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Husband wants to get tattoo

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    Rgeddy    June 13, 2010   Raleigh, NC

    I always said I thought I was okay with DH getting a tattoo.  Now he's seriously looking to get one when we move in 9 months and I'm worried.  I'm having second thoughts on him getting one.  He wants a large tree on his shoulder - to add things to possible - kids etc.  Which I know is a really cute idea but the whole tattoo idea is bugging me.  What would are future children think?  do I want them to think tattoos are cool.  I don't know how I feel about it either.  I've never seen myself as someone who would be with a inked guy.

    Anyone else have DH's with tattoos or those who want them?  Thoughts?

     
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    LetsGoPens    October 13, 2012   Pittsburgh

    If you want to see what a tree on someone's shoulder would look like Dax Sheppard has a cherry blossom tree on this right shoulder. I was going to post a picture of it but the only good one I could find, he was flipping off the camera and I didn't want you to think I was flipping you off.

     
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    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    My hubby isn't a tattoo guy, so I don't have any advice for you. But we do know someone who has the kind of tattoo you're talking about.

    Husband wants to get tattoo :  wedding husband tattoo 16444 316333975528 508480528 9411312 7281018 N

     
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    chocolatemalt    July 25, 2010   Austin, TX

    My husband has a bunch of tattoos and I like them. He got them many years before we started dating, so I had no say over it. However I will tell you that he regrets all of them! He says things like, "I'll never be able to see that part of my arm again..." and, "These are so stupid, I wish I had never gotten them". So, I don't mind them, but he does.

    His idea is cute but I understand it bothering you if you don't like tattoos in general. Have you let him know you're not crazy about the idea? Maybe he will change his mind.

     
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    marlew    October 23, 2010   Ajax, Ontario

    I hate to to say this but if his mind is set on it then he's going to do it, whether you like it or not.  My husband hates tattoos and I have 4 of them...I've told him, it's my body, he doesn't really have a say, but I would take my time and make sure what I got I really really wanted for the rest of my life, and analyse how it would be reflected by our kids.

    From a children's perspective - my parents were 100% against them, I wanted one but waited until I was 18 and old enough to do it without parental consent, but again, when they realized they had no say they encouraged me to really think about what I want. I also have younger cousins who have come to me wanting to get one, and I basically made a deal with them saying when they're 18 they have full control over their body, and I would take them somewhere safe if that's what choice they made, but they had to wait until 18 and really think about it.

    It's ok for your children to think it's "cool", just encourage them wait, and think it out.

     
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    Rgeddy    June 13, 2010   Raleigh, NC

    @chocolatemalt: We've discussed it before and I told him before that I was probably okay with it.  I'm not sure I ever thought he'd be serious!  Hypothetically yes I'm cool with it but now I dunno.  I've told him "I'll think about it".  Which means I want to draw it on him and see how I feel.

     
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    pansyshell    October 8, 2010   Central Pa, Wedding in Outer Banks, NC

    I'll be honest here...I am not a fan of tattoos! It's just not my thing and I never would have pictured myself with a guy who has them, HOWEVER I am married to a man with several.

    My husband has both sleeves done, two rib pieces and a chest pieces. All of which he had before I met him and when we did meet I saw him and not his ink. Normally tattoos would bother me, but on him they do not and I hardly even notice they are there...I think that if your husband does decide to get one that you will not be as bothered by it as you think. You love him for him regardless of some image that may or may not be on his arm.

    On a side note: I did tell my husband that if he ever gets another one we need to talk about it first...in depth! I want a report as to why he wants it, the meaning, where it is going to be, everything.

     
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    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    If he wants to get a tattoo and it isn't in a place that would affect his work (i.e. face, neck, hands, lower arms) I really really think you need to let him do whatever he wants. It is still his body, ya know? 

    And what would be wrong if your kids did grow up thinking tattoos are cool? I don't really see the big deal. My dad has 10ish tattoos at last count, my mom has one. They were never hidden and my dad got 7 of the 10 after I was old enough to know what he was doing. My brother has 3 (which he got after he turned 18 and he's a white collar guy for what its worth). I have 0 (so clearly growing up in a family with them doesn't mean you're going to have kids run out and get them at 18). 

     

     
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    crayfish    September 11, 2010   Berkeley, CA

    Everyone has tattoos (literally, the majority of our generation has them), so I really don't think your children will judge him. Especially if it is something as tame as a tree that he adds important milestones to. It's not a flaming devil, you know what I mean?

     
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    lopeze4183    September 19, 2010   Brooklyn, NY

    I agree 110% with Corgitales. I say let him get it, it is his body after all. I personally have 1 my husband has 4. And frankly every tattoo we have signifies something to us and I wouldn't mind sharing what that is with my children.

     
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    Rgeddy    June 13, 2010   Raleigh, NC

    @lopeze4183 & @crayfish: Thank You!  This is making me feel much better!  I just needed a little reasonable thoughts on this!

     
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    chelseamorning    November 1, 2008   Washington, DC/Atlanta

    I am intrigued/confused that he wants his first tattoo to be so large. It's already a commitment to get a tattoo in the first place---why not start with something less impactful just to make sure it is what he wants? He can always add to it later. I like your idea of drawing it on him to see if you like it!

    For those of you who have tattoos or have partners with tattoos, did you start large or small? Did the size of the tattoo impact your decision to get one?

     
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    Rgeddy    June 13, 2010   Raleigh, NC

    @chelseamorning: I'm interested as well to see how big he wants it! lol.  He mentioned "palm or hand sized".  Besides this tree tattoo and any additional additions to it's branches and such he's said he doesn't think he'd want another one.  as in something totally different somewhere else.

     
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    chelseamorning    November 1, 2008   Washington, DC/Atlanta

    @Rgeddy: Palm- or hand-sized is smaller than what I was imagining! When you said "large," I thought it would be something that covered most of his back.

     
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    MrsWrangler    October 2, 2010   Florida

    If it's covered 90% of the time - which if it's underneath his shirt, it will be - you probably won't even notice it. My husband and I have tattoos on our ribs underneath our arms and sometimes I forget they're even there! Haha

    And since his seems to be meaningful and sentimental, it's improbable that he'll become hooked on tattoos and end up with full sleeves or something - I have one and am sticking with one. I wouldn't worry about your kids, it's not taboo anymore and they'll be old enough to make their own decisions by the time they're allowed to get them anyway.

     
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    luckyprincess       New Jersey

    @Rgeddy:

    Hi!  I have seven tattoos (all very colorful and elegant and meaningful) and my bf has nine.  I have never regretted any of mine and the first one I got was 18 years ago and the newest was last sunday! :)  I also work in the Biological Sciences field part of the time and will be a scientist within a year when I'm done with school.  7 out of 9 of the Scientists that I work with have tattoos.  Two of the ladies have 'full sleeves' that are really pretty.  The reason I tell you this is just in case there was an idea in your head of tattoos holding people back in their professions.  They really don't.  Unless, of course, he gets it on his forehead, lol!Surprised

    I think drawing it on is a fabulous idea!  That way you can really get a good idea of how it will look.  And if you check out some figures, you'll find that what corgi said is true - in this generation, more people have tattoos than don't have tattoos.  So it really is a generally accepted thing for our generation.  I think that your children will be seeing them so often on everyone that their opinion of them won't be swayed by just daddy.  I think celebrities may have more of an influence on that.  For what its worth, I am the only one in my family to have any and my parents have none so I think a child finding them intriguing and cool depends on the child more than their exposure to them.

    Also, my ex hubby hated tattoos on girls (sexist, just one of his problems, lol) and I already had two when we started dating.  He was actually very mean and cruel about the idea of me getting more and it made me think we weren't very compatible, which led to our separating.  I wish I had just stuck to my guns like the other posters here that said 'its my body'.

     
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    MissHelen    November 20, 2010   California

    FI has three tattoos, one that he shares with an ex (I find this hilarious), one that is an Army tattoo, and one that he got almost two years ago after we met....and that I'm not a fan of. It's so.....ugh. Just don't like it. BUT he'd been wanting it for years so who was I to say anything about it? And let me tell you, the tattoo that I hate (well, hate is a strong word....maybe "the tattoo I wish had been different" would be more appropriate) I don't really see anymore. I just see him. Don't worry. It won't be the end all be all of your relationship and it's natural to be nervous.

    I have a tree tattooed on my side and I love it. One of my best friends used the design for the tattoo he got on his arm...here are a couple of pics:

    Husband wants to get tattoo :  wedding husband tattoo Tree Tat

    Husband wants to get tattoo :  wedding husband tattoo Tree Tat 2

     
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    Beccka    September 1, 2010  

    Why not get a tattoo only you will see? Not a great pic but here's my man's, proof who he belongs to if he gets lost... and yes it IS on a cheek! Laughing

    Husband wants to get tattoo :  wedding husband tattoo Image2

     
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    ChaiAnkh99    August 12, 2011   Boston

    It's your husband's body, and if he wants to get a tattoo, you do not have the right to tell him he can't get one. Having a tattoo does not make him any different as a person -- "an inked guy" is no different from a non-inked guy, and being married to one does not reflect badly on you.

    My dad has a tattoo, and I don't think it had any particular effect on my or my siblings' opinions of them. I have always loved and wanted tattoos, and I have several. My brothers, on the other hand, don't like them and don't have any. Your children may or may not want tattoos when they get older, but I don't think your husband having or not having one will shape their opinions.

     
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    sassy411    November 27, 2010   SoCal

    @crayfish:

     

    This seems to be true.  I'm older than most of the ladies here & my generation was not into tatoos in such a big way.

    I am curious about what the future holds.  If it turns out to be just a fad, I wonder how the heavily inked younguns of today will feel.  I also wonder about future employment, if the tats are big & visible, will it limit career options?

    I don't know.  But things I personally would consider if I wanted a tatoo.

     

     
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    yrret107    November 28, 2009   Seattle, WA; Married in West Chester, PA

    I think you should let your husband do what he wants to do. I think he has his own reasons on why he wants to put something permanent on his body.

    As for you kids, I think if you tell them all of the consequences of having tattoos, that they should be able to decide if it is right for them. I think they will consider your opinons on it before deciding.  I know that's what I did when I got mine. 

    Also, you don't know what you kids will think.  My dad wasn't an alcoholic but he did drink a lot when I was younger.  I could have been a kid that thought it was cool to drink.. but no, I wasn't,  (after trying it during college) I've decided it's not something I have to do. So I don't consider myself a drinker.

    Oh, BTW, my husband did get one on his shoulder.  Before he got his tattoo, I didn't really like tattoos on shoulders.  I don't know why. But I changed my mind about it when my husband told me he was going to get a cross on his shoulder with his grandmothers name on it.  When she died, he was devastated.  I completely understand why he got the tattoo.  It was a tribute to his grandmother and even though, she is gone, he will always remember her.

     
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    brideatbeach    June 4, 2011  

    My fiance has four tattoos on his arms. It honestly doesn't bother me because they all represent different points of his life, and they're not offensive or anything. There's a story behind each one. I think it's kind of cool! :)

     
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    luckyprincess       New Jersey

    @sassy411:

    My first tattoo was at 18 and my latest at 36 and that whole time in between people have been saying that tattoos may be a 'fad'.  But a 'fad' dies out in one, maybe two seasons so I think its gone way beyond that, lol.  The most heavily (so far) tattooed generation is x and we are starting to be the ones 'in charge' soon, so I don't think the tattooed later generations will find much judgement if their bosses, senators and doctors are tattooed, too :)

     
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    MissFlipFlops    February 25, 2009  

     My husband and I both talked about getting tatoos. I wouldn't get alot of them or put them in very viewable places but I look at them as a form of art. I have strict rules though about tatoos such as I will not get on on my legs or lower back and my husband will not get one that has any type of demonic meaning (no that he would anyways) or something that wasn't hugely important to him. Other then that I really don't see the problem.

     Don't worry about what your kids think! My 80 year old grandpa is covered in tatoos and I still look at him as my dear old grandpa! lol

     
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    sassy411    November 27, 2010   SoCal

    @luckyprincess:

     

    Whoa, I got quite the visual on this--trying to imagine tatooed senators . . .

     

    So those of us without ink will be outcasts!  Wink

     
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    luckyprincess       New Jersey

    @sassy411:

    Lol - crazy, huh?  Don't worry, we won't judge! ;)

     
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    sassy411    November 27, 2010   SoCal

    @luckyprincess:

    Thanks for that!  I can't wait till I start seeing senior citizens getting inked . . .

     
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    Miss Tattoo    September 15, 2012   Pittsburgh, PA

    @Rgeddy: I'm biased obviously. Fi and I have many tattoos. Even if I didn't have any, I would never stop him from getting one. It's his body. Your future kids will always just think it's part of him. My daughter is 4 and never points them out too much. 

    Voice your concerns, but don't make him feel guilty for wanting to get one. 

     
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    SouthernGirl    October 2013   Alabama

    @chelseamorning: My first tattoo was around 7 inches high and 4 inches wide...

    I grew up in a family where hardly anyone had any tattoos. My uncle and my cousins were the only ones with them, but I'd always wanted one. I got my first one in memory of my father who passed away, and 5 tattoos later, I'm still in love with them. My FI doesn't have any tattoos. He's talked about getting one in the future, but he really doesn't think he will. He's just not into tattoos, but it perfectly ok with me having mine.

    I don't think that just because your hubby gets a tattoo that your children will run off and get them you know? And I second the fact that if it's not going to affect his employment, then why not? He may change his mind aboout the size anyway by the time he gets it. I changed my mind about several...

    I would just talk with him about it.

     

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