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Husband wants all play, none of the work (long)

posted 1 year ago in Pets
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    1.
    Member
    1,196 posts
    Bumble bee
    Dragonsus    December 19, 2009   Lexington KY

    As a suprise for my birthday last year, my husband gave me a corgi puppy.  Our beloved Eva the Diva is now one year old and we are considering getting her a playmate (we're looking for an older corgi from a local rescue).  I have been responsible for all of her training and socializing, despite having to fight to convice the hubby that she was not going to magically behave on her own and that the cost of training was more than worth it.  Hubby is perfectly happy to play with the dog when he's home, but since he hasn't been involved in training her, he's more likely to enforce bad habits (letting her jump on him, over-feeding, etc.). He also gets easily frustrated when she doesn't do what he wants her too.  He refused to walk her after a particular day that she decided she didn't want to go for a walk when he decided to take her.  So now I do all the walking.  I can occasionally get him to take her to the dog park, and when I remind him, he remembers to brush her. With harassing, he'll help me bathe her (she hates baths, it's definitely a two person job).  She also has a chewing problem, particularly if left alone for any length of time.  I fought to justify the expense of a crate so that she could quit destroying shoes and anything made of paper. He didn't give in until she ate a pair of HIS shoes.

    We have been very lucky in that my boss has two dogs, a fenced yard and a husband who works from home that is willing to take our dog a few days a week when scheduled get crazy or I just need a break.  Unfortunately, my boss's husband has just been diagnosed with a tumor, and I don't want to impose on what is sure to be a long and painful recovery period. 

    Also unfortunately, I am getting to the final stages of my degree and need to spend at least 2 days a week in the library working on various projects. It's also tax season and my CPA hubby is working 12-15 hour days.  Since my boss's house is out of the question, I approached my hubby about possibly using a doggy daycare service for one of the days I need to be out of the house, just until the end of tax season.  He flat out refused!

    This is not a huge expense - 18-22$ for a whole day of playing at a location that is convenient to both his office and school.  Cost-wise, it's about equivalent to both of us brown-bagging our lunches/coffees that one day a week.  I am really tired of fighting about the dog's welfare, particularly since my husband refuses to do any of the work with her and often ignores her when he's home to play video games for hours on end! Heck, half the reason I wanted another dog is so that I won't have to entertain her constantly.

    Any really good arguments, bees?

    Husband wants all play, none of the work (long) :  wedding Eva Intermediate Graduation2
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    2.
    Member
    2,130 posts
    Buzzing bee
    texasmeredith      

    Cute dog!  What was his reason for flat out refusing to consider Doggie Daycare?

    Explain that you are overwhelmed and you need help caring for your dog.  Particular days you guys are both working crazy hours and your dog can't sit at home crossing his/her paws for 12+ hours and you'd like to give day care a try for X weeks to see if it helps your situation. 

     
    3.
    Member
    1,196 posts
    Bumble bee
    Dragonsus    December 19, 2009   Lexington KY

    @texasmeredith:  His only reason is that he doesn't want to spend the money!  When she's older and has grown out of this chewing phase (I hope, I pray) THEN we can leave her at home alone, but until then, he doesn't get that it's not fair to her.

     
    4.
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    311 posts
    Helper bee
    stellablue5997    September 25, 2010   Florida

    She is super cute! 

    Honestly, if I were in your situation, I would just pack him a lunch and take her to day care.  It is obvious that you are trying to do the right thing for the dog and it isn't fair to leave a dog home alone for that long. 

    Maybe try to sit him down and explain to him that the dogs needs are just important as his.  She needs to be properly cared for during the times that you can't be there. 

    Good luck!  I know it can be hard trying to get through when they are so stubborn about something, but this is a little life that he needs to help care for.  What if you do get another dog?  What about children, too?   

     

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