Post # 1
Hi bees –
My new husband is a homeowner. We talked before marrying about him adding me to the mortgage and having it officially be my house, too, but now that we’ve finished the name change process and other documents (life insurance, adding me to his car insurance, etc), he’s reluctant to add me to the mortgage.
He said he asked a friend who married a woman with her own home. They only added him to the mortgage because they refinanced to do some remodeling. Otherwise, the guy said he never would’ve been on the mortgage, and he was OK with that.
Now my husband thinks that since we’ll only be in this house for about 5 years, we should just buy our next house together and keep this one in his name.
Bees, I don’t know what to do – I know nothing about home buying and all the documents that come with it. I have excellent credit – but, no job since losing my teaching job in late May – and I came to our marriage with much more money in savings than he has.
We’re a “forever” couple that isn’t even considering divorce. But there’s still that nagging in the back of my mind that if he’s reluctant to add me – WHY?
Part of this likely has to do with my own insecurity over my lack of employment. I also have watched him really drag his feet when it came to combining bank accounts – he still hasn’t closed his account or contacted HR to begin sending his checks to the new account. I’m not a nagger, and he’s usually not a guy who needs nagging, but I feel like that’s the only way he will continue with the bank account and mortgage.
Post # 3
It’s expensive to add someone to the mortgage. My husband bought our home years before we met and it’s only in his name. You have to refinance to add someone and it’s time consuming and expensive. I’m totally ok with this, though. We aren’t planning on being here more than another year or two so the next house will have my name on it. It sort of bothered me for about a day, until I realized I didn’t want to fork over thousands in closing costs just to put my name on a temporary home.
Post # 4
Don’t sweat it. You can co-own the next house. Like the abover poster said, it’s complicated and expensive.
Post # 5
Leave it in his name, don’t worry too much about it, and let it go. When you do buy a house together, make sure you’re both on it.
Post # 6
I don’t know a whole lot about this, but if I remember correctly, I read a post like this on the Bee a while ago. From what I can remember, it’s not as simple as just adding your name to the Title. I believe it was a huge long process that wasn’t worth it from all the hassle…especially if you only plan on being in the house for 5 years. I want to say the other bee would have had to actually refiance to get the spouses name on the title. So, completely different from adding your name to insurance policies and the like.
I would just let it go. If I had been a homeowner before Darling Husband and I got married, trust me, there is no way in hades I would have gone through the time, money, headache, hassle, etc just to add my husband’s name on a house title we only planned to be in for a few more years.
Post # 7
Yes, you have to refinance to get your name on it and you would have to pay all ofthe closing costs – again!
I wouldnt worry about it.
Post # 8
Darling Husband bought the house we live in before we were married and I’m fine with it just being in his name. We don’t plan to live in the house forever and we’ll buy the next one in both of our names. No big deal. 🙂
Post # 9
It’s an enormous, irritating, tedious, annoying and expensive process, not the mention it can totally change your entire rate and program depending on what he signed to originally, this is a non-issue babe…if you the beneficiary on his life insurance, and co-named person on everything else…it’s fine
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Yeah, you would be required to refinance the house in order to add you to the mortgage, which would require upfront closing fees. Since the plan is to stay in the house for only a few years, you may not be able to recoup those upfront fees in the form of back end savings on your monthly payment. And if you refinanced and added you to the loan, the decision would be based on the same amount of income (his, since you aren’t working), but all of your debts (if you have any) would now be considered as part of the package, which may negatively impact the debt to income ratio, which would negatively affect the interest rate that your loan is eligible for. And if your credit score is lower than his, that would negatively affect the rate as well. So it very well may not make financial sense. And that’s assuming that you can refinance, which may not be a safe assumption. Many homeowners who purchased in the 2005-2010 time frame are underwater on their mortgage and are not eligible for refinancing because of this.
Honestly, I don’t think it’s anything about the strength of your relationship. It’s probably more of a smart financial decision.
Post # 11
I agree it’s a lot of money and time and since you guys plan on being there a few years. I do think if you haven’t already perhaps sitting down and having a talk about money and bank accounts. That would allow him to express his feelings and you to do the same, and come up with a plan that works for the both of you.
Fi and I open joint accounts both saving and checking for the wedding. We plan on using them for joint bills, joint savings after. But we both will be keeping our own accounts, and my money still going into the main account. I set up a specfic amount going directly into the wedding account each month. Perhaps he would feel better about it if you guys did something like that.
Anyways every couple does it differently, and these things are sometimes a little bumpy and take some adjusting so it’s a total normal thing and will take time for both of you to adjust.
Post # 12
You don’t have to be on the mortgage to OWN the home- in fact, I’d say stay away from adding yourself to the mortgage. He can deed you on to title, which does involve some paperwork, but isn’t impossible.
Are you worried about it in case things don’t work out between the two of you? Before you add your name to the ownership of the home, make sure it’s something that you WANT to be an owner of (ie, does he owe less than what it’s worth, will it be easy/hard to re-sell, do you want to deal with the additional hassel if you two don’t stay together). If it’s just the principal of co-owning the home, I’d say skip the whole thing and wait for the next house.
Post # 13
Actually, it should be a simple process to put you on title, not on the mortgage, just on the deed as either a joint tenant with rights of survivorship or comminity property. It depends on your state.
He absolutely should do this to avoid a messy and expensive probate if something were to happen to him.
He simply files a new deed from himself to the two of you. The mortgage remains his liability. Talk to your county clerk’s office.
Post # 14
I’m not added to the current title, and I honestly don’t care. I’ll be added to the next one as we’ll both be taking out the mortgage. I think you’re both in the same boat: he says why do you have to be added- what difference will it make. but you’re saying why not add me.
Post # 15
I own our home in my own name and I am not adding my husband to the mortgage or the deed. I’ve never heard about having to refinance in order to do this, but it may be true if you want to have your name added to the actual mortgage account, which isn’t that big of a deal. The bigger deal would be having your name added to the deed, so that you are listed as co-owner according to the county. And that in itself is a pain because you need to pay a lawyer a couple hundred bucks to draft you up a new one.
NBD in my opinion. Save yourself and your husband the stress!