Husband extremely unhappy about my pregnancy

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I have no advice…but sending you postive vibes your way Hugs* Oh hun Im sorry to hear this. I really hope things will work for the two of you. 

Post # 4
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m so sorry :-/

Post # 5
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@hspw714:  Your husband sounds like a dick!  Worrying that you won’t love him anymore/enough and that you won’t get your body back?? Is he serious?!


I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.  Hopefully it’s just nerves at discovering he’s going to be a father?

Post # 6
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

“He is worried I will love the baby more than him”

Can I punch him in the face for you? Comments like that just make my head spin. Ever seen the movie “Waitress?” That is all I can think of…

I wish I had advice. I’m all for being pro-choice, but I don’t think you should terminate for any of the above reasons. I just see a man who needs serious councelling.

Post # 7
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Can you live with the fact that you had an abortion, with a child created by you and your husband, and be okay with the mental consequences? 


Post # 8
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m not going to mince words. Your husband sounds like an ass. Some of his excuses remind me of that movie “The Waitress”, where her husband made her promise not to love the baby more than him. He is also worried that you won’t get your figure back after the baby? Does he have a perfect body? Are you going to both have perfect bodies for the rest of your lives? There are a million valid reasons to not have children if a person or couple chooses not to have children, but worrying about maintaining your perfect body isn’t one of them (especially since it’s not you, the owner of the body, that is worried about it).

Unplanned pregnancies are very often stressful, but if I were you I wouldn’t do anything rash until I fully knew how I felt about the situation from all sides. It might help to speak with a  counselor at Planned Parenthood etc.

Post # 9
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@hspw714:  First, were you using protection? Trying to prevent pregnancy?

After I hear the answer I will voice my opinion.

Post # 10
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsHS:  planned Parenthood is not unbaised.

Post # 11
43 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

Oh, wow. So sorry to hear you’re going through this. I would be heartbroken if this happened to me, it would be such a dealbreaker. Even though we are only 23 and 25 and if I hadn’t been sure my FI didn’t want kids, we wouldn’t have ever gotten engaged, because it’s something I want that is non-negotiable. I can’t imagine what youre going through. My instinct is to think: if not now, at 32 and financially stable, then when? I believe there is never really a truly “perfect” time, and if he is suggesting termination… well, that seems a bit extreme to me. Let me clarify, I am utterly pro-choice, but it does nonetheless seem like a very clear sign that he will never want kids. 🙁

ETA: I have to agree with PPs that your husband’s worry about loving a baby more than him is shockingly immature, as is his worry about your figure. I’m really sorry to word it so bluntly, but I was incredibly angered on your behalf by these two things!


Post # 12
2501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@hspw714:  Take your husband out of it. Do you want kids?

do NOT terminate the pregnancy if you do not feel comfortable doing so. That is my only advice. If you decide to terminate make sure it is 100% your decision and not influenced by him. 

Post # 13
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

wow your husband is being an asshole. All of his reason are selfish and only benefit him. He is worried about you not getting your body back? gimme a break, whats going to happen when you naturally age and get saggy? This is a really bad sign. When i first found out i was pregnant the first words to come out of my husbands mouth were, “we cant do this, you have to get an abortion” which to me was a slap in the face since we were “trying”. We are now divorced and i have the most beautiful girl in the world. She has changed my life completely and for the better. I am hoping for you that this is just a little phase hes going through, maybe hes still in complete shock, it is a lot to take in. but please dont terminate just because he wants you to. It is your body, it is your choice! 

Post # 14
5968 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@hspw714:  worrying about your figure coming back and that you will love the baby more than you love him makes him sounds like a total dick. Sorry : these two things alone would be enough for me to think twice about even staying with someone like that. Sounds controlling, insecure, shallow and basically selfish all around if you ask me. Seems to me that you really do want children. I wouldn’t terminate the pregancy and think it’s going to help the situation, you will most likely resent him after that if you chose to do it knowing its only because he doesn’t want the child. This is one of those things that can’t really be a compromise in the end, its one way or the other.

Also it seems as though he’s full of shit because you said you guys started “pulling the goalie” meaning there was something actually done and changed to start actively trying for a baby. So he knew what was up, this wasn’t a misunderstanding, I don’t see how he meant just talk about it again in a few months if he was willingly  having unprotected sex with you. If this was an oops baby than maybe, but from what you posted its sounds like he willingly “pulled the goalie”.

Post # 15
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree that your husband sounds like a big ol douche…  That you wont get your body back… wow… 


he seems more worried about him, him, him… If he wasnt ready to be a father then maybe he should of been more catious.. 


Im sorry that you are going through this, and dont have a supportive husband to celebrate such an amazing time with..

Post # 16
42157 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your husband doesn’t want children and has been too scared to tell you so he lied.

I am sorry you find yourself in this predicament. One would have hoped that at his age he could have been honest with you before he married you.

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