Husband thinks I'm cheating

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Bee-In-Hiding:  So after he sobered up he still wouldn’t talk to you or apologize?!  Did you re-explain the situation to his sober mind?

 

This is ridiculous, IMO you have no reason to need to prove over and over again that you’re faithful.  This is HIS problem and his irrationality.  You should not feel hurt over this in the least!!

Post # 4
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

It’s now Tuesday and he’s (presumably) sober. If I were you, I’d sit him down for a talk, show him the evidence, and give him a chance to apoligize for being ridiculous. If he doesn’t apologize, then lay into him for falsely accusing you and making you feel bad when you did nothing wrong. And if he still doesn’t come around, then go find a marriage counselor because he’s got issues and you might benefit from some professional back-up to help resolve things.

Post # 5
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Boy was drunk, girl showed him funny FB status about a game he likes, boy flips out that it was a boys status, and that that boy was named Tim, which happens to be your ‘old flames’ name.  Boy now decides he has reservations, is not speaking to girl, and now girl must ‘prove’ she is not a cheater?! Especially, AFTER girl was A-OK with him spending a drunk evenign with boys bff, and being his designated driver?!

 

Honestly, OP, he has NO grounds to stand on right now.  He has no right to be upset (except with his retarded drunk behavior), or be angry (except with himself not being coherent enough to see it was his drunk misunderstanding).  In fact, if I were you, I WOULD HAVE NOT spoken to him until I got an apology regarding all of the above.

 

Nothing in your account of the story makes me believe that you need to prove to him you are not cheater.  You ARE NOT A CHEATER.  YOU HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON HIM.  And, after an escapade such as this, I would be not so kindly telling him that his insecurities – drunk or sober – are not something you find desireable, but rather quite offensive. 

 

Post # 6
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your DH is being a psycho. I don’t think there is anything YOU need to do.  YOu didn’t do anything wrong in the first place.  This is HIS issue to get over.  I suggest you tell him to get over it immediately, too.  It’s ridiculous he hasn’t talked to you in days over this.  I can understand being a drunken idiot, but the next day when he was sober, it all should have been laughed away.

 

Post # 7
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Bee-In-Hiding:  Counseling. Seriously. I have a theory that people get more honest when they’re drunk. It’s not babbling. He probably didn’t get over it more than he just quit being open with you about how he was thinking. Some men (and women) are truly horrible at letting things go. I am one of them. And if my FI didn’t let me get all the crazy off my chest as often as I’d like we wouldn’t be doing this well, probably not even together. I told him long ago that I will think it even when I don’t say it and he just needs to tell me as many times as I need to hear it. I’ll admit it was extra work for him. Maybe even sucked for him. I wasn’t intentionally trying to torture him. It’s just that you form your ideas from past experiences and I hadn’t had any good ones, so… I just didn’t want to be that stupid girl who believed the BS coming out of a man’s mouth AGAIN. I used to give everything the benefit of the doubt. Now I only give him the benefit of the doubt because he kept plugging along proving it every time I had a question. Listening and reassuring. I think you are like my FI and your husband is like me. It’s in the back of his head. Just help him see that he’s wrong. I suggested counseling so that you two can have the opportunity to get it all out on the table and get past it.

Post # 8
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why is he all of sudden flipping out on you over total bullshit? That would make me suspicious of him. OP I’m not saying he’s up to something, but I tend to think people project when they suddenly try to find something fishy with their SO’s behavior, when its unprovoked like that.  

Post # 9
Member
25 posts
Newbee

He might be really embarrassed that he overreacted and afraid to approach you about it now. Then again, I don’t know him or how he normally acts. That being said, DO NOT be the one to apologize! You’ve done nothing wrong. He needs to control his drunken self!

Post # 11
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Hope to hear a positive update.

Post # 12
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Bee-In-Hiding:  Let us know what happens!

Post # 13
Member
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Either we aren’t getting the whole story, or your man has a drinking problem. 

Post # 15
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Bee-In-Hiding:  Good idea, I would have told him to cut the drinking out entirely if he’s going to be such an idiot.  But hey, he’s clearly not concerned about it!

 

Good luck with that one.

Post # 16
Member
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Even though he may not drink frequently, it still sounds as if he has problems WHEN he drinks. 

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