(Closed) Husbands who are bricks (vent)

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

oh geeze…men, they just don’t get it sometimes. I’m sorry 🙁 I don’t really have any good advice either but it sounds like your doing a great job around the house and taking care of the baby and he should appreciate that a little more.

Post # 4
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow guys can say such mean things sometimes! I know their intentions are not to be mean but some of the things they say are like come on really? I think you guys are still trying to find your rythm, so to speak. Being a new time mommy is really difficult especially since you seem to be working very hard at keeping things clean for him and hello raising a baby!He is lucky you do have libido, for some women it takes up to a year before they actually are ready for sex.

I think it’s wonderful you took time to put make up on, eventhough you didn’t get the reaction you wanted.  But you also did it for yourself and at this moment every little thing you can do for yourself during this very selfless time is valuable. My mom always tells me that when I have children I have to take care of myself also (I’m not a mother), be it putting on make-up, wearing something nice, taking a bath etc, you get the point. Talk to your SO and tell him how you feel, sometimes they just don’t realize how hurtful they are being.

Oh and congrats on getting married and your baby!

Post # 5
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

What a doofus! Men are so incredibly clueless and insulting sometimes. Maybe you should sit him down and have a firm talk with him about his actions and words and how he makes you feel.

Post # 6
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ummmm when DD was two months old FH was lucky if I took a shower and have him a kiss on he cheek. I probably would have hit him if he told me to let the baby cry so I could put makeup on – I’m sorry, but it sounds like you’re bending over backward for a guy who takes inappropriately long and ill-timed naps rather than keeping a responsible sleep schedule.

This is definitely not a “men” thing – are you happy? Do you feel like you’re beig treated well?

Post # 7
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

what the hell!?

you need to talk to him :S

Post # 8
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

((hugs)) 

Post # 9
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I feel you girl, we’ve got a 4 month old at home.  I have to admit, however, that your guy doesn’t sound like he’s contributing much.  Up until about a week ago, DH and I were sleeping in shifts (him from 9 to 2 and me from 2 to 7) and he’s working full time while I’m still on leave.  Doesn’t sound like your guy is doing much to help you out with the baby if he’s sleeping that much.  Maybe if he contributed a little more you’d have some more time to gussy yourself if that’s what he likes. 

I totally get the sex thing though.  We’ve done it ONE time since the baby was born.  ONE.  And that’s when my mom took the baby for the weekend.  Since we’re splitting the load evenly, we’re both freaking tired at night and although sex would be nice, it’s not really a priority right now for us I guess.  I really do wish we’d make it one though, because it’s starting to wear on me too.  I always want to initiate it, but he’s constantly complaining about how tired he is and I don’t like rejection so I haven’t tried.  

Sigh. 

Post # 10
Member
791 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

First I have to ask…you were married a few weeks ago when you had a 1 month old baby and you had lots of sex? Aren’t you supposed to wait 6 weeks after a baby to have sex again?

Also, your man needs to wake TF up! You have a 2 month old baby and he wants to see you in something nice after he gets to sleep 12 hours???? What’s he doing as a father? Working 8-5 is a sweet schedule, not a ball-breaker and he should be coming home and giving you a baby-break.

 

I don’t want to make you angry, but you need to start demanding his participation as a parent and stop worrying about looking appealing for him for now. You can’t let a 2 month old cry while you apply make-up! Most new moms are lucky to get a shower once a day and wear clothes without spit-up on them.

Good luck – your guy needs o grow up and man up.

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