Husband Thinks I'm a Liar

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

@katiebeary:  just leave it alone.  and respect his privacy from now on . If you think he is up to no good and is cheating or something then wait till that proof presents itself and it will. 

Post # 4
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It sounds like you both are at a crossroads. Him acting suspicious makes you check. You checking makes him mad. I understand from both your perspectives. If he is being truthful and not hiding anything, and I was in his position, I understand being hurt that YOU don’t trust ME. However, I could see that coming across to you as being supsicious. It’s a catch 22.

I would suggest giving it time and space and seeing where the cards fall. Put it in the back of your mind for a bit, but don’t forget it. Monitor the situation and things with him. Do things go back to normal eventually? How long does it take? Does he exhibit any other suspicious behavior? Does he continue to lock software or stop? What happens next will help detemine your next steps.

Unfortunately, right now, it sounds like all you can do is sit back and monitor the situation. Sometimes if you keep talking about it, you just go round and round and nothing is accomplished. I have a feeling time will tell what’s going on.

 

Post # 7
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I don’t get what’s with his need for higher security to shut you out.

Maybe he’s just doing this because he feels violated.. but it’s still odd. My SO and I know all each other’s passwords and I really don’t care if he reads any of my stuff and vice versa. He expects me to read his emails.. like he’ll say “oh did you read the one my mom sent?” lol.

Post # 9
Member
1173 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Some tough love here. You disrespected your husband. He clearly has different boundaries than you do. Obviously from all you say, he appears to be a truthworthy guy. Imagine if he looked through your phone, didnt find anything, then takes your phone again to look through it. You would be raising hell that he didnt trust you. Granted you say it was to only take photos of your own but coming on the heels of you going through his phone he probably felt violated in some way.

Not every couple agrees about whats acceptable and whats not in terms of privacy. My DH and I have never talked about looking at each others phone. I have his passwords and he has mine only because sometimes, depending on who is driving and we need directions, one of us will look them up on who evers phone is closet. However I have never ever gone through this phone and to my knowledge he has never gone through mine. However we dont keep them locked unless we at our jobs. 

Then you asked him to leave the room while you printed off the tickets. Coming on the heels of all that happened before, he overreacted.  You should have just said honey, Im planning a surprise can you leave the room while i print something?

Problem solved. Your just exacerbating the problem. You need to let this go. If he is doing nothing wrong then it boils down he has different ideas of what is private and what is not. 

I repeat Let it go!!!

Your gonna drive him away if you dont stop. Forget happy vacation, your gonna end up driving yourself crazy because you say your not snooping but it looks like you are, maybe cute once, but you need to respect your husbands boundaries.

Post # 11
Member
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@katiebeary:  Wait, he used to get mad at you for chatting about random things? What the frack? I’m sorry but if my BF had gotten mad at me for that, I would have been highly offended and we would not be dating now. But I guess you don’t mind your BF saying that. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose. 

As for looking through his phone. I look through my BF’s phone sometimes but it’s done solely out of curiosity. And he knows about it and it doesn’t bother him at all.

And I wouldn’t care if BF looked through my phone, he actually does that in front of me sometimes. He’s curious too. 

But clearly, your BF likes his privacy. I do think he is really overreacting but oh well, this is not really a battle worth fighting. For the sake of peace, I guess you just have to leave his phone and computer alone and stop bringing up the subject. Good luck. I hope your relationship goes back to normal. 

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