Post # 1
So, I have no idea what to do. I want to be polite.
My husband has a coworker who is getting married. She apparently sent us a save the date months ago (my husband remembers, but I don’t). I’m the one who organizes this sort of stuff for us. We never received an invitation through the mail, but the other day my husband said she asked him at work if we were planning on attending. He told her yes.
The problem of course is that I don’t know anything other than the date (a month from now), so obviously I need more information. But I felt SUPER awkward asking, since we don’t really know her and weddings are so personal. I don’t even know why we’re invited!!
I asked my husband if he was 1000% sure we were invited. He swears we are. So I bit the bullet and sent her a facebook message (he’s FB friends with her) explaining that we unfortunately never received the invitation, but if we are in fact invited could she direct me to their wedding website or something so I could get more info. I didn’t want her to think we weren’t RSVPing on purpose! She quickly and politely responded that she would send my husband home with another invitation.
THAT WAS A WEEK AGO. We got nothing. So now we don’t know what to do since the wedding is so soon.
I think we just wait and see if we ever get an invitation. If we do, we’ll get them a gift and attend. If not, then we don’t.
He’s afraid she’ll think we no showed and/or she will have a setting for us at the wedding. He wants to just tell her we’re not going! I do want to attend, but I don’t feel like we should beg for more information. I feel bad though because we recently got married and she was part of their department group gift. That was very sweet.
Post # 3
@BluebonnetBride: I think it is really sweet that she participated in a gift for your wedding and I think it is really sweet you are putting effort into trying to attend her wedding. However, at this point your DH committed you guys to going, and he works with this person. I would put the ball in his court. He seems afraid to hurt her feelings, which I totally understand. I think the best way to avoid that is for him to ask her directly. It might be awkward but at least you guys will know what is going on!
Post # 4
Are there any other coworkers who are invited to the wedding that your husband could ask? If someone else from the office is going, maybe they can give your husband details about the wedding or the URL for their wedding website if they received an invite or STD card.
Post # 6
She might be swamped with other things: Work, wedding planning, etc. Ask your husband to politely nudge her again when next he sees her. She probably just forgot that she was supposed to give him another one. That sort of thing probably would have slipped my mind too during the wedding-planning stages!
Post # 7
@BluebonnetBride: Yeah, your husband is the one who works with and sees her. He needs to handle this.
Post # 8
@MsLesPaul: Unfortunately no! He has no idea who else may be invited and while I’m sure they’re invited if we’re invited…it might be awkward if we ask and they’re not invited. I googled their names already and found their registry on The Knot, but there’s no website to find.
@TheOkieWifey: Thanks for the sweet response! As you can tell, my husband is not very good at these things, haha. At least after our wedding he knows to be concerned about no showing a wedding!
@CorvusCorax: Yeah I’m sort of tired of asking him everyday if she gave him the invitation. I’ll try to ask him to mention it to her the next time he sees her. I’m sure she’s very busy since the wedding is so close, but I get so worried thinking she’s waiting on us!
Post # 9
@BluebonnetBride: if you’re not friends with her on FB, it’s highly likely that the message you sent went to her “other” mailbox, which most people have no idea even exists. I was pissed when I discovered mine, b/c I had dozens of messages from people who probably assumed I ignored them.
ETA nevermind lol, just saw that she did respond to your first message.
Post # 10
@BluebonnetBride: If I didn’t get an invitation, I wouldn’t go. I would get a gift, though. I’m sure after she realizes that she did not prioritize getting you guys an invitation that she will more than understand why you did not attend. She may be trying to be polite by showing that she intends on providing a formal invite, but hoping that you guys don’t actually attend if she delays long enough.