Post # 1
So, after deciding that even though we wanted to have the VR just be the two of us on the beach, we happily moved forward with our lives. I didn’t want to plan the VR so soon (it would have been next year in June), I wanted to concentrate on our December visit to Kauai and the upcoming holidays. Things seems so calmed down and I thought that everything was over. I just wanted to relax with my husband and watch crappy television and eat pizza
So, a week ago my husband comes home upset. I hugged him and asked him what was wrong and that I couldn’t help him if he didn’t tell me what was wrong. He told me.
He will be deploying next year in August.
I am still in shock. Every time that I think that I am ok with his going next year, I am not. I am going to be supportive, helpful and compassionate to my husband. I will try to be strong but Bees…I am going to be ok right now but once he goes, I know I am going to fall apart. My mother wants me to go back and live with her during his deployment but honestly I want to stay in MY home. This is the house that my husband and I planned together and I am going to be in a community that will be supportive. My family doesn’t really understand how it is and I am grateful for their concern but I am going to stay.
I am taking it a little hard right now. I am sorry if I am blathering on. It’s just I feel so sad and scared. I know that I am going to be ok but its the process, the quiet,the worry and just missing him so much it will hurt. It’s our first deployment and I will try the best I can to be there for him but I am so damned upset that he is going.
But please, no matter what small things your fiance/husband/boyfriend does to annoy you…just hug him real tight.
Post # 3
Fiance has done two tours overseas, 1 to Iraq and 1 to Afghanistan. I totally get what you’re going through. But you know what, it’s not the end of the world. You have to continue on with your life. I would suggest NOT moving home for the deployment. I’m living at home for a few months until the wedding and I’m already so annoyed and even though my parents mean well, they really stress me out and get on my nerves. You don’t need the added stress of that.
Anyways, keep your head up and enjoy your time together until August. You never know, things could always change between now and then anyways.
Post # 4
*HUGS* I really applaud you military bees, I don’t know how you do it, but you’re the strongest women I know. Best wishes to both you and your hubby.
Post # 5
Mine’s leaving next year, too.
It will be okay. It’s scary and painful, but things will be okay. Cry it out, spend as much time as you can with him, and be sure to write him and send care packages when he’s gone.
I’m sorry you have to go through this. *hug*
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Why don’t you let your mom come visit the first week or two if she can? That way you won’t be completely alone at first. Definitely keep busy by working or volunteering your time with an organization. Sitting around the house worrying about him is not good for you.
Post # 7
My SO is deploying next summer. It is a hard thing to deal with but I try to live in the moment right now. You are stronger than you think.
Post # 8
I’m sorry to hear that. It must be very difficult. I honestly can’t imagine.
Post # 9
You’re in my thoughts. Best of luck.
Post # 11
@Doralise: I wish I could say I understand how you feel, but I don’t! Your post brought me to tears…I get to see my DH every night but I wanted to thank you for posting and especially your last line. I take for granted what other bee’s don’t get the privilege to have! Thanks for the reminder and I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!
So sorry you have to go through this…
Post # 12
Big hugs to you! My Fiance isn’t in the military – but he works on the road and is gone for 2-3 months at a time. And that’s tough. I can’t imagine him being gone for a whole year. Even bigger hugs to you!!!
Post # 13
Thanks everyone for the support and helpful replies. I am trying to just make things get a little easier. The part that is hard is that my husband and I did talk about what would we do if he got deployed, the financial things and how I would pass the day like volunteering at the library and other plans but now it went from being talks and plans to action. It’s hard but I know as long as we stay strong it will be fine.
I made it clear to my mom that I will not be leaving my house. I invited her to come and stay with me for a week or two and that I would pay for her to come. That is the only way I can get her to come.
Thanks you guys. Thank you so much. It is so nice to know that the Bee is a place were we can vent, cry, tell jokes and when times get hard, there are posters out here who are so nice.
Post # 14
*hugs* You both will get through it.