- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Hi there, my name is Chasity. My husband and I have been married for a little over a year. I am 21 and he is 28. My husband and his family (especially his mom and sister) are closer than I could ever imagine being with my family. My family and I are close, but not quite as close as my husband’s family. The issue has been going on since we got engaged and started planning the wedding. His mother and sister are very over bearing with their opinions and the way they think things should be done. His mother has backed off, understanding that I like things done a certain way and she respects that. His sister on the other hand is still very opinionated and it was hard to deal with. The reason I am writing today is because the issue has gotten worse over the weekend.
We recently bought our first home in February, 2013 and had our house warming party this past saturday, August 10, 2013. His sister and mother threw it to take the financial stress off of us, which was very nice of them. However, Friday night, my husband was on the phone with his sister when she asked him if we cleaned out our litter box.
We have 3 cats and 2 dogs. His family does not agree with us having so many animals, however our house is very clean and tidy you can barely tell we have animals, besides the little strands of hair.
I thought that her asking this question was extremely rude. I usually try to keep my mouth shut about things, however I could not keep my mouth shut about this. I asked him, “Did she seriously just ask you if we cleaned the litter box?” He said yes, like there was no issue with his sister’s question. I told him that I thought this was extremely rude and he got devensive and very mad. (It takes A LOT to make my husband mad. He is usually the most patient person I have ever met.) We proceeded to get into an argument about the subject. I was trying my best to make him see where I was coming from. To me, she insulted the way that I keep my house and basically said my house is dirty. I was crying and pleading for him to see my side. He never did and that upset me. We ended up not speaking for 3 hours. I didn’t want to ruin the weekend, so I put it in the back of my mind for the time being.
Then, Saturday his sister walks into our home as im cleaning my kitchen and tells me where the tables are going to go. This urked my nerves a little bit, because my husband and I had already agreed months ago where the tables were going to go. I politely told her we had already decided where the tables were going and let it go. She got a little pissy about that. After they got the tables set up, I was about to get into the shower, so I could get ready for people to get there. My room was already clean the only things that weren’t done was the bed wasn’t made and my hair stuff was out, because I still had to fix my hair. My sister in law proceeded to go into OUR room and start cleaning and moving crap from places I already had it!!!!! I got extremely mad, but didn’t say antything to her as I was trying to avoid conflict. I did tell my husband while I was in the shower that it upset me that she came into our room and started cleaning. I told him I appreciated the fact that she was trying to help, but that is our room and personal space. If she wanted to help she could have cleaned another room. Again, he got devensive and said she was just trying to help and never said anything to her about it bothering me.
My issue, is that he never sticks up for me in situations like this. As we were arguing Friday he proceeded to tell me that I needed to grow up and get over it. To me it seems that he thinks his family can never do anything wrong and they are pretty much the best thing since sliced bread. My opinion is that we are married now and we are a unity now. He should stick by my side no matter what, unless i did something way out of line, but in this situation I honestly feel as though his sister is in the wrong.