(Closed) Husband job searching

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
5985 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@marjojo: I dont think you are being too tough on him but you also need to be supportive. both DH and I are in the IT field and we have both been very fortunate. I landed an amazing opportunity right after graduation (got super lucky) and my job is in very high demand right now.  DH is WAY smarter and way more talented than me but his career is moving a bit slower. He got a computer engineering job out of college but his co got bought out and he got laid off. he was out of work for about 6 months anywho…it was really hard for me during his “time off” for that 6 months. I did not understand what was taking so long. we did fight a little yes but nothing too bad.

he even thought about going back to school (he is 30 btw) to be a NP or Dr (he was pre-med before switching to Computer Science). I told him that I would support him no matter what his decision but that he could not slack! he needed to start school that next semester but he never did. He then starting getting more serious about jobs in his field. Now he is doing IT freelance and consulting work (and also writting a book). I did not like this idea at first because it is not “safe” but it works good because I have a great job and I am the one carrying the benefits so its not a big deal. 

Post # 4
Member
5985 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

hit submit too quick…sorry

I just wanted to add…Good luck to you both!!! Oh, and if your FI or you want to ask me questions about the IT field you can PM me. 

Post # 5
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

The only thing that I would add is that if he does not have any/ many college classes completed, it really isn’t absolutely necessary to know 100% what you’re going to do if you’re starting a bachelor’s degree.  At most universities, you have to take basically a years worth of “general education” credits before you graduate.  That gives you a little time to figure everything out.  However, he will need to get his application into the school, figure out financial aid (if necessary), etc soon.  Granted, some people start classes for their major their freshman year, but it isn’t always 100% necessary.

My husband has an associates degree in an IT field and is finishing a bachelor’s degree in a business/IT field. (It was a 2+2 program, hence why he has an associates degree.)  He works full time in the IT field and really likes his job (and they pay part of his tuition).

Concerning the bay timeline…. if he’s pursuing an associates degree, he may have finished the degree and be settled into a new job by the time you’re 30.  For a bachelor’s degree, that probably isn’t very likely. 

Edit: Forgot to mention that I’m biased…. I would love to have a child now, however… I personally don’t think it’s the end of the world if a child is delayed until early 30’s.  I am finishing a doctorate degree and considering post-graduate training, so that’s really the timeline I see myself and most of my colleagues following. 

In terms of supporting your SO through a career change… I would definitely recommend pushing him to set his own deadlines instead of you setting deadlines for him.  (Ex. When do you think you will you decide if you want to start college classes?)  Also, encourage him to reach out to people who already work in the field as well as the university to discuss career options with an advisor.

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