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i had a teacher once with a hyphenated name. i wasnt sure what to call her at first but she just told us to call her by one of them on the first day of class. if you teach the young kids you can tell them to call your mrs. maiden name since its short. or just use mrs. initials of both. lots of options.
@JoesWifey: I hadn't thought of the Mrs. Initials idea - that might be a good plan actually! I do want to use both names, and if it was any other job, I would hypenate without worrying about it and use both, but this may be a good plan - thanks!
His surname is a Mc name, so his initials are McF, I'm a W so would be Mrs. W-McF. He is generally known as Mac (hence my username) so Mrs. Mac is always one option...
My first grade teacher (so, 7 year olds) had a hyphenated last name, and it worked out fine. Each name was only two syllables (four syllables, 11 letters total). We called her by her full hyphenated last name and it wasn't a problem. I think having kids call you Mrs. initials is a cute idea. But depending on what age you teach, they should be able to handle your full hyphenated name just fine if that is what you want. Maybe you can give kids the option to call you by your full hyphenated name or by your initials.
I made my "maiden" name my middle name and list it on all my syllabi, web pages, etc. I need the ability for my former students to be able to find me and all my degrees are in my maiden name. As for how my students address me. I tell them if they are going for brownie points that they can call me Professor New Last Name. If they don't give a flying frisbee, they can call me Mrs. New Last Name. I also tell them that none of them know me well enough to call me by my first name!
Since we had our kids before we were married, we gave them both of our last names.
Our kids: Firstname Middlename Mymaidenname-Hislastname.
I am: first name middle name maidenname-hislastname.
He is: Firstname Middlename Hislastname.
As a couple, we're usually addressed as Mr. & Mrs. Hislastname.
As an individual, and with clients, I'm usually addressed as First name Maidenname-Hislastname.
When dealing with teachers and it's just me, it's usually Mrs. Hislastname although some call me Mrs. Mymaidenname-Hislastname.
Teachers address my kids as either Firstname Hislastname or Firstname Mymaidenname-Hislastname. Their friends call me Mrs. Mymaidenname-Hislastname. We all find it funny when the kids friends call DH Mr. Mymaidenname-Hislastname although very few do that anymore! The kids usually tell their friends "You can call him Mr. Hislastname".
I'm a teacher and have also been thinking about hyphenating. I teach special ed and most of my kids cannot say my current name (a short 3 letter last name), and have their own version, so if I hyphenate (or not...) they will just continue to make up their own version of my new name haha
There was another teacher at my school who hyphenated and went by Mrs. Initials. I liked that a lot.
I'm a teacher also, and I've always known I'd want to change my last name. But, people have said to me over the years 'I love your name, it's perfect for being a teacher".
I can't say I'm not tempted, but his name is easy too, and I'm a traditionalist at heart.
Funny thing is, at the private school I just started at the students call us by Miss Firstname, so when I get married this summer, my name won't be changing for them!
Back in high school one of my english teachers was hyphenated Mrs. L_______-H______. Everyone (even other teachers and the principal) called her Mrs. L.H. I honestly can't even remember her full name anymore.
I'm a teacher with several hundred (!) elementary-age students. :)
We have many, many teachers who've gotten married at my school (including me!), and from my experience
(a) it takes a long time for the students to realize you have a new name and call you that. I have students of multiple grades who've seen me for years, so it's harder for them (it will probably take 2 years at least), but this seems to be true even for teachers who just teach one grade. It will be easier if you can get your name officially changed before the start of the year, so that the other staff also refer to you by your new name; that will help the kids remember.
(b) all the teachers in our school with hyphenated names are only called the first one, ie., their maiden name. For instance the teacher who was Ms. Jones (not a real name), is now Mrs. Jones-Smith, everyone just says Mrs. Jones. it's like she never changed it. At first, the kids remember, but after a while, they just shorten it because it's easier for them. Kids will do that!
BTW, you and I have the same wedding date! You're getting married on our one-year anniversary. :)
I'm a teacher and I changed to my married name, no hyphen.
The littlest kids caught on first, and the adults last.
It was fun to change my name because I got to keep talking about getting married! :)
I'm a teacher and I also teach grad school, part time.
At school I changed my name and everyone calls me Mrs. Hisname but people remember my former name and sometimes call me that. It's ok - I sometimes forget and refer to myself as my old name.
I know other teachers who have hypenated and the kids use the entire name.
For my college gig, I never changed my name except for payroll so there I am Prof. Oldlastname. (I'm an encore so I was using exh name.)
This worked out well for me b/c I felt a little conflicted about changing my name - again!
I am a special ed teacher, and got married in November. I gave up on the name change thing this year... and the students (along with faculty!) call me either by my maiden name or my married name... all depending on what they remember at the time. I figure I will wait until next school year before offically becoming "Mrs. Hislastname". My work email also has my maiden name in it... and there is no way Im about to go changing that halfway through the year.
One of my teaching assistants recently got engaged, and is struggling with whether to change her name, or hyphenate. Her maiden name is long and difficult for my kids to pronounce, so they just call her Ms. B. Her fiances last name starts with S. One of my students quipped up with, "You cant hyphenate your last names... then we would have to call you Mrs. B-S!" Haha- only out of the mouths of children...
@kimmylyn: LOL! If I hyphenated and went by the initials, I would also be Mrs. B-S! Still trying to figure this name thing out...
It really does seem like it is easier to go with the one name, isn't it? Thanks for all of your replies ladies, it helps me think about this without my emotions kicking in to tell me I want to keep my name too!
I am changing school once we get married, so whatever name I choose, whether hypenated or my name, or his name, I will start at the school as Mrs. New Name as thankfully our school year ends in June, we get married in July and I start at my new school in August so I won't have the confusion of a name change to add in there, just trying to work out what to go with! The kids already get confused and call me Mrs now instead of Miss, and it is always weird hearing that because my Mom is a teacher too and she is Mrs. My Last Name now :)
I am thinking maybe my maiden name as a middle name is a better option, and quite like this idea if we give our kids two middle names, the second one being my maiden name. I am not sure what my fiance will feel about this one but it is worth chatting over!
My middle school CompSci teacher was known as Mr. BP as he and his wife decided to hyphenate their last names but Bupp-Petersheim is a bit of an awkward mouthful so everyone called him BP.
I'm a teacher and am going to keep my maiden name and add his. So, I will be Madame K_____ C_____. The kids know me now as Madame K_____. I think I will start out using both, but tell them they can call me by my new name.
I teach college (so the "kids" are a bit older) but we are both going to hyphenate our last names. In school/my professional life, I will remain "Dr. Jones" (not my real name) and FI will remain "Dr. Smith" but in our private lives (and when we send out Christmas cards) we will be "Mr. and Mrs. Jones-Smith."
I had a teacher with a hyphenated name. It was Ms. M______ - C_________ and she ended up being Ms. MC. We just said the initials.
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Hi Ladies,
I know we all have different feelings on the name change & whether it is for us or not. I am still debating this one 11 months into our engagement, and as we get married in 6 months, I kind of feel like time is going to make my mind up!
I have always been really iffy about changing my surname, and this is something we have debated about for years to be honest, even before talking about marriage! My name is current
First Name Middle Name Biological Surname (now 2nd Middle Name) Last Name (Stepdad's surname).
So I already have 4 names, my first & middle names that I was name when I was born, and then my Mom remarried and I took my stepdad's name as my surname, but my parents made my biological name another middle name. I have hated this for years, it made me really angry that my parents (Mom & Stepdad) included my biological name as a middle name when we changed my name (I was 3) but I am super happy that I have grown up with my Stepdad's last name - this is my proper name as I see it and I never wanted to have my biological name in my name at all. Particularly because it is a weird name as well and actually means something, but not something you would name someone so people just thought I had a weird name. I intend to drop my biological surname/now 2nd middle name when we get married as it isn't me.
So anyway, I have always struggled with the name change idea because of this change & just the fact that I don't think you should have to change your name just because you marry. I want us to have the same name, but I don't want to loose my last name (stepdad's name), and I don't really only want it to be a middle name as I want it to be a name that is used. So, hypenating would be the plan - except H2B won't hypenate so it would just be me. I'm ok with this, he is less so but we can live with that. However, I am in my final few months of teacher training for primary school (Ages 4 - 11 in the UK).
It gives me two questions I guess & I'm wondering what the rest of the hive thinks
1. Is it ok to have a double barrelled surname as a teacher? It seems like a real mouth full to me for the kids to say - it would be Mrs. My Last Name-His Last Name. (My last name is short, 4 letters, his is 9 letters and not easy to spell). It seems so stupid to let a job dictate your name, but with a job where you are called Mrs. all day, it seems fairly important.
2. How do people address you when you hypenate & he doesn't.
Mr His First His Last and Mrs Your First Your Last-His Last? Or do people just end up saying Mr and Mrs His Last which to a certain extent defeats hypenating?
Bit stuck really!