He can’t get in the mood if you put too much stress and pressure on him. It also makes it hard if he starts to think you only want him for his sperm instead of being attracted to him. 

Don’t turn this into work when it doesn’t need to be. You haven’t even tried yet… you could be a perfectly normal and healthy couple. You may be lucky enough to be able to conceive when TTC is still fun and full of love. 

Don’t turn this into a stress filled, unhappy, scheduled work tank when you don’t have to. There are plenty of women here who have passed that point.

Don’t become one of them if you still have a chance at happy TTCing.

 

(sorry… this went from a regular comment and trailed into a bit of a lecture/rant… but i’m leaving it here)

Post # 16
Member
2174 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You’ll need some time to allow your cycle to return to normal after BC.  Take it easy and start charting to make sure you know when the best times to BD are.  Revisit the issue with your husband, maybe not so much from a prohibitive stance, and explain to him exactly what you were thinking.  TTC needs to be a joint effort, not something one of you is totally into and the other one resents.   Good luck!

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors