Husband wants to give away family heirloom to his brother

posted 1 month ago in Married Life
Post # 2
990 posts
Busy bee

I don’t really think it has anything to do with you. If he wants to give it to his brother I think that’s fine. It sounds like he even inherited it before you were together?

Post # 3
2133 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

 He clearly isn’t as attached to it as you are so let it go

Also have you checked you both aren’t related? #semijoking

Post # 4
1558 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I would be upset. To me, that is something that should stay between you and if you have a child it goes to them someday. 

It belonged to both your fathers. 

Post # 5
3189 posts
Sugar bee

It is his, so it’s up to him, but I understand how you feel. Have you asked him if he’s considered passing it down to one of your children one day? (If children are in the picture?)

Post # 6
533 posts
Busy bee

Does his brother has good relationship with your grandfather or does he just really like the rifle as a nice object? If it is the former, i might consider it, but if he really likes it just because it is very collectible, I would have some objections. Can he wait until you guys have kids and decide it later? He seems very whimsy (and the type that is unattached to material – I know some people that are like this), but have he consider asking you first? I told my DH when he gave away some of his father’s inheritance that he should ask me first because through marriage, we are now a unit. This time is probably a good time to have a good sit down discussion between you two, on what to do and how much influence (through discussion, not controlling) the partner have for his/her inheritance. 

Post # 7
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I totally see why you’re upset- however this stopped being a family heirloom when your uncle gave it to his dad. Its solidly in “his side” of the family now and he should be able to give it to his brother 🙁 That being said, you are his wife and you should be able to just tell him how hurt it makes you so that he reconsiders.

Post # 8
3489 posts
Sugar bee

How is it connected to you? Am I missing something?

Post # 9
7657 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Ultimately, he inherited the rifle, and he should get to decide its fate. Maybe it’s not a big deal to him. His brother is part of the family too. Have you talked to your husband about how you feel? 

Post # 11
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I would say it’s his to do with as he pleases, if you two hadn’t fallen in love it would still be your partners, he could have done with it as he wishes, however you’re feeling that it’s your families heirloom because that’s where it started. 


Post # 12
826 posts
Busy bee

I would be upset as well. Yes it is his but it obviously holds a special place in your heart and in your family. Maybe he doesnt realise how much it means to you? I would let him know that you would rather you guys keep it as a symbol of howe the two of you were connected before you guys were ever together. If somethig I owned meant a lot to my husband I would rather give it to him than anyone else. 

Post # 13
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

tasha16 :  If he was given it because he was your partner then it would be fair to ask him not to give it to his brother, but he inherited it due to his own relationship with its owner so its his alone and he can share it with his brother if he wants. 

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