- 3 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
A lot has happened to me over the last 6 months. My little brother took his own life exactly 6 months ago today. His sudden death shook my whole family up, and I ended up being diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder that was exacerbated by the tragedy. I threw myself into my job because I’m the “power through it” type of person, and I burned out within 6 weeks. I had to take a doctor-ordered leave of absence and was subsequently squeezed out of my job by the HR director because the company couldn’t “accommodate” my medical issues.
I took a part-time job as a waitress near my house, and it’s pretty much all I can handle right now. I’m not well enough yet to work full-time.
My husband told me that we could afford for me to work part-time because all the signs pointed to his job being secure.
Well, think again.
He got laid off, very suddenly, about a week ago. His last day will be 3 weeks from now. When I found out, I had such a bad meltdown that I nearly ended up in the hospital.
He’s been networking for some time now but there’s been no sign of a new job for him on the horizon. Things start to look promising and then they fall through. When he first got laid off, he told me I had no reason to worry because he was totally confident he’d have a new job before his old one ends in 3 weeks. As the days go by and nothing materializes, I’m feeling more and more hopeless.
We just got into a huge fight about it. I mentioned my growing concern to him, and he told me that I’m sabotaging myself by “always fixating on the most negative outcome possible”. I just don’t want to delude myself into thinking that everything’s going to be fine, especially since he’s been “looking” for a new job for almost 2 years and absolutely nothing has come of it. I’m not walking around telling myself that we’re screwed, but at the same time, I don’t want to look like a fool by telling myself that everything’s going to be fine, and then being majorly let down in 3 weeks if things don’t work out.
This is all complicated by my anxiety disorder. It’s harder for me to feel confident in things that haven’t happened yet. My husband is also not the best at reading situations. I’m also worried about how he’ll take it if he ends up unemployed after his job ends. He’s been walking around like that’s not a possibility, and I’m concerned that he’s not preparing himself for it, however unlikely it might be.
I’ve been googling positive stories of people getting jobs after sudden layoffs, but it’s not helping me much. I’ve done all that I can to help him network, and I give him plenty of space and free time to job-search. I’m just having a low moment now, and would love some advice on how to cope that’s a little more helpful than “just keep your chin up.”
Thanks. Fingers crossed.