Weddingbee boards

Last night, my husband went to the bachelor party of a guy he works with/and buddy. To complicate this further, this guy and his fiance live directly across the street from us, and I am good friends with his fiance, though we really haven't known each other long. To complicate things EVEN further, she is pregnant (unplanned), and they are rushing a wedding in a couple of weeks. She's really stressed out about it, and of course is having first trimester yuckiness that makes everything worse. Also, three of my husband's other co-workers were there. All but one of them works together as a team, and shares the same workspace.

So, my husband asked about going to the bachelor party earlier in the week. He made a big deal about the fact that he wasn't going to be there for the "entertainment"...that was fine by me. Before anyone criticizes me about how prudish I am, let me say that I myself am 3+ months pregnant, with an 8-month old, and a three year old. I'm overly sensitive right now. There is nothing like pregancy, and especially pregnancies close together, to challenge everything you know and think about yourself as a WOMAN. I get it. I'm also not into guys that do the stripper thing. Not coming down on anyone who does it, but it's just not my thing, and I've never been attracted to the kind of guy that would do that...but I know there are plenty who feel differently than I do. I know there are more gys that are into it then aren't, and I thought my husband was one of the uncommon ones, but I guess I was foolish and wrong about that. I feel sorry for women who feel the need to strip, and don't have a lot of respect for guys that get off on the exploitation of someone's daughter, who often times has emotional issues that makes me sad to even think about.

So, my husband went to the bachelor party...and the stripper showed up late, several hours later. After telling me all week that he wouldn't be there for the stripper, my husband decided that was fine to stay somewhere where a completely naked woman rubbed and slithered her bits all over everyone, though he himself didn't have a lap dance, etc. - whatever. I'm disappointed in the fact that he thought it was okay to stay and watch a woman with a questionable compass do what she does, especially with his knocked-up wife and two babies about 30 steps away, but that's our issue...

What complicates this sordid tale is that my husband came home and told me that in addition to having a highly questionable lapdance (I didn't press for details, but have a good idea where that went), the fiance went back to the bedroom he shares with his fiancee, and on their bed, at least tried to have sex with the stripper (for $150 extra). He was so trashed that he ended up getting sick all over the place, but as to exactly what went down (literally), my husband didn't know. They were certainly back there long enough for some handy-mouthy-attempted sex to occur. In my book, that's so completely totally cheating...

Last night, I was so upset that I was prepared to seek his fiance out to tell her what happened. If that were me, I would most definitely want to know, but maybe that's just me, and that what I need advice about. Today, slightly more level-headed, I've amended that to if she asks me directly about it, I'm not going to lie to her. I'm a pretty frank and honest person, and I like her too much to look at her and tell her something that isn't true...though I realize the potential ramifications that has with my husband's co-workers (another co-worker, married 1 year now, also got a pretty serious lap-dance and rubbed her vajayjay all over him - I know his wife too, and know she would definitely NOT be okay with that either...but I'm not touching that one.)

I told my husband that I wanted him to prepare his friend for the fact that if I'm asked about it directly (and come on, she's going to KNOW something bad has happened the moment she sees him), I'm going to tell her what I know. And if he doesn't "prepare" his friend for that, then I will.

Thoughts and/or advice anyone? 

Thanks so much for your input - much appreciated! I agree that I should stay mum UNLESS she asks me directly about it...I just can't lie to that poor girl. And I agree about men - sorry to generalize, for those who read this and are ready to jump all over me. I've been thinking all these years about my husband in a certain way...and come to find out, common sense is not a strong suit of his - apparently his brain is between his legs too.  I'm not sure what part of any of it, other than drinking with coworkers/buddies, sounded like a good idea.

Besides the ramifications for our relationship - and yes, I'm so angry that I've been drug into something that shouldn't have ever happened in the first place - the potential fallout from all of these juvenile shenanigans with CO-WORKERS is just plain stupid beyond all reason.

I too feel SO bad for his fiancee. She's SO sick and so stressed out about everything and just such a sweet, good-hearted girl - I could slap the sh** out of DH's buddy for being such a prick. I mean, the poor girl is carrying his child and all, if for nothing else...

I agree that HE needs to be the one to come clean. Otherwise, what a horrible way to start your life out together with someone you've committed to being with through thick and thin - lies, deceipt, and betrayal - great. In case he was thinking about keeping things to himself, I did think DH should "nudge" him in the right direction - knowing that if she can't get a straight story out of him, she will likely be looking for someone who will. But if he's too much of a coward to do that - then I'm prepared to do that. 

The website reference is great - thanks for that - think it might be a good idea to spend some time on there myself after all this mess!