husband not allowed to my best friends wedding

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
4621 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

You need to attend the entire thing if you’re her Maid/Matron of Honor, or you need to step down.

Post # 3
1775 posts
Buzzing bee

It sounds like you are aware Husband and Boyfriend or Best Friend don’t get along so that Boyfriend or Best Friend is justified in not wanting your husband at the wedding.  If that is the case and you intend to remain friends with her I would say go to the wedding, go to the reception for a bit and then head home. 

Post # 4
4 posts
  • Wedding: August 2015

I am so sorry that she has put you in this position. It seems like she is asking you to choose between them. In my opinion, I would ask her why she doesn’t want him there, but for you to still attend. It may open up some necessary conversations, but if not, you’ll have to go with your gut. If it were me, I would tell her that I am sorry that she has a problem with my husband attending, but that I will stand by him as his wife, and just send a congratulations card and gift. Good luck!

Post # 5
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

goldenstar13:  it’s interesting becuase we see both sides of it on these boards. Brides who are asking to be justified in NOT inviting people and now you’re on the opposite side. Going to the wedding as her Maid/Matron of Honor has nothing to do with your husband. She asked you to stand up with her on her wedding. Go to the whole thing or dont go at all.

Post # 6
46256 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Unless your husband has done something heinous to her in the past, it is not appropriate for her to pass judgement on your relationship by not inviting him to the wedding.

I would tell her that I am not comfortable with her judgement and step down from being Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 7
605 posts
Busy bee

What happened between them to cause the rift? Did he do something to her that she hasn’t forgiven, like, oh I don’t know, steal her panties?

I can’t find the thread now but there was one recently about a bride not wanting to invite her best friends husband because he’s a perv that stole her underwear. It’s probably just a coincidence but boy would that be hilarious. 

Post # 8
2355 posts
Buzzing bee

goldenstar13:  I think it kind of depends what the “altercation” was that occurred.

We had the flip side last week when a bride posted about this very subject. She wanted her friend there, but not her husband. In general, it is rude to only invite one member of a couple just because you dont like them. However, we all pretty much sided with this bride because none of us would want to be around someone like that.

Your Darling Husband didn’t steal her underwear at one point, did he? 

Post # 10
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Brussels, Belgium

ilovebacon:  I remember that thread, but don’t remember who it was. 

It’s unfortunate that he’s not invited, but if they don’t get along I can’t imagine it’s that much of a surprise. Like a few other have said you’re her Maid/Matron of Honor so you should be at everything or nothing. If you know the bridesmaids or other guests you can still have a good time.

Post # 11
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

ilovebacon:  Ahhhhhh!! I was thinking the same thing!!!!

Post # 12
1170 posts
Bumble bee


goldenstar13:  I assume there is a pretty strong reason for these ‘altercations’ if it is enough for her to not invite your husband.  She obviously cares about you very much to want you to be her Maid/Matron of Honor so I’m assuming she would have to have a pretty strong reason to risk upsetting you by not inviting your husband. obviously we don’t know what these reasons are but I assume you  do. You have to either go to all or none of it really as she clearly wants to celebrate her whole day with you but only you know if her reasons make sense to you and how much you value the friendship

Post # 14
2500 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

All or none.

Realize that by choosing none, you may effectively end your relationship with her.

If she truly was in the wrong of these problems, I don’t know why you’re still friends with her.  If your Darling Husband was in the wrong, I don’t know why you question whether this is a slight.

Post # 15
3037 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

You agreed to be her Maid/Matron of Honor and I’d just go. You have to attend the whole thing.  Does your Darling Husband care that much? Buy him a case of beer and invite his friends over to hang out for a guys night.  I doubt he’ll miss not going to the wedding.

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