Post # 1
I never have had a huge problem with tattoos but now that my husband is seriously looking at getting one I am not sure I want it. It isnt even so much the idea of a tattoo as what he is wanting to get, something else wouldnt seem so bad. He is an avid video gamer (PC games like WOW and Diable 3 etc) I dont play at all and am not a big fan of games. I understand it is his body but I do feel I should have a say. I am not a fan of him having something like that forever on his body when I know someday we will be having kids. I dont know what message that will send and just the idea of seeing it and the type of feeling it gives (especially the image he is looking at) bothers me. He is thinking the back of his calf. He is insisting that its his body and that he can do whatever he wants and that he really wants the video game character. I am torn as to what to do and how to talk to him since all attempts at sharing my feelings have not gone well.
Post # 3
I think you can explain your feelings and insecurities, but it’s still his choice. If he wants to do it, he’s going to do it, and that’s his right because it’s his body.
Post # 4
I don’t think you can dissuade him from it entirely, but perhaps you can suggest he put it in a spot that it can be more easily hidden when he wants?
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I don’t think you should have a say on whether or not he gets a tattoo. Sure, tell him how you feel, but it’s his choice and I don’t think it’s fair to try to guilt him out of it. I also think the message it gives to your children depends on how you present it to them. You can determine how they interpret it. When they are adults, they can make that decision too if they want but that like their father’s tattoo, it will last a long time. Tattoos aren’t some taboo that your kids will be ashamed of your father for having.
Post # 6
I disagree that you should have no say. And you bring up valid points about your future children. My Fiance and I really don’t like tattoos but you can bet that if either one of us ever decided we wanted one (hypothetically…neither of us would ever want one), there would be some serious discussions. It would not be a unilateral decision for either one of us.
Perhaps if he’s dead set on getting one, you could come to some kind of compromise. Maybe a smaller one? Or in a less conspicuous area? Or both?
Post # 7
I can see where you are coming from. It’s a permanent change to his body. Ultimately you can’t stop him from getting one but I would focus on trying to influence the type of image he is considering. I know there are certain images that would actually be relationship deal-breakers for me (like if it’s a pic of one of those highly-sexualized female game heroines). Can you maybe steer him in a better direction as a way of compromising with him.
Post # 8
I’m a bit of a gamer, and so is my husband. Games come and go so quickly that I personally wouldn’t put a game character on my body permanently. Essentially, they are passing fads. Yes, even WoW, (which Darling Husband and I both played for a few years, but the quality has gone downhill and many of our long-time friends who have been playing since launch are no longer playing). Diablo has been around for a while, but again, it’s kind of one of those thing I think you would look back on ten years from now and think, “WHY did I put that on my body?” But then, I am not a huge tattoo fan, so perhaps I am biased? If I put something on my body that I can’t just wash off, I want it to be something meaningful, that will still be meaningful to me years later.
I also disagree with your Darling Husband and some PPs that you don’t get a vote…if you are making a permanent change to your body, your spouse absolutely gets a vote! This isn’t a hair cut or a dye job that will grow out. If my husband said, “I want to dye my hair green,” I would express my opinion but the decision would be his. If he said, “I want to cut off my left arm,” that’s a decision that needs to be made together.
Post # 9
A little off topic but he will recognise this:
My boy’s Horde tatt 🙂
Sorry if this pushes him to get a tattoo more…
Now back on topic 🙂
Post # 10
I feel like if a girl came on here posting about how her Darling Husband wouldn’t allow her to get a tattoo she really wanted, everyone would be telling her to go get that tattoo and that her Darling Husband was being controlling.
Does he have other tattoos? Yes, you will have to look at his tattoo for the rest of your life. But coming from someone with a few tattoos, you really forget they are there. My Fiance disliked tattoos (too bad for him) and even he says he eventually just didn’t notice them because he was so used to them being there. I’ll be in the shower and look down and say “hey! I have a tattoo!” when I’ve had them all for years. They’re a permanent change but they aren’t that drastic.
Post # 11
@bookworm88: I agree. I don’t think it’s that big a deal.
Post # 12
At least he’e not taking it as far as Rico… the Zombie Boy….
You can see the transformation here! From Zombie Boy to “normal”! They use makeup to cover all of his tattoos! It’s amazing!
Post # 13
What is the image he wants?
Post # 14
I can understand your feelings, but in the end you shouldn’t have any control over what he does to his body (within reason). Getting a tattoo on his calf is his choice.
I’m not really a huge fan of tattoos myself, but I don’t see why you would worry about how his future tattoo could affect children? I don’t see how a parent with a tattoo would be a problem at all.
Post # 15
I personally love tattoos, but I understand why others dont get them. I think also that it is important to educate your children about things like tattoos because there are so many misconceptions about people who have them, and when they are old enough, they can make the right decision for themselves.
Post # 16
My Fiance has told me that he will be getting more tattoos. I don’t like the idea but I’ve let it go. I think he has enough but I can’t control what he does to his body. We have come to the compromise of nothing past a tshirt sleeve. I also have tattoos of my own.
What image is it? I think I might side with you if it’s something that creeps me out or is offensive.